Welcome Friends

Welcome to my funny little world. Sometimes it's a bit sad, sometimes it's a bit mad, but I try to give you some uplifting words every day. And in amongst them I'll give you a little philosophy and celebrate just being. If you like a good bedtime story or you are just curious about your life or mine or you want to be encouraged, then come on in, the water's lovely!

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

New Year Blues?

I know it isn't New Year yet but everything that can be said about Christmas has already been said hasn't it?

Some years ago I met for the first time, one of those people who hates New Year. Until then I had not been aware of this substantial group. This particular individual explained that he found New Year depressing because it was an opportunity to look back over the year past and realise that he had achieved nothing, not moved on in life, not got anywhere nearer to reaching his goals.

My thoughts were instantly that this was one seriously depressing and depressed person! Well heavens, if you looked back at all your failures wouldn't you hate it too? I certainly would. This man had no perspective on what he HAD achieved. Maybe he had learned to cook macaroni cheese or discovered more about recycling or painted his kitchen, bought a new car, educated himself by reading a paper twice a week. I don't know what he had done but I know he had achieved something. But he wasn't acknowledging anything that he had done.

Perhaps some of our strategic goals might not have been achieved in full but let's not let that overshadow who we are and what we do and have done this year. I haven't achieved everything I wanted to and I haven't got as far with some goals as I wanted to get either. What I have achieved though has been an expansion of my hypnotherapy work, an excellent work/life balance and a deeper love for my small son. Those things are important and although I did not do the one thing that I wanted most this year, I will not be feeling depressed when the New Year arrives.

Take a proper look at what you have done this year. And if you acknowledge the detail then you will find achievments and positive change too.

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Celebrate Happiness

I feel like I'm in a confessional, "Bless me Father for I have sinned because it has been a few weeks since my last blog post." What can I say? Family and home pressures too numerous, not to mention the time I have to give to my clients, and actually it is right that I give more time to family and clients than to my blog.

Onwards with the blog!

My subject today is to celebrate happiness. I have a couple of very worthwhile clients at the moment who have both suffered difficult childhoods and difficult subsequent life experiences. If I let them dwell on these they could feel pretty depressed don't you think? So we are trying to stimulate their happy neural networks. Every day they have to think of and dwell on a positive memory or experience or feeling.

Thoughts are only flases of electrical stimulation and they go round the brain through networks. These networks are the ones they know, the ones they have been used to taking and using. A person who likes dogs will have a neural network set up so that each time he sees a dog he feels positive, happy, perhaps a nice memory may be sparked. Someone witha dog phobia would have a diferent, negative network of thoughts activated by the same stimulus. Each of these networks are in part habits. The brain is used to responding in this way os it always responds in a similar manner.

So if we keep prodding and stimulating the positive networks then we can develop more positive habitual ways of thinking. And if we have a habit of thinking positively then we become more positive overall.

Despite the tough times, everyone does have some positive memories or experiences to draw on. Any tiny memory will do - playing in the snow, a funny time with a friend, enjoying a certain TV programme - anything at all. If you train yourself to consider a happy or positive memory or a positive thing about yourself as a person every single day, you will be compounding and strengthening your positive view of yourself. You will improve your self-esteem slowly but surely.

There are positive parts of everyone and we need to strengthen these sides of ourselves in order to learn how to deal with the negative parts of life. Even something that started off badly will have a bit of good to build upon.

If you have been born into an unfortunate situation, it is not necessarily your destiny to stay in that mould. You CAN change your stars. I would like to recommend a film called "A Knights Tale" starring the late Heath Ledger, which describes how the unlikliest situations can turn around.

And remember, in your darkest hours, "I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars." I wish Heath Ledger had been able to see those stars.

The stars ARE there. All you need to do is open your eyes and look up.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009


Heard of these?

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). EFT is the tapping technique where you tap on points of the body in order to release emotional disturbance and upset. I have made one or two blog posts about it.

CBT is based on changing the way we think in order to change the way we feel. Very simply, you recognise a negative thought, decide why it is negative and then place a positive spin on it. Practised diligently, over time and with persistence it should help by lietrally changing your mind.

There is a fundamental difference between EFT and CBT, which a client recently pointed out to me. She has worked with CBT before and is therefore used to changing negatives into positives. EFT on the other hand focuses on all the negative thoughts, brings them into consciousness and uses the tapping system to discharge them. This bothered my client, who felt that EFT is a very negative therapy.

If you compare it to CBT, then in this respect you could say that EFT does feel rather negative. But I promise you that it works because with EFT we focus on all the negative aspects of a situation until they are dealt with, processed and the negative sting has been taken away. Some parts of life ARE negative, and may not be what we would like to deal with but if we are not overwhelmed with emotion then we are able to deal with them in a positive manner.

There is an EFT method called "Choices" which I also employ, which has a far more positive feel to it. It adds in the positive frame of mind that we want to cultivate, after we have dealt with the negative feeling. For those who enjoy CBT, this application of EFT is sure to be a winner.

Want to try EFT and feel free? There's more on my website: http://www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk/EFT.html

Sunday, 18 October 2009

On romance

A girlfriend recently emailled me to say that she had prepared an evening picnic for her partner. She had put the children to bed and had laid out some beautiful food and drink on a blanket in the living room for her beloved when he got home.

It struck me instantly that it was a wonderful thing to do. Romantic, thoughtful, pleasing, simple.

Ladies, do you ever wish or grumble that your partner is never romantic? What do you mean by that? Do you ever make romantic gestures for him? Well do you?

It is easy for us to complain about the lack of romance displayed by our men. But if we never reciprocate then what do we expect? I'd like to encourage all ladies to start to do a little more on the romance stakes. Sometimes perhaps we expect too much of our men. And if we display the behaviour we would like to experience then others tend to follow suit. When we are polite, we tend to be spoken to politely. If we are angry and aggressive, our opposite number usually reacts with anger and aggression.

So if we are romantic and loving, why would our loved ones not react in a similar manner? Try it. I'm going to.

Monday, 12 October 2009

I can't explain it but...

Many people are sceptical of complementary therapy. And very many are sceptical about hypnotherapy and EFT. Even some of my clients are sceptical about the therapies I practise. Yet they are willing to come along and pay me. This is amusing though it shouldn't be.

I had one such client this morning.

"I can't explain it but I have stopped snacking between meals. I don't know why but I stopped doing that instantly after our first session."

