On 29 December 2008 I wrote,
"You know that your pet is going to die before you do. You absolutely know it but to be faced with it suddenly was not funny. I really didn't think she was coming home again. And every moment with her now is a bonus, every walk is precious."
And yes it was precious, but my beautiful Patchwork Dog has gone now. A week ago we went for a walk in the morning, had our breakfast together and mooched about the house all day. At tea time, she was poorly, not eating - unheard of! Then 2 trips to the vet, a night sat up with her and she was gone. My beautiful princess dog had had to go, the old clothes not working any more, at the end of their given life.
It is VERY VERY hard. We had 20 months of her, when she had been kept alive with the skill of the vets and her medications. She'd been slowing down over the last 6 months though, almost imperceptibly winding down slowly.
Personally I have never known grief quite like this. I am a big dog lover but have never been through this before and it has thrown me. In a post a long time ago, when we knew she was sick, I promised to tell the story of the patchwork dog and me. Not right now, it is too sad but one day. In the mean time, if you want more of the story, if you click on the post labels for Dogs to the Left of the page you'll get a bit more about my dog and me, and a picture of two.
RIP Tilly 17 June 1998 to 30 September 2010.
I wonder what she was doing on Millenium Eve....?
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I'm not a 'doggie person' but can completely identify with your sense of loss. As children my sister and I had pet budgies, and a pet rabbit. Each pet has its own character and leaves a hole in your life when it's gone. As you say, you know they won't outlive you and yet the shock is still the same. Tilly was a very fortunate dog to have such a caring family.
ReplyDeleteJudith, I can't begin to explain how horrible it is without her. We have always been a dog family and not having one feels terribly wrong. It is truly an awful thing to go through. Thanks for your words
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