Shape Your Tomorrow - Hypnotherapy & Coaching

Clients make my day

2012-01-27T09:34:00.004Z

I saw the most delightful client yesterday who has just come to the end of her sessions with me. It prompted me to reflect on my client base over the past few years and I realised that some of my most rewarding clients have been ladies in their seventies. Now this was not quite what I was expecting, in fact my target market isn't this demographic, but I have been so surprised with these ladies.

There have been 3 of them, and all have been wonderful, accomplished, fascinating individuals. Whilst working with them I have been privileged to learn about their lives and what they have been through. All 3 went through the war in London and Essex and this has shaped them fundamentally, life really was different in those days. And the ways in which life was different has been the reason they turned out like they did and able to do so much, so talented and able. I bet they could turn their hands to anything you suggested.

I almost feel a pang when clients like these come to the end of their time with me but they can't rely on me forever and once our work is done, a client has to learn to go it alone. Maybe slowly at first but confidence will increase and the work we have done sows the seeds for improvement that continues long after our sessions finish.

Today I salute my amazing clients and the work they have done and I feel enriched for having known them.

I suppose we have to notice all that is around us and drink in the opportunities provided. All our experiences teach us something, or show us something we may not have noticed if we don't take the time to notice and reflect. This isn't to say we should go around contemplating ourselves and navel-gazing constantly! It's about mindfulness, and really seeing and experiencing rather than drifting. If I had turned my ladies away because they didn't belong to my ideal theoretical client group, I would not have learned what I did and truly I feel better for it.

A happy and fulfilled Helen is about to press the "Submit" button! Enjoy your day, I hope it is as good as mine has been.

Brain training - banish negativity to get results

2012-01-24T10:40:00.005Z

January is a good time for new beginnings, as is Spring/Easter and also, maybe surprisingly, September.

I have a lot of enquiries at the moment regarding stopping smoking and weight loss. Have any of you watched the programme on Sky1 called, "Obese - a Year to Change My Life" ? (Stay with me, it IS relevant!

If not, here is a link to watch it on your computer:
http://sky1.sky.com/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life/obese-a-year-to-save-my-life-announced">

Many people who are giving something up talk a lot about loss - LOSING weight, GIVING UP smoking, QUITTING etc

Yet the words we use to ourselves and others can be incredibly powerful. Have you noticed how negative those words above are? Many of us have been through plenty of losses and grieving in our lives already, why would we want to lose anything else? Why would we want to quit at anything?

For this reason we have to focus on what we WANT, focus on our goals, focus on the end result. In these cases being healthy, non-smoking, slim people. In that way, we end up looking at what we can gain, not what we have to give up to get there.

Try this one simple thing if you are overweight. Don't put up a picture on the fridge of you at your heaviest in order to shock yourself into keeping away from the fatty snacks. That will perpetuate your vision of yourself as an overweight person. Put up a picture of you being slim or of someone else whose body you could aspire to. Maybe cut out your face and put it on the slim body. You will be surprised how effective this is.

Nothing difficult - just brain training. More on this in another blog post.

Remembrance

2011-11-08T09:22:00.004Z

Have you noticed how Remembrance is assuming ever more importance in our lives over the past 5 or 10 years?

It has always been part of my life, my father was in the RAF and then I became an Army Officer in 1992. There was never a year that I did not attend a service or a parade. It does feel that there is a great deal more interest now though. Is it more part of the collective conscious now? We are 2 Gulf wars down and have suffered an appalling loss of life in a short time in Afghanistan. There is now far more publicity for the Armed Forces since they have come out of the shadows imposed by the prolonged deployment in Northern Ireland and the security issues it demanded.

When I was a young officer we had to check our cars for bombs every time we got into them; we never wore uniform in public; we never told anyone we met what we did, we made up stories about our backgrounds. And Remembrance was something for other people. Now it seems, we are VERY interested in it, people are falling over themselves to pay their respects.

I think the fact that the last of our servicemen from the First World War are dead, makes up want to hang on that bit more. A sense of spoken history is almost gone. If we haven't written down or otherwise recorded these people's stories by now then we never will and it's lost forever.

Deployments in war zones can leave mental scars. It is estimated that as many as 10% of servicemen suffer from long term effects of operational tours. It's easy to be empathetic to someone who has lost a limb or an eye but very many injuries are invisible. There are so many interventions that can help with mental trauma and PTSD. We have fantastic treatments like hypnotherapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming) that can make a massive difference to people's lives if only they knew how to access them. At this year's Remembrance service I will be specifically thinking of those who need mental help.

One last thought... We know all about the Gulf wars; we respect those servicemen remaining from the two World Wars; the Afghanistan deployment is constantly in the public eye; no one over the age of 15 can be ignorant of the struggle in Northern Ireland. Who has remembered those who suffered in a very grim war in the Falklands?

