Very busy at HMcH HQ

Lots of Hs (aitches) involved there! But it seems like abbreviating things is the only way to get through all I have to do these days.

The phone has been red hot over the past fortnight and I have clients desperate to see me. So much so that it's tough to fit them all in. Tempting to book my son into a few more after school club sessions so I can accommodate them. But in a week where UNICEF has published a report condemning the British way of life for not giving our children enough of ourselves and our time, it's kind of put me off.

One thing that is not being abbreviated is my fitness sessions. My gym session with a trainer this week was so hard that I had the jelly legs and the flashbacks to my very first training session at my first unit in Germany. It was the fittest unit in the Garrison. The other subalterns had looked at me with pity when I told them which company I was joining. I was the only girl... And I was desperate after only the warm up! What a shock being thrown into circuit training with these fit young men, I couldn't quite believe how fast they were, how strong. I was a minnow in comparison. 12 years later I was diagnosed with asthma! What a laugh.

I could write something really clever now about mental toughness and how to develop it; about how to look on the surface as if nothing is a problem when all the time you are peddling like mad just to keep afloat; and about how EVERYONE is far more nervous and unsure of themselves than they look. I could write about how many of those incredible, tough, fit young men ended up crying on my shoulder. And then I could write about how many of my phone calls this week were from young men who get anxious and blush in meetings, presentations and interviews.

So what am I really saying here? That everyone gets anxious and nervous, everyone has at some time or other been tongue tied and that everyone just acts it out when they need to. So if you need to pretend, then do so. And if you get tongue tied, the person listening will have been in exactly the same place, and more than once. We're all human, all of us, all of the time.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

If you have read the blurb on the side about who I am then you'll know that I was an Army Officer for many years. It's not something that you ever quite lose either, it stays with you and last night I dreamt about military service.

We were on an operational tour in Afghanistan and were moving from one location to another, always making camp in buildings. On the last move we had arrived somewhere where the buildings were quite broken down and we were busy trying to fix one corner where there was a hole in the wall. Leaving a couple of the soldiers doing that, I settled down to start to scribble out a plan or some orders of some sort while I waited for my commander to turn up. It was then that I realised it was already morning as I heard the sound of birdsong...

... and realised it was the birdsong of my alarm clock waking me up gently.

If you don't get easy, benign dreams like that; if you are woken up by nightmares; if your dreams intrude on your waking thoughts; if a memory of a traumatic event or time in your life plagues you, then you could be suffering from post-traumatic stress. It's not just soldiers, any stressful time in our life can have repercussions later in our lives and have the power to disturb.

If you are suffering from disturbing thoughts and memories that you can't seem to get away from, do give me a call. I am skilled in many techniques for helping you through it gently and with compassion.

Phone me on 07771 822602 or click here to go to my website for more information.

Hypno-Birthing

I have been training this weekend, on a masterclass in hypnosis for childbirth. It has become popularly known as "hypno-birthing" but an American training company have tried to copyright the word in UK. It's a shame as the general public are only using the term in the same way as we might say "hypno-dieting" meaning using hypnosis for dieting. Anyhow, the words hypno-birthing have not been copyrighted so I will use them to describe the process of using hypnosis training to assist in childbirth.

It's a great system. If you are hypnotically trained to use hypnosis to keep calm and relaxed then you do not impede your body's ability to give birth. Very many women in our culture have come to believe that birth is a painful ordeal so they fear it. Because they are fearful they tense up and this tension actually creates pain and really can hinder the baby's smooth passage into the world.

Hypnotocally trained women have no fear, only confidence in their own abilities and so they tend to have shorter, more comfortable and simpler labours and births. They also have shorter recovery times, less incidence of post-natal depression and better breast feeding outcomes. The babies also have higher Apgar scores and tend to be calmer.

It's so simple, I don't know why every woman doesn't use hypnosis for birth!

This was a good masterclass though and although I didn't actually learn anything new, I verified my knowledge and skills and, swot that I am, I was top student too. With any luck, it will make up for England losing to Germany again. At least I didn't have to sit through the match :-)

Desert Island Discs

My husband and I enjoy listening to Desert Island Discs on Radio 4 (and sounding like complete oldies too, even though we are not). How did that happen? Did we suddenly turn 65 in our heads without even noticing? I digress.

We enjoy listening to the mini life stories and the important stories from a person's past. The music feels like an aside until you hear what they have chosen. Sometimes an incredibly intelligent and interesting person has the most dire taste in music, at which point we are forced to comment that we wouldn't want to be marooned on their particular desert island. It's often a shame as many individuals who we would have invited to our fantasy dinner party don't quite cut the mustard of the Desert Island.

Personally I am hugely relieved that I am not famous, and not planning on becoming so either. What if I were to be invited on Dersert Island Discs myself? This is something that I could simply not countenance because I could not stand to have to imagine that I might really be cast away. I would end up taking it terribly seriously and feel sure that I would get stupidly upset.

Firstly the choosing of the records would be impossible and would take me months, and even then I would be fretting that I should have chosen something else. And then I would have to talk to Kirsty Young about how I would cope and that would be the moment that would crucify me. To have to contemplate being left alone and lost for years, probably for ever, is my worst nightmare. The loneliness would be intolerable. That end part of the programme always grips me with a cold dread. I was once sufficiently devoid of my senses to watch that film, "Castaway" with Tom Hanks and every moment was close to terror for me.

I'm sure that other people just listen to Desert Island Discs as an entertainment. To me it's torture.

Anxiety

I had a really excellent day yesterday. My anxiety client has had a massive breakthrough. I never expect treatment to be quite this dramatic so as she finished telling me all about how wonderful she was feeling, I had to ask,"What can I actually do for you then?"

I felt like my work was finished, oh halleluyah, I love it when this happens! Actually it wasn't, there was more work to do for her. But what a brilliant session! This lady reported that all the usual anxiety inducing situations were just passing by so quickly without symptoms that she kept thinking, "Hang on, I've just done something that should have given me a panic attack." She wasn't even noticing what was happening. It was as if the anxiety had never even been there.

I think I have said this before but I got such a buzz. To think that the elimination of anxiety states really is possible, quickly, with no drugs just blows my mind. Mainly because it has such a positive effect on somebody's life.

My job is to help people to enjoy their lives. That is all there is.

The Map is not the Territory

This is a saying that NLP Practitioners like to use. What they are saying is that you draw your own map but the evidence for is it totally subjective, it is your evidence and yours alone. You may describe yourself as shy and lacking in confidence. Yet no one who knows you would say this about you. You are self-assured and engaging in social situations. So what is the truth? Are you shy and lacking in confidence? Well how could that be so? It is certainly not what the evidence suggests, and that evidence is what everyone else sees, a social charmer perhaps, easy in company. So if all your friends see you as confident and you alone think you are shy then the overwhelming evidence is that you are confident.

It is a way of looking at things in another light. Hypnotherapists call this "reframing."

Check out your internal evidence. It may be less persuasive than you at first thought.

Money Madness

Someone came to see me today who needed help with his panic attacks and anxiety. It is something which is right up my street. No problem buddy, I can help you with that. He isn't working and couldn't afford my modest fees. I offered a (substantial) reduction but that didn't cut it either.

What to do? I offered him an affordable CD at a reduced price. That went down well. And after that I suggested he needed to go through his GP. I gave him my NHS provider number and perhaps the PCT might pay for him to see me. Or not. As far as I am aware, the credit crunch has not recently hit the NHS - it got smacked in the face with it sometime after 1972...

But it raises an interesting question. I feel like an altruistic healer, all I want to do is help people. But I operate as a capitalist business. I can't figure out the answer.