So she came to see me and we worked with some hypnosis and she has been listening diligently to the CD I gave her. Yet she doesn't know why she has stopped her snacking?! It surely couldn't be the hypnotherapy could it? No of course not, it couldn't possibly be anything to do with the 2 hour session that we just had together!

We worked with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) today and I showed my client a very nifty EFT method to get rid of cravings. After we finished, she really did not want to eat the bag of crisps that I offered her. And yet she remains sceptical about whether EFT really works. OK, I'll almost give you that one because EFT is so new and different, but I promise you it does work. It just got rid of your craving for crisps!

EFT is the background workhorse, quietly chipping away at negative emotions, removing obstacles. Every single objection can be swept away and dealt with. All the excuses can be simply and quickly zapped. All the "I can't because..." that I hear so often from my weight loss clients are deleted and removed so we can get on with the business at hand - losing weight with hypnosis.

Hypnotherapy makes reducing calories easier. EFT gets rid of the obstacles to long-term, effective weight loss. And so it clears the way for hypnotherapeutic work. If you want to lose weight but are finding it difficult, try hypnotherapy.

More at www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Gastric Band Surgery with Hypnosis

Yes really!

Take a look at this news report: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5357013/Woman-lost-4st-after-hypnotist-convinced-her-of-gastric-band-fitting.html#

If you can't be bothered, I will summarise! So an obese woman goes to a hypnotherapist who hypnotises her into believing that she has had gastric band surgery. She knows she has not but still she can only eat small amounts of food. Since her food consumption has dropped, so does her weight.

It's a simple cause and effect but the case is interesting for a hypnotherapist. You are wondering, "Is this real? Can this really be done?" Yes of course it can. I won't bore you with the how and why I believe this case can work but it is totally possible. Hypnosis can help with weight loss and the "hypnotic gastric band" is clearly one method of achieving that. I haven't employed that method yet but perhaps I should!

Want to know more about hypnosis? My website www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk should answer most of your questions. Or give me a call. Researching the solution is only background information, picking up the phone to make an appointment is really making that solution happen for you.

Monday, 5 October 2009

Derren Brown

Derren Brown, entertainer, showman and illusionist (my description) has angered me beyond belief. On his show on Friday night he performed a rapid hypnotic induction on a highly suggestible young man. He then gave him the command to go to a bank and take out £5K and give it to Derren, which he did. Derren then helpfully erased his memory of the event.

Derren was then able to use the £5K to go gambling at a casino. There was far more to the show than this and I would argue that it was one of Derren's least entertaining shows but never mind.

The point I would like to make is that he was extremely irresponsible in doing this. The entire thing may easily have been staged. I know of no bank that allows you to spontaneously withdraw £5K in cash. And 5 days later the young man said he had no recollection of the meeting. Had he not noticed a £5K hole in his finances?

It matters not one jot whether this was real or staged. What matters is that it looked to the viewer that hypnosis is mind control. I spend a considerable time with new clients to bust this myth and to reassure them that if I directed them to give me large sums of money from the cashpoint then they would not comply. If any of my clients both past and future potential were watching then they will have lost all confidence in what I said!

I cannot tell you how infuriated I am. My clients have to have confidence in me, in the therapeutoic nature of hypnotherapy and in my moral use of the techniques. Everything I do is directed at achieving the clients' goals, to help them achieve what they want to achieve and trust me, none of them want to give me huge sums of cash - not at first anyway!

I would just like to reassure everyone that in a hypnotic trance, a client will comply with the hypnotherapist in accordance with his/her own deeply held beliefs and values. So if you want the therapist to help you with a fear of flying then you will respond to all that is said which relates to fear of flying. therefore you will comply with that part of therapy because it is what you want. My explanation of the young subject on the Derren Brown show (if it was not staged) is that he wanted to give him the money because he liked Derren, he wanted to help him, he wanted to feel that he was a special part of his show and that no one else could help Derren out, that he was receiving special treatment, that he would be rewarded and that there was no risk to his money. Of course, this would not be show on TV because Derren is a showman, he cannot reveal all his secrets.

It is important to remember that Derren Brown is not a hypnotherapist although he does sometimes engage in positive hypnotherapeutic techniques, as in the Trick or Treat series. A hypnotherapist who is a member of a professional body such as the General Hypnotherapy Register, the National Council for Hypnotherapy or the British Society of Clinical Hypnotherapists would never attempt to influence a client in the way that Derren does with the willing participants on his show.

If you want real therapy then don't ask an entertainer!

Find out more at my website: www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Are you a Weight Watcher?

A substantial number of my clients are trying to control their weight. In fact they are trying to lose weight. I can help people to maintain or increase but the ones who are trying to be slimmer are those who find their way to me.

I feel like I am a Weight Watcher, looking over my clients' shoulders at their scales, squinting myopically to get the first read of the dial. If they have lost in the week, then all is well, but if a pound has crept on instead, I am in for a rocky time!

When an individual comes to see me for help they are handing over their life to me, or a certain section of it. they like to place the responsibilty on me, so I become the crutch, to prop them up. Holding them up, I gently lead them, support them and walk with them through whatever issue it is that they are navigating. After a time, they start to forget that they need the crutch and start to walk forward by themselves, often turning back just to check I am still here and watching.

It's the tmes when things don't go so well that my clients really lean on me. When that pound is added instead of shedded, it is often, "I don't understand it, I did everything you told me." Or there are tales of not quite managing to "be good" this week. Either way, it's ok, I just have to prop them up, do some more work with them, find out the potential pitfalls and deal with them. This is a lot of effort on my part, to pick someone up who feels like they have fallen, but we manage it and the individual goes on to success.

Weight loss with hypnosis can be the easiest weight loss programme of all, if you put a little time in, if you follow the therapist's instructions. And the weight stays off too, that's the really good bit. It is slow but it lasts. A client phoned me this week, who has not had a session since June or July. He is hoping to hae lost one more pound when he weighs in this week. That will be 21 pounds since April and he is looking forward to it so much as it will bring his BMI down to below 30. It has taken him 23 weeks to achieve this and he is still doing well. You can do it too.

More on my website www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Can you Stop Smoking in one Hour?

Well can you? Is it possible? Of course it is; you can stop smoking in an instant if you want to, it doesn't take a full hour for a magic transformation to take place!

Stopping smoking or quitting smoking is one of the standard treatments that Hypnotherapists offer. Almost all of them offer a one session treatment to be free of cigarettes. I don't do this. I think I may be alone in offering a 2 session program. But my program works!