The Joy of Small Things

2011-10-07T13:34:00.001+01:00

It’s well into Autumn now and sometimes it can be hard to remember the warm(ish) days of summer and those long evenings. As the days grow shorter and colder and literally close in, very many people feel unsettled and low at this time of year. Autumn often heralds the start of low mood and mild depression and doctors have recognised this and called it Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. It is thought to be linked to the lack of sunlight and it can be hugely improved by spending time outdoors or by investing in 15 minutes a day in front of a light box!

SAD or not, most of us could benefit from investing 15 minutes a day on nurturing ourselves. It is easy to start the gradual slide into a mild depression. It is easy to allow stressful events in our lives or an overload at work to engulf and overcome us. Sometimes life just throws the worst of situations at us and there is nothing we can do except to get on and go through it until things improve. But we do not have to slide down the slippery slope.

It would be easy to say that if we look on the bright side, count our blessings every day and meditate on flood victims and starving children that we would feel better about our lot. Yet such a Pollyanna strategy could as easily irritate. After all, there’s always someone better off than us and someone worse off, it doesn’t ultimately help our own self right now. The Buddhists, Zen masters and Taoists have a more realistic way of living; they practice “mindfulness.”

Mindfulness refers to being completely in touch with and aware of the present moment, as well as being non-judgemental to your inner thoughts or your experience at that moment in time. It is very much about accepting things as they are right at that moment and not analysing or evaluating your thoughts, just noticing them. It is gaining ground as a way of alleviating depression, anxiety and even post traumatic stress disorder. I talk to my stressed and depressed clients about mindfulness and about finding the joy in small things. It is far easier to notice small beauties than it is to force yourself into thinking that your life is perfectly fine when the reality is that you are going through a complete nightmare!
So if things are all too much, if it feels impossible to be thankful, if you can’t see the wood for the trees then focus in on the very small things that ARE ok, if only in that very moment. Noticing the beauty in a ray of sunshine across your kitchen worktop; seeing a vivid and beautiful colour; hearing an exquisite piece of music; finding a conker that sits perfectly in your hand; feeling the tingling spray from a shower in the morning. Just noticing, paying attention to, being mindful of tiny things at that very moment in time can be enough beauty and joy to help you through the day. We all have a basic human need for beauty and joy, to keep us content, to keep our mood elevated, raise the feel-good chemicals in the brain. If we can do this daily, even for a short moment, it will pay off in the longer term.

We can accept our thoughts for what they are; we can notice how we may feel overwhelmed, rattled, angry, sad. They are thoughts, at that moment, not a great predictor of the future to come, nor an analysis of the past, only the thought of a moment. After that thought comes another thought and we can experience it without dwelling on it or judging it. And if we practise noticing any moments or experiences of joy or beauty that occur, then how much more comfortable does this feel than allowing ourselves only the feelings of sadness. Try it, I promise it helps.

Hypnobirthing - Hypnosis for Birth

2011-10-06T20:15:00.002+01:00

I recently took a couple through the whole hypnosis training for childbirth. They were a delightful couple and the baby should be making an appearance in the world very soon.

What shocked me was that they had to travel from London to Northamptonshire to find a class! The birth classes in London were booked up for 4 months ahead.

There is an easy solution to that! Either get on an intercity and come to the peaceful Northamptonshire countryside, or if your feet are stuck in the city - many Londoners' are! - then I will come to north London to run a class for you. I have a room in West Hampstead which is perfect for the job. Just 3 Saturday mornings is all we need for me to teach you how to use your own abilities to manage pain, manage labour, birth your baby calmly and comfortably and really have a great birth experience.

Sounds simple? It IS!!!

Very busy at HMcH HQ

2011-09-15T19:39:00.005+01:00

Lots of Hs (aitches) involved there! But it seems like abbreviating things is the only way to get through all I have to do these days.

The phone has been red hot over the past fortnight and I have clients desperate to see me. So much so that it's tough to fit them all in. Tempting to book my son into a few more after school club sessions so I can accommodate them. But in a week where UNICEF has published a report condemning the British way of life for not giving our children enough of ourselves and our time, it's kind of put me off.

One thing that is not being abbreviated is my fitness sessions. My gym session with a trainer this week was so hard that I had the jelly legs and the flashbacks to my very first training session at my first unit in Germany. It was the fittest unit in the Garrison. The other subalterns had looked at me with pity when I told them which company I was joining. I was the only girl... And I was desperate after only the warm up! What a shock being thrown into circuit training with these fit young men, I couldn't quite believe how fast they were, how strong. I was a minnow in comparison. 12 years later I was diagnosed with asthma! What a laugh.

I could write something really clever now about mental toughness and how to develop it; about how to look on the surface as if nothing is a problem when all the time you are peddling like mad just to keep afloat; and about how EVERYONE is far more nervous and unsure of themselves than they look. I could write about how many of those incredible, tough, fit young men ended up crying on my shoulder. And then I could write about how many of my phone calls this week were from young men who get anxious and blush in meetings, presentations and interviews.

