Brain training - banish negativity to get results

January is a good time for new beginnings, as is Spring/Easter and also, maybe surprisingly, September.

I have a lot of enquiries at the moment regarding stopping smoking and weight loss. Have any of you watched the programme on Sky1 called, "Obese - a Year to Change My Life" ? (Stay with me, it IS relevant!

If not, here is a link to watch it on your computer:
http://sky1.sky.com/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life-announced">

Many people who are giving something up talk a lot about loss - LOSING weight, GIVING UP smoking, QUITTING etc

Yet the words we use to ourselves and others can be incredibly powerful. Have you noticed how negative those words above are? Many of us have been through plenty of losses and grieving in our lives already, why would we want to lose anything else? Why would we want to quit at anything?

For this reason we have to focus on what we WANT, focus on our goals, focus on the end result. In these cases being healthy, non-smoking, slim people. In that way, we end up looking at what we can gain, not what we have to give up to get there.

Try this one simple thing if you are overweight. Don't put up a picture on the fridge of you at your heaviest in order to shock yourself into keeping away from the fatty snacks. That will perpetuate your vision of yourself as an overweight person. Put up a picture of you being slim or of someone else whose body you could aspire to. Maybe cut out your face and put it on the slim body. You will be surprised how effective this is.

Nothing difficult - just brain training. More on this in another blog post.

"Police hire Hypnotist"

As reported yesterday in the Evening Standard, the Metropolitan Police is in talks with a "hypnotist" that they hope to hire to tackle obesity levels amongst police officers. It is reported that 5% of Scotland Yard police officers are overweight, which equates to nearly 2000 individuals.

The "hypnotist" in question is a man called Trevor Silvester who is a retired police officer himself. It is reported that he charges £200 per hour.

Well its worthwhile feeling thankful today then if you live in the Midlands - Northamptonshire, Warwickshire,Leicestershire, North Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire - because you can find hypnotherapy to lose weight at a quarter of the price of a London hypnotist! Thank heaven. My prices are nowhere near that sort of level and you don't have to go to London either. I have offices in Northampton, Daventry and Rugby, where you can come and see me to lose weight with hypnosis, EFT and any other therapies that I feel will benefit you, and all at a fraction of the cost of a trip to London.

I don't take pop star wages, so I won't charge you celebrity prices either!

Hypnotherapy in Rugby is where it's at

And finally I am about to start working in Rugby. It's been a while in coming but had been on the cards for some time. I will be working with therapist George Houguez at Trance4mation http://www.trance4mation.co.uk

George is an experienced hypnotherapist and instructor at the London College of Clinical Hypnosis. He has been in Rugby for some years and has an abundance of experience. Between the two of us, you'd be unlucky to find an issue that we haven't come across and treated successfully. There will also be a greater range of appointment times because if one of us is not available at times to suit you, then it's likely that the other one will be. So if you're needing or wanting hypnotherapy in Rugby, call us.

There is also a super group room that will be perfect for birth hypnosis group sessions. Hypnobirthing coming to Rugby too!

Beauty School

Seeing is believing. Or so they say.
But what if you were on the inside, and knew that the belief was not based on reality?
One lady I met recently used to run what she described as a beauty school. But this was no ordinary beauty school. It aimed to match the inside to the outside. It was her undying belief that what we have inside shows through onto the outside and so the outside only needs a little tweaking to maximise each individual’s potential to look good. The real magic came from transforming people on the inside.

Have you ever seen Trinny and Susanna transforming people through their clothes, hair and make-up? Or that South African stylist who presents, “10 Years Younger”? If you look closely you will see that the people on these shows aren’t looking great because they are not feeling great. They have a lack of confidence or self-esteem because of something that happened in their lives. This “event” could be dramatic or relatively ordinary but the common theme is that the participants aren’t taking care of themselves because they don’t care. And they don’t care because they have lost their own confidence.

It doesn’t take too much effort to buy some new clothes, have a better haircut and learn how to apply make-up. And the lady I met with the beauty school offered all of this, but what was best is that she also offered the deep therapy to make the confidence of new clothes really stick and take hold at a deeper level. Hers was a beauty school from within, really understanding that beauty isn’t skin deep at all.

