I saw the most delightful client yesterday who has just come to the end of her sessions with me. It prompted me to reflect on my client base over the past few years and I realised that some of my most rewarding clients have been ladies in their seventies. Now this was not quite what I was expecting, in fact my target market isn't this demographic, but I have been so surprised with these ladies.
There have been 3 of them, and all have been wonderful, accomplished, fascinating individuals. Whilst working with them I have been privileged to learn about their lives and what they have been through. All 3 went through the war in London and Essex and this has shaped them fundamentally, life really was different in those days. And the ways in which life was different has been the reason they turned out like they did and able to do so much, so talented and able. I bet they could turn their hands to anything you suggested.
I almost feel a pang when clients like these come to the end of their time with me but they can't rely on me forever and once our work is done, a client has to learn to go it alone. Maybe slowly at first but confidence will increase and the work we have done sows the seeds for improvement that continues long after our sessions finish.
Today I salute my amazing clients and the work they have done and I feel enriched for having known them.
I suppose we have to notice all that is around us and drink in the opportunities provided. All our experiences teach us something, or show us something we may not have noticed if we don't take the time to notice and reflect. This isn't to say we should go around contemplating ourselves and navel-gazing constantly! It's about mindfulness, and really seeing and experiencing rather than drifting. If I had turned my ladies away because they didn't belong to my ideal theoretical client group, I would not have learned what I did and truly I feel better for it.
A happy and fulfilled Helen is about to press the "Submit" button! Enjoy your day, I hope it is as good as mine has been.
Friday, 27 January 2012
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Brain training - banish negativity to get results
January is a good time for new beginnings, as is Spring/Easter and also, maybe surprisingly, September.
I have a lot of enquiries at the moment regarding stopping smoking and weight loss. Have any of you watched the programme on Sky1 called, "Obese - a Year to Change My Life" ? (Stay with me, it IS relevant!
If not, here is a link to watch it on your computer:
http://sky1.sky.com/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life-announced">
Many people who are giving something up talk a lot about loss - LOSING weight, GIVING UP smoking, QUITTING etc
Yet the words we use to ourselves and others can be incredibly powerful. Have you noticed how negative those words above are? Many of us have been through plenty of losses and grieving in our lives already, why would we want to lose anything else? Why would we want to quit at anything?
For this reason we have to focus on what we WANT, focus on our goals, focus on the end result. In these cases being healthy, non-smoking, slim people. In that way, we end up looking at what we can gain, not what we have to give up to get there.
Try this one simple thing if you are overweight. Don't put up a picture on the fridge of you at your heaviest in order to shock yourself into keeping away from the fatty snacks. That will perpetuate your vision of yourself as an overweight person. Put up a picture of you being slim or of someone else whose body you could aspire to. Maybe cut out your face and put it on the slim body. You will be surprised how effective this is.
Nothing difficult - just brain training. More on this in another blog post.
I have a lot of enquiries at the moment regarding stopping smoking and weight loss. Have any of you watched the programme on Sky1 called, "Obese - a Year to Change My Life" ? (Stay with me, it IS relevant!
If not, here is a link to watch it on your computer:
http://sky1.sky.com/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life-announced">
Many people who are giving something up talk a lot about loss - LOSING weight, GIVING UP smoking, QUITTING etc
Yet the words we use to ourselves and others can be incredibly powerful. Have you noticed how negative those words above are? Many of us have been through plenty of losses and grieving in our lives already, why would we want to lose anything else? Why would we want to quit at anything?
For this reason we have to focus on what we WANT, focus on our goals, focus on the end result. In these cases being healthy, non-smoking, slim people. In that way, we end up looking at what we can gain, not what we have to give up to get there.
Try this one simple thing if you are overweight. Don't put up a picture on the fridge of you at your heaviest in order to shock yourself into keeping away from the fatty snacks. That will perpetuate your vision of yourself as an overweight person. Put up a picture of you being slim or of someone else whose body you could aspire to. Maybe cut out your face and put it on the slim body. You will be surprised how effective this is.