So what am I really saying here? That everyone gets anxious and nervous, everyone has at some time or other been tongue tied and that everyone just acts it out when they need to. So if you need to pretend, then do so. And if you get tongue tied, the person listening will have been in exactly the same place, and more than once. We're all human, all of us, all of the time.

Hypnosis Lowers Blood Pressure and Assists Surgery Success

2011-07-04T11:55:00.003+01:00

Yet another reminder of how hypnosis helps with surgery AND with lowering blood pressure, but very close to home this time.

My husband had major abdominal surgery in November last year and unfortunately had to have the same operation again a week ago. Knowing how poorly he had been and how hard the recovery was, this time he decided to invest some time in preparing himself for the surgery, something he had not done last time.

The first challenge was to get through the pre-op assessment. He was sent home from it after his blood pressure was found to be too high, rendering him unsuitable for surgery! He spent the weekend trying to lower it to no avail. Admitting defeat, he lay back in my chair as I spoke to him for 14 minutes. His blood pressure reduced by 20 points systolic and over 20 points diastolic. This reading prevailed, meaning that he WAS able to go for his operation.

We also did some pre-op hypnosis, getting his body and mind into the right shape for recovery, no bleeding, increased comfort post-op etc. He came out of the surgery in far better shape than the previous operation, with considerably reduced pain. Everything has been far easier for him than the last time and he was able to return home quickly. One major improvement has been his ability to eat, which has also progressed a lot quicker than last time. He is up and about, feeling a lot better than he was expecting and able to eat more solid food, which is aiding his recovery.

I have the same hypnotherapy sessions on CD that I used for my husband - lowering blood pressure and pre- and post- op. Contact me if you'd like them via my website http://www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk

Hypnosis helps surgery

2011-04-12T17:05:00.003+01:00

One of the oldest uses of hypnosis is for the preparation of patients prior to and during surgery. James Esdaille, working in Calcutta in the mid 19th century used hypnosis where he had no anaesthetics to remarkable good effect. Patients had less bleeding, less post-surgery complications, better managed blood pressure and recovered more quickly.

This is from an email I received this week:

"The hypnotherapy sessions I had with you really helped me to deal with the whole process of being in hospital and having the operation. I saved the recordings on to my MP3 player and listened to them a couple of times in the week before being admitted and played them in hospital too. I found them deeply relaxing and comforting. Apart from being nervous on the morning of the op I was generally quite calm and accepting that I was in good hands. After the operation I had no further bleeding, the swelling and bruising have largely gone and I have been able to manage any pain with normal pain killers."

This lady received just 2 sessions with me and we recorded both sessions to CD for her to take away. The operation went even better than was expected and she is making a fabulous recovery.

Things you didn't know!

IVF CD is available on Amazon

2011-03-08T18:27:00.003Z

It is now there on Amazon, available for free delivery too. If you are going through IVF treatment, this CD is really going to make a difference, helping to keep you grounded and sane throughout what is often called a roller-coaster of a ride.

Here's a link to the product info:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B004LYN2VU

Well worth an very small investment given the thousands that IVF treatment costs, not to mention the emotional cost of going through it. Why not give yourselves the absolute best chance of success.

New IVF CD in Production

2011-02-08T11:53:00.003Z

My new IVF CD is currently being produced. With eye-catching design by Create a Brand again, it is going to look as wonderful on your shelf as it is effective. But it won't be on your shelf! It will be playing on your CD player, computer or mp3 player.

I have some excellent reviews from the pre-production version and it contains tracks that I have been using in my practice for several years. If you want an easier, calmer IVF treatment cycle and you can't get to a therapist directly, this CD is a must-buy.

Look out for it on my site and on Amazon within the next week.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

2011-02-07T11:19:00.003Z

If you have read the blurb on the side about who I am then you'll know that I was an Army Officer for many years. It's not something that you ever quite lose either, it stays with you and last night I dreamt about military service.

We were on an operational tour in Afghanistan and were moving from one location to another, always making camp in buildings. On the last move we had arrived somewhere where the buildings were quite broken down and we were busy trying to fix one corner where there was a hole in the wall. Leaving a couple of the soldiers doing that, I settled down to start to scribble out a plan or some orders of some sort while I waited for my commander to turn up. It was then that I realised it was already morning as I heard the sound of birdsong...

... and realised it was the birdsong of my alarm clock waking me up gently.

If you don't get easy, benign dreams like that; if you are woken up by nightmares; if your dreams intrude on your waking thoughts; if a memory of a traumatic event or time in your life plagues you, then you could be suffering from post-traumatic stress. It's not just soldiers, any stressful time in our life can have repercussions later in our lives and have the power to disturb.

If you are suffering from disturbing thoughts and memories that you can't seem to get away from, do give me a call. I am skilled in many techniques for helping you through it gently and with compassion.

Phone me on 07771 822602 or click here to go to my website for more information.