It’s easy to shine, if you shine from inside.

Hypnotherapy or not?

Prospective clients who are enquiring about hypnotherapy sometimes need to be educated. Followeres and readers of this blog and my Facebook page may sometimes be amazed at what we can achieve to help our clients live happier lives. And it feels great for me too, let's be honest!

But we are not ubiquitous miracle workers and it is good to remember this sometimes. I had an enquiry this week from a lady looking for help for her daughter who was in a hospital psychiatric ward, possibly suffering from borderline personality disorder and was apparently "emotionally unstable" as described by mental health nurses. Hypnotherapists are not often trained to deal with psychiatric diseases/pathology and I gently explained this to the enquirer.

I don't like turning people away but occasionally I have to. Possibly I could have helped the young lady in question but there is a big risk involved. We have to remember our code of ethics and not take on cases that we are not qualified to deal with.

What upset me about the incident was that the lady was desperately disappointed. That was to be expected but I was shocked that she said I was the first person she had contacted who said they couldn't help. She had spoken to some NLP practitioners who had told her that her daughter needed NLP. This course of action is dangerous. NLP and hypnotherapy are not cure-alls and practitioners must remember this. Yes we are all in business to make a buck but not at the expense of vulnerable clients and their parents.

I am an empathetic and understanding person. I really hope this lady can find some appropriate help for her daughter. I also hope it is not with unscrupulous and unethical practitioners.

The Patter of Tiny Feet

I have been so excited and busy with moving to Willow Tree that I have forgotten to post some very exciting news.

Not for me, but a client with "unexplained infertility" is now pregnant! After just 5 sessions, she conceived around the time of the 6th session, with no extra help from the fertility clinic. And this from a standing start of her and her husband being extremely depressed and upset and grieving when they first came to see me.

I feel so proud and privileged to have helped this fantastic couple. A very happy 9 months is what I now wish for them

*Beaming* :O)

Detox

I haven't blogged about my detox yet although I have bored my friends face to face and on Facebook.

In the past I have detoxed by eating fruit and vegetables for a week and I once did a 3-day juice detox. This time I really went for it in a totally different way. A couple of weeks ago I went on what you might call an "Aloe" Detox programme.

It took a little bravery to try because it was not easy in the slightest. I bought a pack from a company called Forever Living, which some of you may have heard about. It was a 9 day plan, the worst of which was easily Day 2, although the morning of Day 1 was no picnic!

It involves drinking copious quantities of inner leaf Aloe Vera gel. And I cannot lie, it tastes pretty foul. The first 2 or 3 drinks were bearable but by the end of Day 2 I had given in and added fruit juice! Tough girl that I am, there are some things that I don't really want to do. Getting back to the plan, on Day 1 and 2, all you actually "eat" is one meal replacement shake at lunchtime! Yes! The rest of the day is filled with drinking aloe juice and water and taking supplements of bee pollen and a herb called Garcinia with Chromuim.

So, honestly Days 1 and 2 weren't funny. Day 3 however was so much nicer as you start the day with, wait for it.... a meal replacement shake! Hooraaaay! So in addition to the aloe juice and supplements you have a shake for breakfast and lunch and then a real dinner! My God, how much was I looking forward to it! And yet, I couldn't finish. My husband laughed. I felt like crying.

And the next 7 days followed the same pattern. I ate small evening meals and felt perfectly full up and not hungry at all. On the morning of Day 3 I really did wake up feeling more energetic and the increase of energy continued throughout the week. It was completely amazing!

By the end of 9 days I had lost 7.5 lb in weight, 4cm off my waist, 3cm off my hips and 2cm off my thighs. HOW???? It's quite incredible.

So apart from that, I achieved what I wanted, which was to feel more energetic, wake up feeling awake, lose my sluggish mind and digestion and end my sugar and carb cravings. The 9 day plan achieved the whole lot and I remain surprised, but it honestly did it for me. A couple of weeks later, my weight has stayed off and I don't feel like over-eating or snacking. My energy levels stay up throughout the day and I am waking earlier and feeling like getting up immediately rather than struggling out of bed. My meals remain small and I am eating very few carbs and no bread.