What I do is to get to know the person properly first. We explore the reasons why someone smokes and why they think they smoke, what the cigarettes do for them. Then I bust all the myths about smoking - it helps me to relax, it helps me concentrate etc. After that we take a good look at what the person thinks they are going to find difficult and what things or situations might trip them up and cause them to smoke again.

You see, unless you really address all these issues, you have left too much to chance. If someone truly believes that he needs cigarettes to get through difficult work situations, if you take them away, how is he then going to cope with the difficult meetings? You can't remove something and leave a vacuum. "Nature abhors a vacuum" remember. If you are not careful, something else destructive might worm its way in, like overeating.

So, after I have found all the barriers to a person's success, I go about giving them strategies to overcome these barriers. I may use hypnosis or NLP. What I always do, is give them homework for the following week. This is in the form of Emotional Freedom Technique, to remove negatives, to blast barriers and zap obstacles.

My clients go away feeling motivated, uplifted and ready to set about the task of quitting. Occasionally they don't! And for these clients, they just go home and decide to carry on smoking or maybe come back at another time. You can't force these things, everyone has their own timetable and if someone is still unsure after a session with me then the time is not right for them. The chance of success is low so in order not to experience failure, it's better to wait until they are ready. And that's fine.

So my clients go away for a week and when they come back they have destroyed all their smoking paraphernalia. That pot outside the back door is gone, the lighters thrown away, ashtrays cleaned and given to charity. Clean fresh clothes on. One client even washed her curtains before her appointment.

So my client returns, absolutely ready to be a non-smoker, champing at the bit, raring to go. We do a bit more EFT and then I perform the hypnosis session. This is the hour long session that so many hypnotherapists give their clients. And the person walks out of the door as a non-smoker - every time.

The 2 session program works. I have seen it time and again. I have amended it twice for clients who were desperate to do it in one go and I won't do that again, because both of them ran into difficulties which they should not have done. I don't like to see that.

Let me give you some case studies. One lady came to see me, who identified in her first session that cigarettes helped her cope with stress and that if anything was going to stop her from successfully quitting it was her mother. So I was able to see that her problem was stress with her mother, not cigarettes at all. SO I worked first with her for 3 sessions on resolving that stress and how she could manage her relationship better. When she had that under control, she was then ready to become a non-smoker. If we had gone ahead and attempted the one stop smoking hypnosis session, I predict that it would not have worked for her in the long-term.

Another gentleman came to see me for stress, over-drinking and smoking. He revealed that he drank between 70 and 100 units of alcohol per week, he was generally mildly unhappy, had recently retired and couldn't seem to control his drinking. He said he wanted to get that under control first and then deal with the smoking. We worked together for 4 or 5 sessions, while he gained control of his drinking and became more optimistic and motivated. At that point he said he wanted to consolidate and wasn't ready to quit smoking just yet because he was so happy his drinking was now at manageable levels. He had achieved what he wanted to achieve at that point, it really wasn't necessary to push a stop smoking hypnosis session at him too.

So to answer my question I first posed; yes I do believe it is possible to stop smoking with hypnosis in one hour BUT this approach will not be successful with everyone. Hypnosis to stop smoking will be successful for nearly everyone when a longer, slower approach is employed that takes into account the individual's circumstances and beliefs and works to set the stage for success before the "one hour" session is employed.

There's more on my website http://www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk/quit_smoking.htm

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Being Thankful

It's too long since I regularly "blogged" and I have lost many of my friends on the journey. But that's ok, perhaps I will make some new ones. I've not been in full health and there's a reason for that which I don't yet fully understand. Understanding will come though.

Today's post is about thankfulness and mindfulness. It will strike a chord with those of you who follow a religion. To others it will sound overtly "Pollyanna-ish" and perhaps some will want to scream at me. To let you in, I have been through all of those reactions so just accept your reaction fopr what it is. That's mindfulness.

So my subject is to be thankful. There definitely is something to be learned in every situation that life throws at us. When all is going our way, we rarely stop to consider what we are learning. Perhaps that is becuase the soul is not developing, perhaps it is too easy. When life is tough, sometimes a small voice nags us to understand that every part of life is a journey and that we will be picking up experiences and learning from them. Yet when we are in physical or emotional pain or mental anguish engulfs us, then how on earth can we take anything positive from where we are?

That's when the screaming voice can take over and want to cut down any self-righteous, patronising do-gooder who looks on sympathetically and tells us to "be positive."


But if you look closely, there is an ingredient missing from the recipe and it is TIME. In the thick of it, in the middle of the fight, all you can do is protect yourself from the blows and strike out when you get the opportunity. Only later when you analyse it with your coach and watch the video footage will you be able to gain the perspective you need to really learn from the mistakes you made in the ring.

So try this now. Look backwards in time and pick a time or situation or a person which you would rather miss out if you could play the film of your life again. With the perspective of time, examine the video footage and see if you can identify the positive aspects. What did you do well? But most of all, what are you thankful for?

I would rather forget and miss out the experience of marriage to my first husband but on so many days I have reason to feel thankful for the time we spent together. He taught me to cook! To cook real, fresh food and to experiment, to not be afraid in the kitchen. I still have the cookery book he patronisingly bought me the week before our wedding - it is a firm favourite of mine.

If I take this concept further and extrapolate the effect of learning to cook, I can thank my ex-husband for my health. Ten years of eating unprocessed, fresh food has doubtless had a positive effect on my health. It is a strange feeling to thank him for that but I cannot deny it.

Finding something positive in a bad situation liberates us from the negative emotional effects of that unfortunate experience. For some people there may be much healing required but the exercise of thankfulness can be a start.

Try that today.

Monday, 3 August 2009

Emotional Freedom Technique

Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT will be the "next big thing" in my humble opinion. It is a system of tapping on acupuncture points on the body which brings about emotional and physical relief from all kinds of negative emotions and physical symptoms.

Try this article:

Surgeon Uses New Acupressure Technique to Lower Surgery Risk

San Francisco, CA (PRWEB) -- Almost everyone who’s scheduled for surgery experiences at least a few symptoms of anxiety. But while some stress is normal, patients who experience severe anxiety actually increase their need for sedating drugs and subsequent complications such as severe pain, slower wound healing, and increased risk of infection, adverse drug reactions, cognitive impairment, and longer hospital stays.

According to Los Angeles surgeon Eric Robins, MD, there’s a simple way to reduce these risks by reducing the anxiety that causes them. His prescription is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), a simple do-it-yourself procedure that combines gentle fingertip tapping on key acupuncture points with focused thought.

