To err is human - my Angel story

"...and to forgive is divine" Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. We can't always forgive in reality can we? It's just not as easy as all that. So what I do is to distance myself. Then if I choose to step into the emotional space between me and a person whom I find it difficult to forgive entirely, then I am going in on my own terms. And those terms can usually mean that the error/misjudgement/deep penetrating hurt can be ignored, for that emotional transaction at least.

It's just an idea that I explored with a client this week. Perhaps it's worth trying.

I promised on a comment on the Majority of Two blog that I would write my angel story.

Some years ago I lived in Cyprus and I hated it there. I was very unhappy, far away from friends and family, my job was a tedious round of long hours whilst my companions were out playing in the sunshine, learning to scuba dive and sail. The job was ok but not how I thought it would be and the sheer volume of work was stressful. I hated where I lived and there was no immediate end to it either.

One morning I had to drive to Nicosia to take my car to a garage for a modification. There is one motorway in Cyprus, a 2 lane fast tarmac road. With a speed limit of 60mph, AARRGGHH! So I was in my new car, an Audi A3 and I enjoyed driving it fast. For fear of traffic cops I only took it to about 70. And as I came around a corner, there he was and I knew I was caught.

He was fairly nice really. Who was I? Where was I going? He realised very quickly that I wasn't a tourist and perhaps the thought of the extra paperwork for copping a Brit was too much for him. He let me off. I was very apologetic, I wouldn't do it again.

5 hours later I was on my way back to the southern end of the island. And was I driving above 60? Of course I was. I tried m'Lud, I really did but it just didn't happen...

As I rounded a different corner there was an entire posse of Police. My heart dropped like a stone. No way could I get off twice in one day, even if these ones didn't know what had happened earlier. The policeman was very nice. He leant down to look me in the eyes through the window. He asked if I lived here. Yes I'm British Forces, from Akrotiri. A long pause.

And as he stared straight into my eyes, "Why do you drive so fast? What are you running from?" Time stood still. Oh how I wished I didn't have the longest answer to that question. I felt like he could see into my soul.

He let me drive away without a ticket. When I told the story to a friend later, her eyes nearly popped out of her skull, "You met an Angel Helen. I wish I could meet an angel." I hadn't particularly believed in angels but I started to wonder.

A few years ago a friend told me she was an angel. Oh yeah, right! And then she explained that we are all angels. When we have realised who we are and the light has come on and is shining, that's when it becomes apparent. And we will know others when we meet them. There is more to this than you might think initially. It's something to just take in gently and let the seed germinate. When you need it again, the knowledge will be there.

Let your light shine.