Nothing difficult - just brain training. More on this in another blog post.
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Remembrance
Have you noticed how Remembrance is assuming ever more importance in our lives over the past 5 or 10 years?
It has always been part of my life, my father was in the RAF and then I became an Army Officer in 1992. There was never a year that I did not attend a service or a parade. It does feel that there is a great deal more interest now though. Is it more part of the collective conscious now? We are 2 Gulf wars down and have suffered an appalling loss of life in a short time in Afghanistan. There is now far more publicity for the Armed Forces since they have come out of the shadows imposed by the prolonged deployment in Northern Ireland and the security issues it demanded.
When I was a young officer we had to check our cars for bombs every time we got into them; we never wore uniform in public; we never told anyone we met what we did, we made up stories about our backgrounds. And Remembrance was something for other people. Now it seems, we are VERY interested in it, people are falling over themselves to pay their respects.
I think the fact that the last of our servicemen from the First World War are dead, makes up want to hang on that bit more. A sense of spoken history is almost gone. If we haven't written down or otherwise recorded these people's stories by now then we never will and it's lost forever.
Deployments in war zones can leave mental scars. It is estimated that as many as 10% of servicemen suffer from long term effects of operational tours. It's easy to be empathetic to someone who has lost a limb or an eye but very many injuries are invisible. There are so many interventions that can help with mental trauma and PTSD. We have fantastic treatments like hypnotherapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming) that can make a massive difference to people's lives if only they knew how to access them. At this year's Remembrance service I will be specifically thinking of those who need mental help.
One last thought... We know all about the Gulf wars; we respect those servicemen remaining from the two World Wars; the Afghanistan deployment is constantly in the public eye; no one over the age of 15 can be ignorant of the struggle in Northern Ireland. Who has remembered those who suffered in a very grim war in the Falklands?
It has always been part of my life, my father was in the RAF and then I became an Army Officer in 1992. There was never a year that I did not attend a service or a parade. It does feel that there is a great deal more interest now though. Is it more part of the collective conscious now? We are 2 Gulf wars down and have suffered an appalling loss of life in a short time in Afghanistan. There is now far more publicity for the Armed Forces since they have come out of the shadows imposed by the prolonged deployment in Northern Ireland and the security issues it demanded.
When I was a young officer we had to check our cars for bombs every time we got into them; we never wore uniform in public; we never told anyone we met what we did, we made up stories about our backgrounds. And Remembrance was something for other people. Now it seems, we are VERY interested in it, people are falling over themselves to pay their respects.
I think the fact that the last of our servicemen from the First World War are dead, makes up want to hang on that bit more. A sense of spoken history is almost gone. If we haven't written down or otherwise recorded these people's stories by now then we never will and it's lost forever.
Deployments in war zones can leave mental scars. It is estimated that as many as 10% of servicemen suffer from long term effects of operational tours. It's easy to be empathetic to someone who has lost a limb or an eye but very many injuries are invisible. There are so many interventions that can help with mental trauma and PTSD. We have fantastic treatments like hypnotherapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming) that can make a massive difference to people's lives if only they knew how to access them. At this year's Remembrance service I will be specifically thinking of those who need mental help.
One last thought... We know all about the Gulf wars; we respect those servicemen remaining from the two World Wars; the Afghanistan deployment is constantly in the public eye; no one over the age of 15 can be ignorant of the struggle in Northern Ireland. Who has remembered those who suffered in a very grim war in the Falklands?
Friday, 7 October 2011
The Joy of Small Things
It’s well into Autumn now and sometimes it can be hard to remember the warm(ish) days of summer and those long evenings. As the days grow shorter and colder and literally close in, very many people feel unsettled and low at this time of year. Autumn often heralds the start of low mood and mild depression and doctors have recognised this and called it Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. It is thought to be linked to the lack of sunlight and it can be hugely improved by spending time outdoors or by investing in 15 minutes a day in front of a light box!