“Stress is a real problem in health and healing,” says Dr. Robins. “but it doesn’t just complicate surgery, it actually contributes to disease. Most of the problems that send people to surgeons are themselves linked to stress, anxiety, or past traumas. I like EFT because it’s easy to demonstrate, easy to learn, works fast, and addresses an illness’s underlying factors. In some cases, it works so well that we have to cancel the operation.”

One of Dr. Robins’ patients was scheduled for surgery because she wasn’t able to void urine after a knee replacement. During her pre-op exam, Dr. Robins wondered whether emotional factors might be interfering with the function of her bladder.She answered that stress from her husband’s recent illness might be a factor. “Even though we were talking in a busy medical clinic with many distractions,” says Dr. Robins, “I taught her EFT and guided her through 10 minutes of tapping. After we filled the patient’s bladder with water and removed her catheter, she voided just fine. Five days later she was still doing well, making the surgery unnecessary. Her symptoms never returned.

”When surgery is needed, he says, EFT can reduce or eliminate pre-op nerves, reduce the patient’s need for anesthetics, speed recovery, and improve the procedure’s outcome.

Reducing a patient’s need for sedating drugs is important not only to those with drug sensitivities but to America’s aging population. According to the American Society of Anesthesiologists, over half of patients age 60 and older experience confusion and other symptoms of cognitive impairment when discharged after surgery, and three months later, over a third continue to be adversely affected. Patients undergoing heart surgery, joint replacement, or fracture repair are at greatest risk of anesthesia-related mental decline.

Gary Craig, the Stanford-trained engineer who developed EFT, has collected thousands of reports from EFT practitioners around the world. “Several describe how by reducing their anxiety, patients reduced and in some cases eliminated their need for epidurals and other drugs or procedures,” he says. “Others demonstrate how EFT speeds recovery and helps patients regain their full range of motion and resume their normal activities.”

“EFT is one of my favorite healing tools,” says Dr. Robins. “It’s the perfect complement to conventional medicine, and I strongly recommend it for anyone getting ready for surgery.”

This article cites Eric Robins, a well-respected medical doctor and author of many self-help books in the USA.

EFT is an amazing therapy, it can be used on anything and everything. I use it frequently in my practice and teach it to most of my clients, in whom I have seen several miraculous results. Hypnotherapy is excellent for adding in the positive, to encourage new ways of behaving. For deleting old unhelpful ways of living, negative self-defeating thoughts and the negative self-talk that we use, you simply can't beat EFT.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Books for Children

I have ideas for 2 books. I have the outline chapters for one and a synopsis written. The other is still in my head but I started to write it this week.

This book is one that I am writing for my son. It is a love story, the story of how his daddy and I met. It's a long story and spans 9 years from our first meeting to having a full relationship. We met at work and 8 years later he told me that he loved me. Every time I tell anyone the story they go all gooey and someone once said that it sounded like a film.

None of us know how long we will be here. Sometimes we tread our lives on the thinnest of knife edges. And sometimes we don't even know how close to the edge we were. So in case I never get to tell the story to my boy, I am writing it now. So one day he will know just how deep our love goes.

What is your story?

Monday, 6 April 2009

Desert Island Discs

My husband and I enjoy listening to Desert Island Discs on Radio 4 (and sounding like complete oldies too, even though we are not). How did that happen? Did we suddenly turn 65 in our heads without even noticing? I digress.

We enjoy listening to the mini life stories and the important stories from a person's past. The music feels like an aside until you hear what they have chosen. Sometimes an incredibly intelligent and interesting person has the most dire taste in music, at which point we are forced to comment that we wouldn't want to be marooned on their particular desert island. It's often a shame as many individuals who we would have invited to our fantasy dinner party don't quite cut the mustard of the Desert Island.

Personally I am hugely relieved that I am not famous, and not planning on becoming so either. What if I were to be invited on Dersert Island Discs myself? This is something that I could simply not countenance because I could not stand to have to imagine that I might really be cast away. I would end up taking it terribly seriously and feel sure that I would get stupidly upset.

Firstly the choosing of the records would be impossible and would take me months, and even then I would be fretting that I should have chosen something else. And then I would have to talk to Kirsty Young about how I would cope and that would be the moment that would crucify me. To have to contemplate being left alone and lost for years, probably for ever, is my worst nightmare. The loneliness would be intolerable. That end part of the programme always grips me with a cold dread. I was once sufficiently devoid of my senses to watch that film, "Castaway" with Tom Hanks and every moment was close to terror for me.

I'm sure that other people just listen to Desert Island Discs as an entertainment. To me it's torture.

Tuesday, 24 February 2009


I had a really excellent day yesterday. My anxiety client has had a massive breakthrough. I never expect treatment to be quite this dramatic so as she finished telling me all about how wonderful she was feeling, I had to ask,"What can I actually do for you then?"

I felt like my work was finished, oh halleluyah, I love it when this happens! Actually it wasn't, there was more work to do for her. But what a brilliant session! This lady reported that all the usual anxiety inducing situations were just passing by so quickly without symptoms that she kept thinking, "Hang on, I've just done something that should have given me a panic attack." She wasn't even noticing what was happening. It was as if the anxiety had never even been there.

I think I have said this before but I got such a buzz. To think that the elimination of anxiety states really is possible, quickly, with no drugs just blows my mind. Mainly because it has such a positive effect on somebody's life.

My job is to help people to enjoy their lives. That is all there is.

Monday, 16 February 2009


Lost my equilibrium for a short while. Had a wobbly blip. It happens, even though peeps think it doesn't. As I said in an earlier post, this is the real world and it's not quite as fluffy as we would all like. Anyhow, the status quo is mostly restored.

I was in London today and I managed to take a short walk in Regents Park. I loved seeing the wonderful old trees. I always feel very grounded by large trees; they are so old, it's as if the wisdom of the world is rising through their roots. I find the winter, bare branches look enables you to see their beauty best. It was quite restorative.

I was able to do a little people watching too, which I find is best in cities. I saw a few people who looked like the sort of people I might have been friends with if I had that sort of a city life and it got me thinking about the "turn of a sixpence" theme again. When I got my A level results I had dropped one grade which meant that I was no longer eligible for a place at City University in London. I was heartbroken. All I wanted was to escape my small-town country upbringing and get living!

I ended up going to a very second choice small-town campus university which I was never entirely happy with. Then my life went in some strange directions and about 15 years later I found myself writing a letter to my Grandma that I was enjoying living in my new house but it was in the middle of a large town. Luckily I was right next to a park and could see trees outside my study window. I spent a lot of time staring at those trees that year and I longed for more grass and mud.