I feel so great and am so glad I did it. I recommend it to anyone who feels like I did. In fact I am condidering telling my weight loss clients all about it as a great way of kick-starting their weight loss. I'm still suprised at the fantastic effects it has had.

Ok, I'll stop gushing now, but it's hard not to!

Dishonesty and Psychological Reversal

Some people reckon they never tell lies. Unlikely isn't it? The magnitude of the lie perhaps has some relevance but I am sure that we all allow untruths to creep into our lives.

Most people tell lies to save themselves or others from harm, whether emotional or physical. Some people however lie in order to harm themselves.

Why on earth would anyone do that? It's known as Pyschological Reversal. Usually the mind will do all it can to protect itself and protect the body that houses it. In a psychologically reversed individual however it will act to harm itself.

Let's take someone who engages in negative and destructive behaviours. A classic one is the overweight person who knows they are eating themselves to poor looks, a restricted lifestyle, low self-esteem, bad health and potentially early death but carries on eating regardless. This person is not acting for their best interests and has reversed that mind behaviour that acts to protect.

What a perverse thing to do! Or is it?

In a pyschologically reversed person, there are deep forces at work in the mind. Essentially, the mind believes it really is protecting the person. But the way that protection is manifested is destructive to the whole. The reversed person is usually unaware of why they are doing what they do.

One fascinating case, treated by Roy Hunter, concerns a successful and career-minded 40 year old man who was overweight. He had piled the pounds on over the last 3 years and prior to that he was a healthy weight. Whilst in a hypnotic trance it was ofund out that a few years ago, he had been propositioned by a woman at work. Attracted by her but knowing that an office affair could spell the end of his career, he turned her down. Being so focussed on his career, the mind then sought to protect this competitive aspect by over-eating, to make him unattractive and thus avoid any further propositions by any women.

The mind is a powerful thing indeed.

I write on this subject today because I have a teenage client who needs to lose about 6 to 7 stone in weight (that's 98 lb for the American readers!) This equates to about a year of focussing on weight loss. After about 6 weeks of treatment I received 3rd party information that her eating behaviours have not changed regardless that she has told me different. At our next session, I knew she was lying but ignored it. Realsing she was rumbled, she failed to show up for her next session.

This is a hard one to take for a therapist. I don't care about how difficult my client finds it. I don't care that they simply can't stop eating popcorn or having midnight feasts and secretly stuffing chocolate. I don't care that it is impossible for them to eat healthy meals on business lunches. But I REALLY care if they don't tell me this. And if they lie to me, they are harming themselves. If I know how they feel, I can help them. If they tell me their difficulties, I can help them find their way round them. If they tell me the problems I can tailor my treatment to them. But why lie to me?

There are very powerful protective forces helping my teenage client stay overweight. If only she could have trusted me that bit more, I could helped her find them and change them.

Celebrate Happiness

I feel like I'm in a confessional, "Bless me Father for I have sinned because it has been a few weeks since my last blog post." What can I say? Family and home pressures too numerous, not to mention the time I have to give to my clients, and actually it is right that I give more time to family and clients than to my blog.

Onwards with the blog!

My subject today is to celebrate happiness. I have a couple of very worthwhile clients at the moment who have both suffered difficult childhoods and difficult subsequent life experiences. If I let them dwell on these they could feel pretty depressed don't you think? So we are trying to stimulate their happy neural networks. Every day they have to think of and dwell on a positive memory or experience or feeling.

Thoughts are only flases of electrical stimulation and they go round the brain through networks. These networks are the ones they know, the ones they have been used to taking and using. A person who likes dogs will have a neural network set up so that each time he sees a dog he feels positive, happy, perhaps a nice memory may be sparked. Someone witha dog phobia would have a diferent, negative network of thoughts activated by the same stimulus. Each of these networks are in part habits. The brain is used to responding in this way os it always responds in a similar manner.