SAD or not, most of us could benefit from investing 15 minutes a day on nurturing ourselves. It is easy to start the gradual slide into a mild depression. It is easy to allow stressful events in our lives or an overload at work to engulf and overcome us. Sometimes life just throws the worst of situations at us and there is nothing we can do except to get on and go through it until things improve. But we do not have to slide down the slippery slope.
It would be easy to say that if we look on the bright side, count our blessings every day and meditate on flood victims and starving children that we would feel better about our lot. Yet such a Pollyanna strategy could as easily irritate. After all, there’s always someone better off than us and someone worse off, it doesn’t ultimately help our own self right now. The Buddhists, Zen masters and Taoists have a more realistic way of living; they practice “mindfulness.”
Mindfulness refers to being completely in touch with and aware of the present moment, as well as being non-judgemental to your inner thoughts or your experience at that moment in time. It is very much about accepting things as they are right at that moment and not analysing or evaluating your thoughts, just noticing them. It is gaining ground as a way of alleviating depression, anxiety and even post traumatic stress disorder. I talk to my stressed and depressed clients about mindfulness and about finding the joy in small things. It is far easier to notice small beauties than it is to force yourself into thinking that your life is perfectly fine when the reality is that you are going through a complete nightmare!
So if things are all too much, if it feels impossible to be thankful, if you can’t see the wood for the trees then focus in on the very small things that ARE ok, if only in that very moment. Noticing the beauty in a ray of sunshine across your kitchen worktop; seeing a vivid and beautiful colour; hearing an exquisite piece of music; finding a conker that sits perfectly in your hand; feeling the tingling spray from a shower in the morning. Just noticing, paying attention to, being mindful of tiny things at that very moment in time can be enough beauty and joy to help you through the day. We all have a basic human need for beauty and joy, to keep us content, to keep our mood elevated, raise the feel-good chemicals in the brain. If we can do this daily, even for a short moment, it will pay off in the longer term.
We can accept our thoughts for what they are; we can notice how we may feel overwhelmed, rattled, angry, sad. They are thoughts, at that moment, not a great predictor of the future to come, nor an analysis of the past, only the thought of a moment. After that thought comes another thought and we can experience it without dwelling on it or judging it. And if we practise noticing any moments or experiences of joy or beauty that occur, then how much more comfortable does this feel than allowing ourselves only the feelings of sadness. Try it, I promise it helps.
SAD or not, most of us could benefit from investing 15 minutes a day on nurturing ourselves. It is easy to start the gradual slide into a mild depression. It is easy to allow stressful events in our lives or an overload at work to engulf and overcome us. Sometimes life just throws the worst of situations at us and there is nothing we can do except to get on and go through it until things improve. But we do not have to slide down the slippery slope.
It would be easy to say that if we look on the bright side, count our blessings every day and meditate on flood victims and starving children that we would feel better about our lot. Yet such a Pollyanna strategy could as easily irritate. After all, there’s always someone better off than us and someone worse off, it doesn’t ultimately help our own self right now. The Buddhists, Zen masters and Taoists have a more realistic way of living; they practice “mindfulness.”
Mindfulness refers to being completely in touch with and aware of the present moment, as well as being non-judgemental to your inner thoughts or your experience at that moment in time. It is very much about accepting things as they are right at that moment and not analysing or evaluating your thoughts, just noticing them. It is gaining ground as a way of alleviating depression, anxiety and even post traumatic stress disorder. I talk to my stressed and depressed clients about mindfulness and about finding the joy in small things. It is far easier to notice small beauties than it is to force yourself into thinking that your life is perfectly fine when the reality is that you are going through a complete nightmare!