And so I realised that in fact I was a bit of a country girl. So every time I visit London I am faced with the image of what might have been and I honestly feel glad that it wasn't. Yet that one dropped grade held the key and I never knew. Everything would have been different and I would have been a very different person, and I am not sure I would have been happy shoehorning myself in to that life.

I am fascinated that small events in our pasts shape our futures so much. Who knows what I am doing right now that seems insignificant, yet could change the course of events.

I think the key is making the best of the hand we are dealt. It is not what happens in our lives that shape us and give us happiness, it is our responses.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Cake Philosophy

Picture if you can a dinner table with a few Army officers assembled and a few of their wives, oh plus little old me! It's only a few years ago, it's summer in Cyprus, no one is old or crusty or has a handlebar moustache. No one is over forty! One colourful and just a bit sexist character has been holding fort for most of the meal, entertaining the rest of us with much hilarity.

He then launches into a discussion of the wives left at home while husbands go off on exercises and tours. Imagine a public school accent, a little like Lieutenant George in Blackadder (the character is in fact a Lieutenant Colonel) as he said, "I don't know what they're on about really. If they get sad, just do what I tell my wife to do. Go bake yourself a cake and cheer yourself up!"

The sheer crassness and disbelief of this piece of advice had the table in stitches. Said officer was on a tour in Cyprus and did not have his wife with him but I would so like to meet her!

So it was that I found myself having a bit of a low day today. Couldn't concentrate, couldn't settle on doing anything. With David Eccles' (I can't forget him) advice having been ringing in my ears for over 10 years now, I tried out his philosophy and set to a Victoria sponge.

Now being a therapist, I think people believe I have the perfect life and am completely together and don't get bothered by anything, but hey, remember the real world? It is hard sometimes because I often find myself doing the very things I help my clients to stop. Eating the wrong things mainly!

So you should NEVER use food as a comforter. Food is fuel for the body, which tastes delicious. But the difference in cake making is the making. Baking a cake is creating something, an artisan skill, something which humans often don't do any more. We live instant lives, we buy things that factories or other people have made in bulk. That's what accounts for the rise in interior design programmes - we want to create. We want to make our mark, to see that we have achieved something physical which we can see.

So I made my Victoria sponge and great fun it was too. Until I found that the strawberry jam had gone mouldy in the fridge. Sigh. Ah well, I sandwiched it together with buttercream icing anyway and it tasted yummy! I haven't binged on it and I won't eat it in one go.

When I was a teenager I was in fact a demon cake maker but these sort of skills need practice and I am sadly well out of that practice now. But it was an honest and delicous effort and actually it has lifted me a bit.

The philosophy of sponge - try it for yourself!

Monday, 9 February 2009

Embarrassing Brits

I am again embarrassed to be a Brit for the second time in a fortnight. Last night it snowed again, probably about an inch and the temperature dropped leaving the place very icy this morning, with some dangerous roads. But most roads are passable if you drive carefully at the correct speed for the road, your vehicle and your level of driving expertise.

So what happens? Many of our schools are closed again because it is felt that it is "not safe for staff or pupils" What the hell is going on here? Why don't people just go to work and go to school? So they might fall over on the ice. So what? They are not going to die! My goodness if I had missed school every day it was icy I would never have learnt anything! And nor would any other children in North West Europe or Canada or anywhere else that's cold. Clearly our current batch of headteachers are frightened to take a stand, to make any kind of decision other than a scared one.

What happened to the Dunkirk spirit? What happened to struggle over adversity? What happened to ORDINARY COMMON SENSE???????????

I fear we are teaching our children to be complete cowards, frightened to take the smallest risk. We are teaching a nation to grow up like the Mavis character on Coronation Street - "Oooh, I don't really knoooww." Great, what a future to look forward to.

I must not forget to add, both Squeaky and I have suffered injuries from the weather. He was walking the dog yesterday when he fell over, whereupon Patchwork dog carried on walking/bouncing and poor Squeaky didn't think to let go of the lead. Heaven knows why as he usually drops it at the least pause in concentration, but not today. So dog bounces away and drags poor Squeaky boy behind her through the lumpy hard snow. Much crying and bruised faces and noses and wet clothes. Huge cuddles needed.

And stupid, stupid me! I was shovelling snow on Saturday morning. Just on the last 5 minutes. Aha, a great piece of ice, let's just move that away and then I'll be finished. Too hard to break it into pieces, let's just lift the big heavy ice in one piece and throw it over..... AAARRRGGGHH! And there I was, doubled over the shovel, my back knackered. And only just having had it expensively put back together again by the wonderful Patt (Here's her website, she is AMAZING! http://www.pattstock.co.uk/)

It is VERY irritating!

Friday, 6 February 2009

Snowy about the ears

I couldn't resist posting this pic of the Patchwork dog. She has been bouncing around like a spring puppy and has obviously been expensively faking it! Grrr!

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Emotional Links

I had a great client appointment this morning, which I am pleased to say was so satisfying. My weight loss client had a wonderful breakthrough by really getting to the emotional heart of her weight problem. Or at least getting to part of the emotional heart. Whichever part it was, she felt really good afterwards.

This lady arrived for our meeting feeling very negative about pretty much everything but by the time she left was feeling far more positive. Oh wow! I love sessions like that. Just showing her the emotional reason for over-eating or failure to lose weight was very empowering for her. Plus we did the usual therapy session to relieve the emotional negativity. I feel like we are definitely getting somewhere and it feels wonderful.

A client this afternoon told me that her husband had noticed the difference in her already which was also truly heartening for me. It often takes several sessions to really achieve change so this was a good endictment that our work so far was on the right track.

What a great day. It didn't all go perfectly to plan but 2 achievements in a day is enough to keep anyone going! Bona note amigos

Monday, 2 February 2009

Today is the Fourth Annual Bloggers Silent Poetry Reading. Post your poem, (your own or another's) today.

"Here comes the Sun," The Beatles sang,
I sing, "Here comes the Rain Again."
It washes and pours in torrents and waves,
Sliding down the windscreen, battering my face.
But how I long for the Sun,
Warming, smiling, soothing, smoothing,
It's golden caress
Touching, Easing, Brightening, Healing.
Imagine the heat stroking my skin,
Wrapping me up, a cocoon within,
The deep velvet folds envelop my soul,
But now I'm shut in, embracing the cold.


I can't reveal the source of this poem (I have a confidentiality agreement). I was wondering, what do you see in this poem?

Let it Snow!

Well it's snowing beautifully here. I love snow. But let's face it, the Brits are useless at snow. Well aren't they?

