Brain training - banish negativity to get results

January is a good time for new beginnings, as is Spring/Easter and also, maybe surprisingly, September.

I have a lot of enquiries at the moment regarding stopping smoking and weight loss. Have any of you watched the programme on Sky1 called, "Obese - a Year to Change My Life" ? (Stay with me, it IS relevant!

If not, here is a link to watch it on your computer:
http://sky1.sky.com/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life-announced">

Many people who are giving something up talk a lot about loss - LOSING weight, GIVING UP smoking, QUITTING etc

Yet the words we use to ourselves and others can be incredibly powerful. Have you noticed how negative those words above are? Many of us have been through plenty of losses and grieving in our lives already, why would we want to lose anything else? Why would we want to quit at anything?

For this reason we have to focus on what we WANT, focus on our goals, focus on the end result. In these cases being healthy, non-smoking, slim people. In that way, we end up looking at what we can gain, not what we have to give up to get there.

Try this one simple thing if you are overweight. Don't put up a picture on the fridge of you at your heaviest in order to shock yourself into keeping away from the fatty snacks. That will perpetuate your vision of yourself as an overweight person. Put up a picture of you being slim or of someone else whose body you could aspire to. Maybe cut out your face and put it on the slim body. You will be surprised how effective this is.

Nothing difficult - just brain training. More on this in another blog post.

Sports Psychology

I met someone on Friday who was very interested in sports psychology and how hypnotherapy can help. Let me give you a bit of a blunt introduction.

On Thursday evening I was watching Rugby Club on Sky Sports. It's a magazine type programme that rounds up all the news, views and features in rugby union. There was of course a long feature and discussion about the forthcoming England vs New Zealand game on Saturday. From the commentary and the profiles presented, it looked like it would be an exciting game and England had every chance of winning.

Every chance that is until the head coach, Martin Johnson spoke. He said, "Yes, we'll give it a good try." A good try! A good TRY???!!! At that moment I knew that England were going to lose.

It wouldn't matter what they tried to do on the pitch. If their coach is seeing the game in terms of trying to win, then the players will pick that up and will also play to try when they should be playing to win.

It's quite a simple thing to learn and put into practice. Tell your team, your employees, your managers exactly what you want them to do and their brains will process exactly what you have told them. If Martin Johnson had told his team that they were a stronger team (and they probably were) and that he expected them to go out there and play their best rugby in order to see a score in the twenties whilst defending hard in order to stop the opposition from scoring, then I suspect strongly that we would have seen a win. Perhaps Johnson did say that to the team that afternoon, but by then it was too late. He had beenon national TV telling the nation that his team were going to try hard. Players are not immune to that talk and that attitude.

This is not a criticism of Martin Johnson, I am just using the situation as an example. Use positive language, the language of winning, in order to influence your team and it will pay off. Use it on yourself too in your "self-talk," that dialogue that runs through your head and see the dividends.

Hypnotherapy or not?

Prospective clients who are enquiring about hypnotherapy sometimes need to be educated. Followeres and readers of this blog and my Facebook page may sometimes be amazed at what we can achieve to help our clients live happier lives. And it feels great for me too, let's be honest!

But we are not ubiquitous miracle workers and it is good to remember this sometimes. I had an enquiry this week from a lady looking for help for her daughter who was in a hospital psychiatric ward, possibly suffering from borderline personality disorder and was apparently "emotionally unstable" as described by mental health nurses. Hypnotherapists are not often trained to deal with psychiatric diseases/pathology and I gently explained this to the enquirer.

I don't like turning people away but occasionally I have to. Possibly I could have helped the young lady in question but there is a big risk involved. We have to remember our code of ethics and not take on cases that we are not qualified to deal with.

What upset me about the incident was that the lady was desperately disappointed. That was to be expected but I was shocked that she said I was the first person she had contacted who said they couldn't help. She had spoken to some NLP practitioners who had told her that her daughter needed NLP. This course of action is dangerous. NLP and hypnotherapy are not cure-alls and practitioners must remember this. Yes we are all in business to make a buck but not at the expense of vulnerable clients and their parents.

I am an empathetic and understanding person. I really hope this lady can find some appropriate help for her daughter. I also hope it is not with unscrupulous and unethical practitioners.

Changing Memories - Part 2

I want to add some more to the earlier post about changing memories. If you remember that I said the unconscious mind cannot distinguish between fact and fiction.

This helps us with the client who has a disturbing or traumatic memory that is having an effect on them today. What we do is to recall the memory while the client is in a hypnotic trance. We then play with it subtly. We change the details and gradually we make it a "better" memory for them.

In this way, the client's sub-conscious has a different memory to use to direct current behaviour. So the need to act or behave in negative ways has been removed.

I have simplified the process greatly in this explanation but I hope it is enough to give you the sense of how we can use memories to create better futures. We cannot change them completely but by changing them subtly, the mind learns how to cope with them and suddenly what was once uppermost in the mind recedes and becomes less important.

We have lots of methods to help with past trauma. This is just one of them and it can be surprisingly and quickly effective.

For the Journey

There is a huge hooha in America about the inauguration of Barack Obama. I know I am not alone in wondering about all the fuss. there is some train journey for a start. What is it all about? Why all the expense when many Americans can't afford healthcare?

Don't get me wrong, I am overjoyed that there is a black president. I find it inconceivable that it was only a few years before I was born that there was segregation in America. Around the time I was born, my father was in the RAF and my parents were renting an apartment in Oxfordshire. It was the late sixties, people were still relatively poor, there was a shared bathroom, shared with the occupants of another apartment.

My mother had an American friend at the time, her husband was in the USAF. Her name was Bonnie and she was a southern belle. She confided to my mother, "Oh but Ann, you can't live here." My mother thought it was because the flat was down at heel. "But the bathroom Ann. They're black!" My mother's neighbours, who shared the bathroom were black Americans.

Are you as shocked as I was?

The journey we as a society has come on since then is pleasing in many ways. And we are all on journeys. I often help my clients with NLP work. It is like programming for the brain. We often give the mind a vision of the better future they want, with their goals fulfilled. It helps because it gives the mind a destination to aim for. We can sit down and decide we want to go on holiday but until we know where we want to go, how are we to find our way there? If we don't know whether we are going to Bognor or Barbados, how will we know whether to go to the railway station or to the airport?

I explained this to a client today who told me that we could forget the highway to happiness because for her entire life she hadn't even been on the map! It was a funny moment, not a sad one. This lady is learning a lot, she's coming along for the ride, the journey of change.

I am conscious that yesterday's post was a little "me" orientated. That was not the intention of this blog when I started so I hope I have given you a bit more interest today. Happy travels.

The Map is not the Territory

This is a saying that NLP Practitioners like to use. What they are saying is that you draw your own map but the evidence for is it totally subjective, it is your evidence and yours alone. You may describe yourself as shy and lacking in confidence. Yet no one who knows you would say this about you. You are self-assured and engaging in social situations. So what is the truth? Are you shy and lacking in confidence? Well how could that be so? It is certainly not what the evidence suggests, and that evidence is what everyone else sees, a social charmer perhaps, easy in company. So if all your friends see you as confident and you alone think you are shy then the overwhelming evidence is that you are confident.

It is a way of looking at things in another light. Hypnotherapists call this "reframing."

Check out your internal evidence. It may be less persuasive than you at first thought.