So if things are all too much, if it feels impossible to be thankful, if you can’t see the wood for the trees then focus in on the very small things that ARE ok, if only in that very moment. Noticing the beauty in a ray of sunshine across your kitchen worktop; seeing a vivid and beautiful colour; hearing an exquisite piece of music; finding a conker that sits perfectly in your hand; feeling the tingling spray from a shower in the morning. Just noticing, paying attention to, being mindful of tiny things at that very moment in time can be enough beauty and joy to help you through the day. We all have a basic human need for beauty and joy, to keep us content, to keep our mood elevated, raise the feel-good chemicals in the brain. If we can do this daily, even for a short moment, it will pay off in the longer term.
We can accept our thoughts for what they are; we can notice how we may feel overwhelmed, rattled, angry, sad. They are thoughts, at that moment, not a great predictor of the future to come, nor an analysis of the past, only the thought of a moment. After that thought comes another thought and we can experience it without dwelling on it or judging it. And if we practise noticing any moments or experiences of joy or beauty that occur, then how much more comfortable does this feel than allowing ourselves only the feelings of sadness. Try it, I promise it helps.
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Hypnobirthing - Hypnosis for Birth
I recently took a couple through the whole hypnosis training for childbirth. They were a delightful couple and the baby should be making an appearance in the world very soon.
What shocked me was that they had to travel from London to Northamptonshire to find a class! The birth classes in London were booked up for 4 months ahead.
There is an easy solution to that! Either get on an intercity and come to the peaceful Northamptonshire countryside, or if your feet are stuck in the city - many Londoners' are! - then I will come to north London to run a class for you. I have a room in West Hampstead which is perfect for the job. Just 3 Saturday mornings is all we need for me to teach you how to use your own abilities to manage pain, manage labour, birth your baby calmly and comfortably and really have a great birth experience.
Sounds simple? It IS!!!
What shocked me was that they had to travel from London to Northamptonshire to find a class! The birth classes in London were booked up for 4 months ahead.
There is an easy solution to that! Either get on an intercity and come to the peaceful Northamptonshire countryside, or if your feet are stuck in the city - many Londoners' are! - then I will come to north London to run a class for you. I have a room in West Hampstead which is perfect for the job. Just 3 Saturday mornings is all we need for me to teach you how to use your own abilities to manage pain, manage labour, birth your baby calmly and comfortably and really have a great birth experience.
Sounds simple? It IS!!!
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Very busy at HMcH HQ
Lots of Hs (aitches) involved there! But it seems like abbreviating things is the only way to get through all I have to do these days.
The phone has been red hot over the past fortnight and I have clients desperate to see me. So much so that it's tough to fit them all in. Tempting to book my son into a few more after school club sessions so I can accommodate them. But in a week where UNICEF has published a report condemning the British way of life for not giving our children enough of ourselves and our time, it's kind of put me off.
One thing that is not being abbreviated is my fitness sessions. My gym session with a trainer this week was so hard that I had the jelly legs and the flashbacks to my very first training session at my first unit in Germany. It was the fittest unit in the Garrison. The other subalterns had looked at me with pity when I told them which company I was joining. I was the only girl... And I was desperate after only the warm up! What a shock being thrown into circuit training with these fit young men, I couldn't quite believe how fast they were, how strong. I was a minnow in comparison. 12 years later I was diagnosed with asthma! What a laugh.
I could write something really clever now about mental toughness and how to develop it; about how to look on the surface as if nothing is a problem when all the time you are peddling like mad just to keep afloat; and about how EVERYONE is far more nervous and unsure of themselves than they look. I could write about how many of those incredible, tough, fit young men ended up crying on my shoulder. And then I could write about how many of my phone calls this week were from young men who get anxious and blush in meetings, presentations and interviews.
So what am I really saying here? That everyone gets anxious and nervous, everyone has at some time or other been tongue tied and that everyone just acts it out when they need to. So if you need to pretend, then do so. And if you get tongue tied, the person listening will have been in exactly the same place, and more than once. We're all human, all of us, all of the time.
The phone has been red hot over the past fortnight and I have clients desperate to see me. So much so that it's tough to fit them all in. Tempting to book my son into a few more after school club sessions so I can accommodate them. But in a week where UNICEF has published a report condemning the British way of life for not giving our children enough of ourselves and our time, it's kind of put me off.