This morning I drove into town and the roads were absolutely clear, about as wet as on a slightly rainy day. Yet there was some idiot who was driving at 20 mph. At 20! I ask you! Just a tiny flurry and the entire country turns into a quaking mushy scaredy mass. Frankly it's embarrassing.

I remember driving down the motorway in Germany in a blizzard, with an inch of snow on the road and it was so cold that the windscreen was icing up because the wipers and the heater couldn't kep it warm enough. We were driving at 40 or 50 and there were cars passing us! Yet when there is an inch of snow on the verge here, we feel the need to slow down to a crawl. No wonder the country comes to a standstill.

I remember in the 1980s being snowed in at home under inches and inches of snow with enormous drifts. Every way out of the village was a hill and we just couldn't get out. We missed days off school that winter because the buses couldn't get to us. I hated living in the back of beyond really but not that winter! And there were other winters that had a few days the same. But now we don't have proper cold winters with proper snow and people just aren't used to it. It's a shame.

Wednesday, 28 January 2009


A very quick post today. The Patchwork Dog has improved it seems. The vet nurse phoned me last night to tell me that her (the dog's!) bloods were improved. She didn't say how much. So the vet is speaking to the specialist (the expensive specialist) to agree a treatment plan. So definately going in the right direction. I thought she seemed better and more lively. And the fur on her belly is starting to grow back too, in wispy little bits - aah!

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Time on Time

Time is a much maligned concept in my opinion. We never have enough of it or it goes too quickly or it won't go fast enough. Time is an easy thing to moan about.

But time is wonderful too. It is a great healer when sometimes distance is all we need. Years ago I fell off a horse and injured my back badly. A year later I was still having treatment and more and more. Each treatment was more invasive than the last until I was booked for some injection under Xray. It didn't go ahead because the doctor had not returned from his holiday in California...

I then moved house and had to start on waiting lists and new doctors etc all over again. Except that I didn't bother. I just ignored my back and over time it healed. I learnt a valuable lesson then - to give the body time to heal. To leave well alone sometimes.

This works for the mind as well. The mind needs time to adjust to changes of any kind. Even many traumas can be healed with time alone. Most soldiers who have been traumatised on operational duties feel fine some months later despite having had high emotions at the time and having had no treatment.

It is something to consider sometimes. Do you really need treatment now or will you feel better in time? Giving yourself and your mind the gift of time can be a wonderful healing strategy.

Monday, 26 January 2009

Ignore the Doom-Mongerers!

My accountant has been muttering darkly about 2009 since November last year. He has been wishing it were over already, wishing it was over before it was begun - doom, gloom, recession blah blah. But I am simply not listening, despite it being poor grammar to begin a sentence with a conjunction! We can create a lot of our own reality and if I think it's going to be a bad year then I fully expect it will be. But if I continue to look for the good times then I am more likely to see the good times when they happen, attract more good times in the future AND have a better year anyway just because I have a more optimistic outlook!

The year has started well for me and I am happily practising from my new rooms. I am continuing to attract clients and I am helping them to enjoy their lives. How could I ask for more?!

An update on the Patchwork Dog... she went for blood tests this morning and I will find out how they are later in the week. She is certainly a lively girl at the moment, was bouncing 2 feet in the air this morning off all 4 paws and she hasn't done that in years.

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Dog Days

Few people ask how I am but so many people are concerned about my poorly sick dog! So given that I have published a photo of Squeaky, here is a photo of Patchwork Dog.

If you look carefully you can see her poor chilly belly, one patch on her neck, one on each foreleg and one on the left hand rear leg. She has another patch on the other side of her neck and these two I think are just starting to grow back.

Poor old girl. She goes back to the vet on Monday and we shall find out then how much she is recovering. She's so pretty and so valuable to me. The story of Patchwork Dog and me is a longer one and I will save it for another time.

It's another "me" post today and I hope you are still following while I take a break from philosophy and therapy. Having said that...

A dog is amazing therapy in itself. If you are feeling low then consider getting a dog. They love you and need you every day, no matter how you look, what you are wearing or how you are feeling. Dogs don't give a damn about all your perceived failures in life. You don't live alone when you have a dog. I cannot recommend them highly enough. They help you to focus outside yourself. If you are depressed and live alone, the introspection often takes over and you can help yourself into a pit. Having an outside focus brings you away from focussing too hard on yourself. And dogs are quiet and non-judgemental. I can honestly say that I have never been into chatting too much to my dogs but many dog owners do and it probably works.

My second best breed of dog after labrador retriever (yellow is the only colour!) ? It has to be the Border Terrier. Sound, good-natured little dogs. Trainable, small and clean with loads of personality.

Lets hear it for dogs!

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

To err is human - my Angel story

"...and to forgive is divine" Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. We can't always forgive in reality can we? It's just not as easy as all that. So what I do is to distance myself. Then if I choose to step into the emotional space between me and a person whom I find it difficult to forgive entirely, then I am going in on my own terms. And those terms can usually mean that the error/misjudgement/deep penetrating hurt can be ignored, for that emotional transaction at least.

It's just an idea that I explored with a client this week. Perhaps it's worth trying.

I promised on a comment on the Majority of Two blog that I would write my angel story.

Some years ago I lived in Cyprus and I hated it there. I was very unhappy, far away from friends and family, my job was a tedious round of long hours whilst my companions were out playing in the sunshine, learning to scuba dive and sail. The job was ok but not how I thought it would be and the sheer volume of work was stressful. I hated where I lived and there was no immediate end to it either.

One morning I had to drive to Nicosia to take my car to a garage for a modification. There is one motorway in Cyprus, a 2 lane fast tarmac road. With a speed limit of 60mph, AARRGGHH! So I was in my new car, an Audi A3 and I enjoyed driving it fast. For fear of traffic cops I only took it to about 70. And as I came around a corner, there he was and I knew I was caught.

He was fairly nice really. Who was I? Where was I going? He realised very quickly that I wasn't a tourist and perhaps the thought of the extra paperwork for copping a Brit was too much for him. He let me off. I was very apologetic, I wouldn't do it again.

5 hours later I was on my way back to the southern end of the island. And was I driving above 60? Of course I was. I tried m'Lud, I really did but it just didn't happen...

As I rounded a different corner there was an entire posse of Police. My heart dropped like a stone. No way could I get off twice in one day, even if these ones didn't know what had happened earlier. The policeman was very nice. He leant down to look me in the eyes through the window. He asked if I lived here. Yes I'm British Forces, from Akrotiri. A long pause.