So if we keep prodding and stimulating the positive networks then we can develop more positive habitual ways of thinking. And if we have a habit of thinking positively then we become more positive overall.

Despite the tough times, everyone does have some positive memories or experiences to draw on. Any tiny memory will do - playing in the snow, a funny time with a friend, enjoying a certain TV programme - anything at all. If you train yourself to consider a happy or positive memory or a positive thing about yourself as a person every single day, you will be compounding and strengthening your positive view of yourself. You will improve your self-esteem slowly but surely.

There are positive parts of everyone and we need to strengthen these sides of ourselves in order to learn how to deal with the negative parts of life. Even something that started off badly will have a bit of good to build upon.

If you have been born into an unfortunate situation, it is not necessarily your destiny to stay in that mould. You CAN change your stars. I would like to recommend a film called "A Knights Tale" starring the late Heath Ledger, which describes how the unlikliest situations can turn around.

And remember, in your darkest hours, "I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars." I wish Heath Ledger had been able to see those stars.

The stars ARE there. All you need to do is open your eyes and look up.

I can't explain it but...

Many people are sceptical of complementary therapy. And very many are sceptical about hypnotherapy and EFT. Even some of my clients are sceptical about the therapies I practise. Yet they are willing to come along and pay me. This is amusing though it shouldn't be.

I had one such client this morning.

"I can't explain it but I have stopped snacking between meals. I don't know why but I stopped doing that instantly after our first session."

So she came to see me and we worked with some hypnosis and she has been listening diligently to the CD I gave her. Yet she doesn't know why she has stopped her snacking?! It surely couldn't be the hypnotherapy could it? No of course not, it couldn't possibly be anything to do with the 2 hour session that we just had together!

We worked with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) today and I showed my client a very nifty EFT method to get rid of cravings. After we finished, she really did not want to eat the bag of crisps that I offered her. And yet she remains sceptical about whether EFT really works. OK, I'll almost give you that one because EFT is so new and different, but I promise you it does work. It just got rid of your craving for crisps!

EFT is the background workhorse, quietly chipping away at negative emotions, removing obstacles. Every single objection can be swept away and dealt with. All the excuses can be simply and quickly zapped. All the "I can't because..." that I hear so often from my weight loss clients are deleted and removed so we can get on with the business at hand - losing weight with hypnosis.

Hypnotherapy makes reducing calories easier. EFT gets rid of the obstacles to long-term, effective weight loss. And so it clears the way for hypnotherapeutic work. If you want to lose weight but are finding it difficult, try hypnotherapy.

More at www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk

Can you Stop Smoking in one Hour?

Well can you? Is it possible? Of course it is; you can stop smoking in an instant if you want to, it doesn't take a full hour for a magic transformation to take place!

Stopping smoking or quitting smoking is one of the standard treatments that Hypnotherapists offer. Almost all of them offer a one session treatment to be free of cigarettes. I don't do this. I think I may be alone in offering a 2 session program. But my program works!

What I do is to get to know the person properly first. We explore the reasons why someone smokes and why they think they smoke, what the cigarettes do for them. Then I bust all the myths about smoking - it helps me to relax, it helps me concentrate etc. After that we take a good look at what the person thinks they are going to find difficult and what things or situations might trip them up and cause them to smoke again.

You see, unless you really address all these issues, you have left too much to chance. If someone truly believes that he needs cigarettes to get through difficult work situations, if you take them away, how is he then going to cope with the difficult meetings? You can't remove something and leave a vacuum. "Nature abhors a vacuum" remember. If you are not careful, something else destructive might worm its way in, like overeating.

So, after I have found all the barriers to a person's success, I go about giving them strategies to overcome these barriers. I may use hypnosis or NLP. What I always do, is give them homework for the following week. This is in the form of Emotional Freedom Technique, to remove negatives, to blast barriers and zap obstacles.

My clients go away feeling motivated, uplifted and ready to set about the task of quitting. Occasionally they don't! And for these clients, they just go home and decide to carry on smoking or maybe come back at another time. You can't force these things, everyone has their own timetable and if someone is still unsure after a session with me then the time is not right for them. The chance of success is low so in order not to experience failure, it's better to wait until they are ready. And that's fine.