"Police hire Hypnotist"

2011-01-25T09:31:00.002Z

As reported yesterday in the Evening Standard, the Metropolitan Police is in talks with a "hypnotist" that they hope to hire to tackle obesity levels amongst police officers. It is reported that 5% of Scotland Yard police officers are overweight, which equates to nearly 2000 individuals.

The "hypnotist" in question is a man called Trevor Silvester who is a retired police officer himself. It is reported that he charges £200 per hour.

Well its worthwhile feeling thankful today then if you live in the Midlands - Northamptonshire, Warwickshire,Leicestershire, North Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire - because you can find hypnotherapy to lose weight at a quarter of the price of a London hypnotist! Thank heaven. My prices are nowhere near that sort of level and you don't have to go to London either. I have offices in Northampton, Daventry and Rugby, where you can come and see me to lose weight with hypnosis, EFT and any other therapies that I feel will benefit you, and all at a fraction of the cost of a trip to London.

I don't take pop star wages, so I won't charge you celebrity prices either!

Lose weight in Northampton

2011-01-24T18:57:00.004Z

One of my weight loss clients in Northampton once grumbled to me at her first appointment that her weight problem was hopeless and that she needed Paul McKenna. Well, I took this as a bit of an insult if truth be told! I did however calmly tell her that she certainly did not need Paul McKenna as she had me sitting right with her and charging her far less than a celebrity hypnotist!

If you want to ditch the excess pounds and you live near Northampton, Daventry or Rugby, then you can use hypnotherapy to lose weight. It's far easier, simpler and more effective than you ever knew. Phone me at my practice at any time - Helen McPherson Hypnotherapy 07771 822602

Hypnotherapy in Rugby is where it's at

2011-01-17T12:47:00.004Z

And finally I am about to start working in Rugby. It's been a while in coming but had been on the cards for some time. I will be working with therapist George Houguez at Trance4mation http://www.trance4mation.co.uk

George is an experienced hypnotherapist and instructor at the London College of Clinical Hypnosis. He has been in Rugby for some years and has an abundance of experience. Between the two of us, you'd be unlucky to find an issue that we haven't come across and treated successfully. There will also be a greater range of appointment times because if one of us is not available at times to suit you, then it's likely that the other one will be. So if you're needing or wanting hypnotherapy in Rugby, call us.

There is also a super group room that will be perfect for birth hypnosis group sessions. Hypnobirthing coming to Rugby too!

2011 Salutation - If you haven't changed already - it IS time to change now!

2011-01-11T11:04:00.006Z

My first blog post of the year and it is 12th January already. Apologies for being so tardy.

Hopefully you will have reprised what I said a few weeks ago AND what I said last January about resolutions and how to keep them. And seen my December's post called "Let's get emotional." If not, go there now. In old Army parlance (and also said in a gruff voice using RP) "I commend it to you!"

Time to change then. So what? It is time to change your attitude. Time to change your thoughts. We get what we think about, what we focus on don't we. We can pretty much accept that. That's why we always say to focus on the positive, use positive language. Here's a good example from the physical realm.

When you ride a motorbike, sometimes steering it is far harder than it looks. Trees, hedges, potholes all come up far quicker than they are meant to and leave you little time for evasive action. And if you look at the thing you are trying to avoid hitting, you tend to hit the darned thing after all. Obviously on a bike, this is to be avoided (ouch!). On your bike licence course they tell you, "Don't look at the hedge!" and it's true that when you ride, if there's a hedge looking a bit close and you tell yourself not to look at the hedge but, "Look at the road!" then you do end up leaning further and steering into the road and away from the hedge. Phew!

In the same way, you must stop negative thoughts now. Even seemingly innocuous ones can keep you trapped. How about if you are an ok weight but its not easy to stay that way. You are probably telling yourslef, "I'm an ok weight at the moment but its always a battle." Guess what, you are locking yourself into the belief that you have to have a battle to stay at a good weight for you. Your predominant thought is, "It's always a battle" so you perpetuate that belief, you take actions as if weight is a battle and hey presto, your weight is always a battle and always will be.

Now, change that thought. Change it to what you REALLY want and you'll start focussing on that thought instead and living like that. Take these people who go to "Fat Club" as they call it. Well, a Fat Club is surely a club where people go who are fat, just like Swim Club or Drama Club or Chess Club is a club for people who swim, act or play chess. So as long as they go to Fat Club, they will continue to be fat, perpetuating the focus and actions of being overweight. Why aren't they going to "Thin Club" if they want to be thin? And don't call it Slimming Club either - if you focus on slimming, you'll always be slimming! Celebrate "Thin Club"!!!!

Change your entire thoughts and you change your actions. Decide now exactly what you want, whether it is to be a size 10, to be rich, find a partner, whatever. Then think like it has already happened. Decide that you are already a size 10, do what size 10 people do, live like a size 10 person, eat like a size 10 person. Visualise putting on size 10 clothes, visualise your scales showing you the weight of a size 10 person. Then one day turn round and see that reality - you WILL.