And as he stared straight into my eyes, "Why do you drive so fast? What are you running from?" Time stood still. Oh how I wished I didn't have the longest answer to that question. I felt like he could see into my soul.

He let me drive away without a ticket. When I told the story to a friend later, her eyes nearly popped out of her skull, "You met an Angel Helen. I wish I could meet an angel." I hadn't particularly believed in angels but I started to wonder.

A few years ago a friend told me she was an angel. Oh yeah, right! And then she explained that we are all angels. When we have realised who we are and the light has come on and is shining, that's when it becomes apparent. And we will know others when we meet them. There is more to this than you might think initially. It's something to just take in gently and let the seed germinate. When you need it again, the knowledge will be there.

Let your light shine.

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Success and Failure

Well it's been a funny day or two. I saw my weight loss client today. She is a funny mix of contradictions. I alsways have to aske her the same question twice in different manners because each time the answer is different. She is doing well in my view but on a scale of one to ten she only thinks her progress is a 5 out of 10. So much for my opinions then! She's happy anyhow, a BIG thing for her, because she has been very low and depressed. Before Christmas she got into a dip that I was worried might turn into a huge trough. But is hasn't. Woo Hoo!

So today, for the first time, my lady was not wearing black. I thought it a huge step forward. She had barely noticed and laughed. She also laughed at how excited I was when she told me how good she was feeling. I don't care, I love it.

So where's the bad news then? Well my stop smoking client from last week has gone to pieces according to her sister, can't even get out of the house and is smoking again. Now this is a tough one, really tough. If she can't get to see me then how can I help? I am loathe at the moment to offer to visit. I cannot be all things to everyone, yet I want to help, of course I do. I am suspecting a big guilt trip although I may be wrong. The lady is pregnant and her last baby suffered because she smoked through pregnancy. Hence coming to me to help her stop.

Now is she terrified because she has already failed and she is now putting her baby at risk? Is she worried about the baby? Is she just hormonally and emotionally pregnant? She is apparently an emotional wreck! ANd has gone back to cigarettes, back to the toxic friend that she knows and loves, who makes her feel better. And yet the cigarette friend doesn't make her feel better, no he makes her feel worse. So the family are blaming me. Oh good... It isn't cheap to give up smoking with hypnosis but you can save that money you spent in about a month with what you save on cigarettes. This lady is not well off, quite the opposite. I so want to help her but my messages go unanaswered. What can I do?

So some highs and lows today. Now it's time for another high - taking my beloved out. Going out in the week, how decadent! NO, you fools, taking the dog out for a walk! Oops, Patchwork Dog heard me from her slumber behind my chair and has leapt up with the energy of a coiled spring. Well she looked up and stretched anyway. I mustn't tease her, she is poorly sick after all...

Monday, 19 January 2009

For the Journey

There is a huge hooha in America about the inauguration of Barack Obama. I know I am not alone in wondering about all the fuss. there is some train journey for a start. What is it all about? Why all the expense when many Americans can't afford healthcare?

Don't get me wrong, I am overjoyed that there is a black president. I find it inconceivable that it was only a few years before I was born that there was segregation in America. Around the time I was born, my father was in the RAF and my parents were renting an apartment in Oxfordshire. It was the late sixties, people were still relatively poor, there was a shared bathroom, shared with the occupants of another apartment.

My mother had an American friend at the time, her husband was in the USAF. Her name was Bonnie and she was a southern belle. She confided to my mother, "Oh but Ann, you can't live here." My mother thought it was because the flat was down at heel. "But the bathroom Ann. They're black!" My mother's neighbours, who shared the bathroom were black Americans.

Are you as shocked as I was?

The journey we as a society has come on since then is pleasing in many ways. And we are all on journeys. I often help my clients with NLP work. It is like programming for the brain. We often give the mind a vision of the better future they want, with their goals fulfilled. It helps because it gives the mind a destination to aim for. We can sit down and decide we want to go on holiday but until we know where we want to go, how are we to find our way there? If we don't know whether we are going to Bognor or Barbados, how will we know whether to go to the railway station or to the airport?

I explained this to a client today who told me that we could forget the highway to happiness because for her entire life she hadn't even been on the map! It was a funny moment, not a sad one. This lady is learning a lot, she's coming along for the ride, the journey of change.

I am conscious that yesterday's post was a little "me" orientated. That was not the intention of this blog when I started so I hope I have given you a bit more interest today. Happy travels.

Sunday, 18 January 2009


Today was a priceless day. It was a family day.

It started with my small boy coming into bed with us while he drank his milk and we had our tea. After getting dressed we all had our breakfast together. Hubby and I had Shreddies (you see, all you Americans, we don't all eat toast...) and Squeaky had "Stones." It's an oat cereal and he thinks it looks like little stones - it does. SO he calls them stones. Squeaky loves stones, loves playing with them, stacking them, finding them, bringing them home...

So after breakfast he goes out to take our sickly labrador for a walk with his daddy. Sick dog is much better, far bouncier and continuing to take her medication well and eating like a labrador! She is still a patchwork dog - covered in shaved spots where she had drips and had to have blood taken. Her tummy was completely shaved for her ultrasound poor thing.

We then went on a treat to the swimming pool. Squeaky has been swimming since he was 3 or 4 months old. He doesn't quite swim yet. Some 2 year olds can. But he loves it and we had a great time. And then a FAB family treat - the Zoo!

I'm not terribly into animals in zoos, I have to be quite honest, but the hubby is, only because it is a treat, a family time. Small children like seeing animals, it appeals to them in some way. Later at home, he managed to remember some of the animals he saw. It's a hard task for someone who can only just talk. We ate chips and biscuits in the cafe - junk food not healthy snacks. This was a TREAT remember!

And how priceless was our day? I hope I remember days like today. It frightens me that I may not. My small person had a lovely time. He was with his mummy and daddy enjoying life, being taken care of, being loved. Maybe later in life he will tell me he doesn't like swimming and zoos. But today he did and that's enough for me.
One or two of you may enjoy this photo. It's a little while ago now but it shows Squeaky continuing his rugby training even while on holiday. He is VERY dedicated!

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

The Tilting Universe

I would like you to read this blog entry. It is written by a lady called Jo, who is Canadian and her blog is called Majority of Two. She writes beautifully and it is a lovely blog. See what you think.


Yes the universe does tilt on a sixpence and our own small parts in it can be affected by tiny chance events. Almost 20 years ago, an acquaintance said something which clinched my decision to join the Army. She was just talking about why she was joining herself, not trying to convince me, just chatting. We were sitting on a windy hill by a range flag in the September of 1991. Just a few chance remarks by a relatively insignificant person changed my life.