So my clients go away for a week and when they come back they have destroyed all their smoking paraphernalia. That pot outside the back door is gone, the lighters thrown away, ashtrays cleaned and given to charity. Clean fresh clothes on. One client even washed her curtains before her appointment.

So my client returns, absolutely ready to be a non-smoker, champing at the bit, raring to go. We do a bit more EFT and then I perform the hypnosis session. This is the hour long session that so many hypnotherapists give their clients. And the person walks out of the door as a non-smoker - every time.

The 2 session program works. I have seen it time and again. I have amended it twice for clients who were desperate to do it in one go and I won't do that again, because both of them ran into difficulties which they should not have done. I don't like to see that.

Let me give you some case studies. One lady came to see me, who identified in her first session that cigarettes helped her cope with stress and that if anything was going to stop her from successfully quitting it was her mother. So I was able to see that her problem was stress with her mother, not cigarettes at all. SO I worked first with her for 3 sessions on resolving that stress and how she could manage her relationship better. When she had that under control, she was then ready to become a non-smoker. If we had gone ahead and attempted the one stop smoking hypnosis session, I predict that it would not have worked for her in the long-term.

Another gentleman came to see me for stress, over-drinking and smoking. He revealed that he drank between 70 and 100 units of alcohol per week, he was generally mildly unhappy, had recently retired and couldn't seem to control his drinking. He said he wanted to get that under control first and then deal with the smoking. We worked together for 4 or 5 sessions, while he gained control of his drinking and became more optimistic and motivated. At that point he said he wanted to consolidate and wasn't ready to quit smoking just yet because he was so happy his drinking was now at manageable levels. He had achieved what he wanted to achieve at that point, it really wasn't necessary to push a stop smoking hypnosis session at him too.

So to answer my question I first posed; yes I do believe it is possible to stop smoking with hypnosis in one hour BUT this approach will not be successful with everyone. Hypnosis to stop smoking will be successful for nearly everyone when a longer, slower approach is employed that takes into account the individual's circumstances and beliefs and works to set the stage for success before the "one hour" session is employed.

There's more on my website http://www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk/quit_smoking.htm

Emotional Links

I had a great client appointment this morning, which I am pleased to say was so satisfying. My weight loss client had a wonderful breakthrough by really getting to the emotional heart of her weight problem. Or at least getting to part of the emotional heart. Whichever part it was, she felt really good afterwards.

This lady arrived for our meeting feeling very negative about pretty much everything but by the time she left was feeling far more positive. Oh wow! I love sessions like that. Just showing her the emotional reason for over-eating or failure to lose weight was very empowering for her. Plus we did the usual therapy session to relieve the emotional negativity. I feel like we are definitely getting somewhere and it feels wonderful.

A client this afternoon told me that her husband had noticed the difference in her already which was also truly heartening for me. It often takes several sessions to really achieve change so this was a good endictment that our work so far was on the right track.

What a great day. It didn't all go perfectly to plan but 2 achievements in a day is enough to keep anyone going! Bona note amigos

Time on Time

Time is a much maligned concept in my opinion. We never have enough of it or it goes too quickly or it won't go fast enough. Time is an easy thing to moan about.

But time is wonderful too. It is a great healer when sometimes distance is all we need. Years ago I fell off a horse and injured my back badly. A year later I was still having treatment and more and more. Each treatment was more invasive than the last until I was booked for some injection under Xray. It didn't go ahead because the doctor had not returned from his holiday in California...

I then moved house and had to start on waiting lists and new doctors etc all over again. Except that I didn't bother. I just ignored my back and over time it healed. I learnt a valuable lesson then - to give the body time to heal. To leave well alone sometimes.

This works for the mind as well. The mind needs time to adjust to changes of any kind. Even many traumas can be healed with time alone. Most soldiers who have been traumatised on operational duties feel fine some months later despite having had high emotions at the time and having had no treatment.