Change your thoughts to change your life this year. Have a good one.

Hypnosis is better pain relief for birth than pethidine

2010-12-15T15:24:00.004Z

I always felt this instinctively but now there is some research to back it up

If you click on "research to back it up" above, you will open the web article about the research. Here is the link in full: http://www.news-medical.net/news/20101010/Bathing-better-than-pethidine-as-pain-relief-during-labor-Survey.aspx

Hypnosis for birth, or "hypnobirth" classes are run at my clinic in Northampton. Click on my website for full details and look on the blog for the next course dates

Hypnosis CDs

2010-12-14T17:51:00.002Z

My range of hypnosis CDs is coming along very nicely. The first one, The Bump CD, is available on Amazon and on my own website. That one is used to aid relaxation in pregnancy, bonding with your baby, helping you to have a confident pregnancy and start to promote feelings of confidence for the birth. It is selling really well on Amazon already. So well in fact that I may have to do another production run soon.

I was in the studio last week, recording the next in the Belief Bump Baby series. This next one is all about support to IVF treatment. I was really pleased with the way that recording session went. The tracks are perfect and the sound quality is fantastic. When you add Nick Willis's beautiful music to the background, you end up with a very high quality product indeed.

It won't be available until after Christmas but watch this space - Helen McPherson Hypnotherapy CDs are going to be very popular!

Next Course Dates

2010-12-13T18:04:00.002Z

The next childbirth course will be running in January. There are still a couple of places available.

The following course is booking to start in February. It's a 3 session package - choose 1,2 or all 3 sessions. Dates are 26th February, 12th March and 26th March. Just call me to book or see my website for more details.

It really is a good course, dispels all your fears and prepares you for one of the most incredible days of your life so you can be calm and confident and looking forward to it with joy. I give you lots of CDs to take away and practise with at home too.

Zoe said, "I would definitely recommend this to others... enabling us to feel a lot more relaxed about the experience."

Let's get emotional

2010-12-07T17:53:00.001Z

Yes, it's time to get emotional - really emotional! Forget the idea of balance and use all those feelings that we are used to hiding. I know, it's a bit of a step change but keep with me.

Last week I met a wonderful mentor and motivator called Sunil Bali and he reminded me of something I had totally forgotten. To place emotions on our goals. Huh??? If we use our emotions then we make something more real. If we link emotions to a memory then we recreate it for ourselves and can revivify that memory.

If we add emotions and feelings to goals in the future, the entire thing becomes more real for us. The more real it becomes, the more enthused we become with it because we do want to FEEL that emotion we have conjured, that emotional value that we have placed on a future event or situation. And let's make no mistake about this. We DO place more value on emotions than on money for example. (I'd be surprised if you have to think about that statement for long.)

So what we do is to attach an emotion to a goal and it becomes far more effective as a motivating force. We are giving the goal power – emotional power. Hopefully you have found the power of stating and committing to SMART goals this year. I know I have. Your challenge for next year is to add emotion to next years goals. How will you feel when you have achieved them? I know I felt stupidly, ridiculously happy and free and proud of myself when I submitted my tax return in November instead of on 31st January! OK, I'll pause for riotous laughter.... But it was something that I was honestly happy about because it freed my feelings. I had nothing hanging over me, I was able to stretch out and go forward without being dragged back by a nagging feeling that I had something very important to do.

So this year, goals will be SMARTE. Shall we add R for "Review Regularly"? This would make goals that are SMARTER. So to recap, goals should be:

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time-bound
Emotional
Reviewed Regularly

I'm committing to this again for next year. Are you?

New Year's Resolutions

2010-12-01T15:55:00.003Z

No not yet! Last year's goals is what I'm talking about.

Have you been keeping up with your SMART goals that you set at the beginning of the year? Have you been regularly reviewing them?

I'll admit that my regular reviews became a bit sketchy as the year went on BUT I have just done my year end review and I am really pleased with the results. I gave myself 5 top-level goals at the beginning of the year, both personal and work related. I am pleased to say that I have either made progress or substantially achieved 4 of the 5. The one for which I have made no progress at all really was the lowest priority and I don't mind the fact that it has stuck.

The best bit is my business goals, which have mainly been achieved this year. One of my big goals concerned marketing and branding and that goal is just reaching its zenith. Really it's all due to the fact that I got round to picking up the phone to a marketing company called Create-a-Brand who have worked some amazing magic. do just what they say on the tin and you can see the results on my new website VERY soon. It's an exciting time. I can honestly say that with the branding they have created, it has given me the impetus to go forward and grab some of those goals.

BUT, it all started with proper goal setting at the beginning of the year. It's vital to your work and your personal life. So dust off those goals from January, review them and start to formulate next year's. You will be amazed at what you can achieve if you start with this simple process.