One thing that is not being abbreviated is my fitness sessions. My gym session with a trainer this week was so hard that I had the jelly legs and the flashbacks to my very first training session at my first unit in Germany. It was the fittest unit in the Garrison. The other subalterns had looked at me with pity when I told them which company I was joining. I was the only girl... And I was desperate after only the warm up! What a shock being thrown into circuit training with these fit young men, I couldn't quite believe how fast they were, how strong. I was a minnow in comparison. 12 years later I was diagnosed with asthma! What a laugh.
I could write something really clever now about mental toughness and how to develop it; about how to look on the surface as if nothing is a problem when all the time you are peddling like mad just to keep afloat; and about how EVERYONE is far more nervous and unsure of themselves than they look. I could write about how many of those incredible, tough, fit young men ended up crying on my shoulder. And then I could write about how many of my phone calls this week were from young men who get anxious and blush in meetings, presentations and interviews.
So what am I really saying here? That everyone gets anxious and nervous, everyone has at some time or other been tongue tied and that everyone just acts it out when they need to. So if you need to pretend, then do so. And if you get tongue tied, the person listening will have been in exactly the same place, and more than once. We're all human, all of us, all of the time.
Monday, 4 July 2011
Hypnosis Lowers Blood Pressure and Assists Surgery Success
Yet another reminder of how hypnosis helps with surgery AND with lowering blood pressure, but very close to home this time.
My husband had major abdominal surgery in November last year and unfortunately had to have the same operation again a week ago. Knowing how poorly he had been and how hard the recovery was, this time he decided to invest some time in preparing himself for the surgery, something he had not done last time.
The first challenge was to get through the pre-op assessment. He was sent home from it after his blood pressure was found to be too high, rendering him unsuitable for surgery! He spent the weekend trying to lower it to no avail. Admitting defeat, he lay back in my chair as I spoke to him for 14 minutes. His blood pressure reduced by 20 points systolic and over 20 points diastolic. This reading prevailed, meaning that he WAS able to go for his operation.
We also did some pre-op hypnosis, getting his body and mind into the right shape for recovery, no bleeding, increased comfort post-op etc. He came out of the surgery in far better shape than the previous operation, with considerably reduced pain. Everything has been far easier for him than the last time and he was able to return home quickly. One major improvement has been his ability to eat, which has also progressed a lot quicker than last time. He is up and about, feeling a lot better than he was expecting and able to eat more solid food, which is aiding his recovery.
I have the same hypnotherapy sessions on CD that I used for my husband - lowering blood pressure and pre- and post- op. Contact me if you'd like them via my website http://www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk
My husband had major abdominal surgery in November last year and unfortunately had to have the same operation again a week ago. Knowing how poorly he had been and how hard the recovery was, this time he decided to invest some time in preparing himself for the surgery, something he had not done last time.
The first challenge was to get through the pre-op assessment. He was sent home from it after his blood pressure was found to be too high, rendering him unsuitable for surgery! He spent the weekend trying to lower it to no avail. Admitting defeat, he lay back in my chair as I spoke to him for 14 minutes. His blood pressure reduced by 20 points systolic and over 20 points diastolic. This reading prevailed, meaning that he WAS able to go for his operation.
We also did some pre-op hypnosis, getting his body and mind into the right shape for recovery, no bleeding, increased comfort post-op etc. He came out of the surgery in far better shape than the previous operation, with considerably reduced pain. Everything has been far easier for him than the last time and he was able to return home quickly. One major improvement has been his ability to eat, which has also progressed a lot quicker than last time. He is up and about, feeling a lot better than he was expecting and able to eat more solid food, which is aiding his recovery.
I have the same hypnotherapy sessions on CD that I used for my husband - lowering blood pressure and pre- and post- op. Contact me if you'd like them via my website http://www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk
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