It is something to consider sometimes. Do you really need treatment now or will you feel better in time? Giving yourself and your mind the gift of time can be a wonderful healing strategy.

Dog Days

Few people ask how I am but so many people are concerned about my poorly sick dog! So given that I have published a photo of Squeaky, here is a photo of Patchwork Dog.

If you look carefully you can see her poor chilly belly, one patch on her neck, one on each foreleg and one on the left hand rear leg. She has another patch on the other side of her neck and these two I think are just starting to grow back.

Poor old girl. She goes back to the vet on Monday and we shall find out then how much she is recovering. She's so pretty and so valuable to me. The story of Patchwork Dog and me is a longer one and I will save it for another time.

It's another "me" post today and I hope you are still following while I take a break from philosophy and therapy. Having said that...

A dog is amazing therapy in itself. If you are feeling low then consider getting a dog. They love you and need you every day, no matter how you look, what you are wearing or how you are feeling. Dogs don't give a damn about all your perceived failures in life. You don't live alone when you have a dog. I cannot recommend them highly enough. They help you to focus outside yourself. If you are depressed and live alone, the introspection often takes over and you can help yourself into a pit. Having an outside focus brings you away from focussing too hard on yourself. And dogs are quiet and non-judgemental. I can honestly say that I have never been into chatting too much to my dogs but many dog owners do and it probably works.

My second best breed of dog after labrador retriever (yellow is the only colour!) ? It has to be the Border Terrier. Sound, good-natured little dogs. Trainable, small and clean with loads of personality.

Lets hear it for dogs!

To err is human - my Angel story

"...and to forgive is divine" Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. We can't always forgive in reality can we? It's just not as easy as all that. So what I do is to distance myself. Then if I choose to step into the emotional space between me and a person whom I find it difficult to forgive entirely, then I am going in on my own terms. And those terms can usually mean that the error/misjudgement/deep penetrating hurt can be ignored, for that emotional transaction at least.

It's just an idea that I explored with a client this week. Perhaps it's worth trying.

I promised on a comment on the Majority of Two blog that I would write my angel story.

Some years ago I lived in Cyprus and I hated it there. I was very unhappy, far away from friends and family, my job was a tedious round of long hours whilst my companions were out playing in the sunshine, learning to scuba dive and sail. The job was ok but not how I thought it would be and the sheer volume of work was stressful. I hated where I lived and there was no immediate end to it either.

One morning I had to drive to Nicosia to take my car to a garage for a modification. There is one motorway in Cyprus, a 2 lane fast tarmac road. With a speed limit of 60mph, AARRGGHH! So I was in my new car, an Audi A3 and I enjoyed driving it fast. For fear of traffic cops I only took it to about 70. And as I came around a corner, there he was and I knew I was caught.

He was fairly nice really. Who was I? Where was I going? He realised very quickly that I wasn't a tourist and perhaps the thought of the extra paperwork for copping a Brit was too much for him. He let me off. I was very apologetic, I wouldn't do it again.

5 hours later I was on my way back to the southern end of the island. And was I driving above 60? Of course I was. I tried m'Lud, I really did but it just didn't happen...

As I rounded a different corner there was an entire posse of Police. My heart dropped like a stone. No way could I get off twice in one day, even if these ones didn't know what had happened earlier. The policeman was very nice. He leant down to look me in the eyes through the window. He asked if I lived here. Yes I'm British Forces, from Akrotiri. A long pause.

And as he stared straight into my eyes, "Why do you drive so fast? What are you running from?" Time stood still. Oh how I wished I didn't have the longest answer to that question. I felt like he could see into my soul.

He let me drive away without a ticket. When I told the story to a friend later, her eyes nearly popped out of her skull, "You met an Angel Helen. I wish I could meet an angel." I hadn't particularly believed in angels but I started to wonder.

A few years ago a friend told me she was an angel. Oh yeah, right! And then she explained that we are all angels. When we have realised who we are and the light has come on and is shining, that's when it becomes apparent. And we will know others when we meet them. There is more to this than you might think initially. It's something to just take in gently and let the seed germinate. When you need it again, the knowledge will be there.

Let your light shine.