Oh, and a very happy Hannukah to those that celebrate it

New openings

2010-11-26T21:02:00.005Z

Yes, HQ has a lot going on. I heard this week that I have been accepted as a Faculty member of the Institute of Clinical Hypnosis (ICH). I will be running a course next year instructing other therapists in hypnotherapy for fertility.

It's a huge and growing market, rater sadly. 1 in 6 couples in UK has trouble conceiving and 1 in 10 couples has fertility treatment. There are thousands of IVF treatments carried out in UK every year and 1.5% of babies are born as a result of IVF conceptions.

Hypnotherapy has a huge part to play in helping people overcome psychological barriers to conception and also to provide positive emotional support whilst a couple is goingthrough IVF. Even if the therapy does not result in a pregnancy, the benefit of hypnotherapy during the treatment is to help a couple cope far more easily with its stresses and strains.

So, not only am I going through surgery myself, developing courses and marketing material for hypnotherapists, I am also putting the final touches to my next commercial CD. The one for pregnancy relaxation is already available on Amazon and should be joined by the IVF Companion prior to Christmas. How can I ever fit my clients in?!

Busy time but resting!

2010-11-26T15:37:00.003Z

All sorts going on at HQ HMcH. That's Headquarters Helen McPherson Hypnotherapy if you need it in full :-)

I am half enjoying an enforced rest period as I recover from a little operation on my knee. The anaesthetist was very interested in how hypnosis can be used for pain relief and for anaesthetics. I will admit that I went for the chemical versions this time! Actually I almost always do; it is hard to provide the necessary pain relief on your own, you normally need a therapist with you and have had plenty of practise.

Self-hypnosis does come into its own during dental work and other minor medical procedures. I usually drop myself into a trance and float off for a while. I believe I have fallen asleep during a root canal treatment. I should have warned the dentist on that occasion however - he suddenly got all worried about me.

Sports Psychology

2010-11-08T09:50:00.005Z

I met someone on Friday who was very interested in sports psychology and how hypnotherapy can help. Let me give you a bit of a blunt introduction.

On Thursday evening I was watching Rugby Club on Sky Sports. It's a magazine type programme that rounds up all the news, views and features in rugby union. There was of course a long feature and discussion about the forthcoming England vs New Zealand game on Saturday. From the commentary and the profiles presented, it looked like it would be an exciting game and England had every chance of winning.

Every chance that is until the head coach, Martin Johnson spoke. He said, "Yes, we'll give it a good try." A good try! A good TRY???!!! At that moment I knew that England were going to lose.

It wouldn't matter what they tried to do on the pitch. If their coach is seeing the game in terms of trying to win, then the players will pick that up and will also play to try when they should be playing to win.

It's quite a simple thing to learn and put into practice. Tell your team, your employees, your managers exactly what you want them to do and their brains will process exactly what you have told them. If Martin Johnson had told his team that they were a stronger team (and they probably were) and that he expected them to go out there and play their best rugby in order to see a score in the twenties whilst defending hard in order to stop the opposition from scoring, then I suspect strongly that we would have seen a win. Perhaps Johnson did say that to the team that afternoon, but by then it was too late. He had beenon national TV telling the nation that his team were going to try hard. Players are not immune to that talk and that attitude.

This is not a criticism of Martin Johnson, I am just using the situation as an example. Use positive language, the language of winning, in order to influence your team and it will pay off. Use it on yourself too in your "self-talk," that dialogue that runs through your head and see the dividends.

She gave so much

2010-10-23T14:25:00.003+01:00

Many people believe that animals have a healing touch. Perhaps you have heard of places in America where disabled children go to swim with dolphins and they are changed. Or you know of people who use their horses for therapy. There are even dogs who go to visit sick people in hospital because it is known that owning an stroking an animal is good for your mental health. The programme is called PAT - Pets As Therapy

Well, in her own small way, Tilly the Patchwork Dog did her bit for therapy. I have been seeing an autistic teenaged boy for some months to help him overcome his severe dog phobia. I had been using Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). He had progressed brilliantly and so we decided that we needed to step up a gear with some managed desensitisation.

So one hot afternoon in the summer we brought Tilly to meet him. Soppy, quiet old Tilly mooched around a bit and eventually flopped down in the sunshine. And after a while my brave client came and sat with us. He managed to stroke my beautiful, gentle girl and she let him get used to her without pushing him too far. I nearly cried, it was amazing. This boy really wanted to see her and meet her and stroke her, he was fascinated.

We hoped she would be well enough to visit him again but sadly it was not meant to be. I am just so grateful to her to remember that one of the last things she achieved in her life was to help a boy who wasn't able to help himself. Animals are so trusting and gentle and giving.

When I think how much Tilly gave us in her short life I am truly humbled. Such a special dog.

Radio Gaga

2010-10-20T20:38:00.002+01:00

Well my heavens, what a busy week I am having. Not only have I finished my tax return report for my accountant way ahead of Christmas, let alone ahead of January, AND achieved one of my stated goals for the year... Phew! Sorry I am going to have to draw breath here.....