The direction it has taken since then has led me to the place I am now, following my life's work, feeding my soul, married to my soulmate, bringing up our wonderful son.

The name of this individual was Rebecca Taylor. We were acquainted for some years after but I don't think she had any idea of how important she was/is in my life. Becks, if by any chance you are reading then I thank you. And the people I have touched in my life thank you too.

Tuesday, 13 January 2009


So there are one or two followers out there hmm? Well show yourselves won't you? Write a comment or two. Where are you coming from? What do you think? Tell me a little.

Let me tell you a bit more about my days.

Today I helped a lady to stop smoking. Happily I helped her to bond with her unborn baby too. She went away very happy. In just 2 hours I have helped 5 lives. The first two are the woman and the baby. The others are her other 3 children. That family is now healthier and have more money. That baby is potentially healthier than it would have been had the mother kept on smoking. And those benefits last through all their lives - more money, better health. You can't argue with that.

My client yesterday told me how she could just see in me that I loved what I do. So it shows on the outside as well. Even though at that point I had told her nothing about myself she could sense the contentment. How many of us are really doing what makes us truly happy? Doing what makes us happy is following our true path in life, following our higher purpose. Using our real skills to make our way in life is following our higher purpose, what our soul set out to achieve. When we follow our soul's path, we are happy inside, our soul is nourished.

I love my clients. Every one of them is so different, with such differing backgrounds and histories and outlooks. They are such wonderful, unique people. And so interesting. One of them was in the film industry. Ooh, how glamorous! No, not really as I found out! And all the glamorous jobs are just like that too - not so fantastic at all.

So follow your heart, follow your soul. Whatever it is that you do well is a good place to start. And if that thing isn't a money-spinner then do it when you are not working for money. You will be surprised at how things work out. And if you keep following your instincts you are following your soul's path. And that way leads to contentment.


So there are one or two followers out there hmm? Well show yourselves won't you

Monday, 12 January 2009

It's still changing

You see change is not just in the air, it is everywhere. It is in us and around us, it permeates our cells.

There is a huge shift going on in the universe at the moment. And we have to shift within it. Can't you feel it? Don't you perceive it? Don't dig in your heels and try to resist it - that will hurt. Think you can stop a tidal wave? Go right ahead and try but it won't be pretty.

I can feel the change. I can feel it inside me. My own small world is also changing within the wider shift. And it's pointless to resist it. Is your life shifting? If you sit still for a moment can you feel the winds? Where are they taking us?

I have to mention that I am surprised but people are actually reading my ramblings. The blog tells me that there are no followers but one or two of you are sneakily out there. I hope you are enjoying it so far. Such pressure on me to write something interesting all the time!

Let me tell you about my job today. A client asked how long I had been doing this. She said she could see I loved it. And how? All we had done was to talk about her. I hadn't even put in any huge effort at this stage. Yes I do love it. I miss the Army too, missing it more the further it goes away from me. But how could I not love hypnotherapy? I help people to enjoy their lives.

The people who come to see me are in pain, mental pain. And that pain is preventing them from enjoying their life. Imagine walking a mile with a stone in your shoe. Ouch! The pain in your foot leads to the source of the pain - the stone. Remove the stone and you can enjoy walking again, free from pain. I help you to remove the stone. I help you to enjoy your life.

For those who are wondering, and those who have asked, my dog is improving every day thanks! She is a bouncing bundle of fun again Perhaps she will never be completely well but she is good and happy. And so are we!

Thursday, 8 January 2009

Change and change again

What did I say earlier? Change is in the air. But it IS in the air. Change is all around us, for every one of us. It is no coincidence that the financial markets have had their upheaval. It is no surprise that all around us people's lives are changing - repossessions, job losses.

But it is only change. It doesn't have to be disaster. Life might be crap for a while but it won't be terrible for ever unless you let it. And that is the key. Storms come and go, they don't last. And we don't remain in the huddle of shelter after the rain has gone. When we go through a tough time in life, it is natural to curl up, withdraw into ourselves, it is healing, we are tired. The brain needs time to take it all in and change if necessary. But if after the acute stress is over we stay curled up and withdrawn then we are sheltering from a storm that has passed. And we risk never coming out to see the blue sky.

Fire is a natural phenomena and it leaves destruction. But fire also cleanses. It leaves behind clean and open areas, ripe for new growth. The old and diseased and choked up wilderness has gone. Fire in nature is not a mistake, it is a part of the circle of life.

This week, the parents of a friend of mine lost their house to a fire. The farmhouse on their land was burnt to the ground. Nothing remains, not one thing. But they are here, they have their land which they farm and they have each other. I would be desperately upset if I were them, traumatised even. But not for ever.

I have a friend whose husband died on the same day that their second child was born. She doesn't cry every day. She's changed. She has made friends she didn't knew she had. And recently she went on a journey to Australia to see about building a new life over there. And she was surprised to learn about how much she has right here. So she's staying. The fire cleansed, leaving something else growing. Something that my friend was not expecting, had no clue about. But she recognised the need to climb out of the cave, the need to look about and search for the blue sky. Don't think that she is a Pollyanna wonder woman who is now perfectly happy without her husband. Of course she misses him terribly. But to hide herself away from blue skies and sunshine would feel so much worse.

You can stay miserable or you can take steps to look for some tiny good things in life. And as soon as you start looking, you will see them. The couple with the burnt down house have their family around them, no one was harmed and what better thing in life is that? The more you see tiny good things, the more those things expand and grow until they take over your life. And one day you forgetto be sad. And you don't realsie for a short while until you remember that you were supposed to be sad but you weren't today. And it is a surprise, a shock even.

No one knows where or when the better days are. But they are there. If you dare to notice them.

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Weight Loss with Hypnosis

I am conscious that this Blog has not explored Hypnotherapy as much as it should so far.

I don't have much time this evening but I will go into more depth later on. But today was a fab day frankly. A client who I am seeing for weight loss came in. She was bemoaning the way she had eaten too much over Christmas and been slobbing in front of the telly. She felt fat and guilty and had put weight on.

But she had cut her alcohol intake, she was following my weight loss rules (it's not a diet, it's a way of living) and her activity level had increased dramatically. And all without her even noticing. She was feeling cheerful and energetic.

And when I probed further, she had lost weight - 12lb in the 5 weeks since she first came to see me. How good is that?! It's not so hard this job, but the rewards, the rewards are pure gold!