I was so proud of the tax return. It hangs over me from before its even the beginning of the new tax year! During my goal setting exercise in January, I stated that I wanted to submit my information by the end of May. Well I did in fact achieve most of it by then but then I left the remainder, and left it and left it. Until Now! What a massive relief.

And what else? Well... this afternoon I have had my Pregnancy CD accepted by a local retailer, which I am totally chuffed about. If you are in the know, it is Pink & Blue Baby World online and in Daventry, Northants.

And... I was on local radio today, talking about hypnosis for fertility. It started with an interview with the Chair of the Gamete Donation Trust as she has come out today saying that sperm donors should be paid more than women who donate their eggs. I was then asked to comment on her position. I did of course remain neutral but was able to plug my business a little. Thinking about it now in the cold light of day I don't think men should be paid more. It is less risky to them and despite the fact that this LauraVitjens thinks it takes 30 visits to a fertility clinic to donate sperm, actually it doesn't take anywhere near that many visits. And there are no risks to a man's health from doing it either.

So there you go, I am "off the fence"

And don't think that feritility issues affect "other people" either. It is a growing and silent epidemic. 1 in 6 couples has difficulty in conceiving and 1 in 10 couples has treatment for it. Everyone knows someone that has had IVF treatment or other fertility treatments, even if you think you don't.

Bereavement

2010-10-08T13:17:00.002+01:00

On 29 December 2008 I wrote,

"You know that your pet is going to die before you do. You absolutely know it but to be faced with it suddenly was not funny. I really didn't think she was coming home again. And every moment with her now is a bonus, every walk is precious."

And yes it was precious, but my beautiful Patchwork Dog has gone now. A week ago we went for a walk in the morning, had our breakfast together and mooched about the house all day. At tea time, she was poorly, not eating - unheard of! Then 2 trips to the vet, a night sat up with her and she was gone. My beautiful princess dog had had to go, the old clothes not working any more, at the end of their given life.

It is VERY VERY hard. We had 20 months of her, when she had been kept alive with the skill of the vets and her medications. She'd been slowing down over the last 6 months though, almost imperceptibly winding down slowly.

Personally I have never known grief quite like this. I am a big dog lover but have never been through this before and it has thrown me. In a post a long time ago, when we knew she was sick, I promised to tell the story of the patchwork dog and me. Not right now, it is too sad but one day. In the mean time, if you want more of the story, if you click on the post labels for Dogs to the Left of the page you'll get a bit more about my dog and me, and a picture of two.

RIP Tilly 17 June 1998 to 30 September 2010.

I wonder what she was doing on Millenium Eve....?

Beauty School

2010-09-20T14:57:00.002+01:00

Seeing is believing. Or so they say.
But what if you were on the inside, and knew that the belief was not based on reality?
One lady I met recently used to run what she described as a beauty school. But this was no ordinary beauty school. It aimed to match the inside to the outside. It was her undying belief that what we have inside shows through onto the outside and so the outside only needs a little tweaking to maximise each individual’s potential to look good. The real magic came from transforming people on the inside.

Have you ever seen Trinny and Susanna transforming people through their clothes, hair and make-up? Or that South African stylist who presents, “10 Years Younger”? If you look closely you will see that the people on these shows aren’t looking great because they are not feeling great. They have a lack of confidence or self-esteem because of something that happened in their lives. This “event” could be dramatic or relatively ordinary but the common theme is that the participants aren’t taking care of themselves because they don’t care. And they don’t care because they have lost their own confidence.

It doesn’t take too much effort to buy some new clothes, have a better haircut and learn how to apply make-up. And the lady I met with the beauty school offered all of this, but what was best is that she also offered the deep therapy to make the confidence of new clothes really stick and take hold at a deeper level. Hers was a beauty school from within, really understanding that beauty isn’t skin deep at all.

It’s easy to shine, if you shine from inside.

Hypnotherapy or not?

2010-09-02T18:01:00.002+01:00

Prospective clients who are enquiring about hypnotherapy sometimes need to be educated. Followeres and readers of this blog and my Facebook page may sometimes be amazed at what we can achieve to help our clients live happier lives. And it feels great for me too, let's be honest!

But we are not ubiquitous miracle workers and it is good to remember this sometimes. I had an enquiry this week from a lady looking for help for her daughter who was in a hospital psychiatric ward, possibly suffering from borderline personality disorder and was apparently "emotionally unstable" as described by mental health nurses. Hypnotherapists are not often trained to deal with psychiatric diseases/pathology and I gently explained this to the enquirer.

I don't like turning people away but occasionally I have to. Possibly I could have helped the young lady in question but there is a big risk involved. We have to remember our code of ethics and not take on cases that we are not qualified to deal with.

What upset me about the incident was that the lady was desperately disappointed. That was to be expected but I was shocked that she said I was the first person she had contacted who said they couldn't help. She had spoken to some NLP practitioners who had told her that her daughter needed NLP. This course of action is dangerous. NLP and hypnotherapy are not cure-alls and practitioners must remember this. Yes we are all in business to make a buck but not at the expense of vulnerable clients and their parents.

I am an empathetic and understanding person. I really hope this lady can find some appropriate help for her daughter. I also hope it is not with unscrupulous and unethical practitioners.

Belief, Bump, Baby - More tiny feet!

2010-08-24T16:27:00.006+01:00

No, not for me!

Another client is pregnant! I sent her a pre-conception hypnosis CD to use prior to starting her IVF treatment cycle and wouldn't you know it, 5 weeks later she is pregnant.

I am finding it hard to keep my feet on the ground - jumping in the air with joy for these couples is the best! I feel so happy it's like I am celebrating my own good news. (Quite apart from the fact that these couples have saved thousands of pounds that would have been spent on IVF treatments)

"Belief Bump Baby" is how I describe my services for fertility, pregnancy and birth - and beyond. Not only hypnosis, I start at the very beginning with fertility counselling. If you don't know whether to see a doctor, if you think you might be too old, if you don't know how to access fertility treatment, how to pay for it, where to go, I can help.

If you don't know how to interpret test results, can't decide which treatments to have, I can help. Do you need lifstyle and nutrition advice? Just ask.

If you are grieving over past losses, if you are holding onto fear of pregnancy or birth there are a myriad of techniques I can use to help you overcome the past and reach the state of parenthood that you want.

No one can promise you a pregnancy but we can help to make it a reality for you.

And then I am uniquely able to help through pregnancy and birth, teaching you techniques to enhance confidence, baby-bonding and have a happy and comfortable birth experience.

It is probably the best part of my job. Helping somene to quit smoking feels good but the work I do with fertility and pregnancy clients has to top it for feel-good factor.

The Patter of Tiny Feet

2010-08-02T16:06:00.004+01:00

I have been so excited and busy with moving to Willow Tree that I have forgotten to post some very exciting news.

Not for me, but a client with "unexplained infertility" is now pregnant! After just 5 sessions, she conceived around the time of the 6th session, with no extra help from the fertility clinic. And this from a standing start of her and her husband being extremely depressed and upset and grieving when they first came to see me.

I feel so proud and privileged to have helped this fantastic couple. A very happy 9 months is what I now wish for them

*Beaming* :O)

Willow Tree Clinic, by Helen McPherson

2010-08-01T19:56:00.002+01:00

Here are some photos of the new place. My room isn't here because I can't get a good enough angle with the lens I have. The main photos are of the boardroom, where I will be giving my Hypnobirth courses. Isn't it just lovely.
Click here to view photos

New Home

2010-08-01T19:34:00.003+01:00

Well I am well and truly installed! And my room looks fab. Not that there weren't a few dramas involved, ahem... Darling hubby was being... well, a darling, and helping me. Unfortunately as soon as I saw it free of furniture and ready for me to move in, it was obvious that the walls needed painting badly. I mean they badly needed painting - we weren't going to paint them badly of course! (Love the English language sometimes, hee, hee!)

All going well enough until poor hubby knocked the paint over and didn't realise. A litre of paint over the floor didn't do much for the new carpet. Eeek! Thankfully we have overcome that almost-disaster and the room now looks super. The whole place has a very good vibe.

In particular there is a wonderful conference room, which is going to be perfect for my Hypnobirthing courses. It opens out onto the garden where we can take a break and enjoy ourselves.

I am so looking forward to the weeks ahead at Willow Tree

Surfing the wave

2010-07-22T22:56:00.003+01:00

I have written this on my Facebook page but my head is BUZZING with ideas since my detox. I feel I'm on fire with things to do. Completely enthused about what I do and how to reach out to more people.

My re-branding has started, which is very exciting. My wonderful marketing helpers Archie, Louise and Simon at create-a-brand have done some amazing design for me. You can see it on my Facebook page, it hasn't migrated to the blog or the website yet.

I have also launched "Belief. Bump. Baby" which is a totally new service dedicated to family creation from pre-conception through to parenthood. "Belief.Bump.Baby" is going to take off and it's almost a case of reining it in! There is so much to be achieved in this area - pre-conception counselling, fertility counselling and advice, support to IVF and assisted conception treatment, emotional support through pregnancy and pregnancy loss, and the courses in "hypnobirthing", a practice that is gathering pace thank heaven.

I am so excited by what I am doing right now. Charles gave me a fantastic phrase - "Surfing the wave." I love it and I'm surfing!

Moving!

2010-07-22T14:02:00.002+01:00

I took the keys to my new place yesterday. It is beautiful! A really lovely new practice called the Willow Tree Clinic in Spencer Parade, Northampton. It is in the centre of town and is just a wonderful building with a very calming feeling to it. As soon as you walk in you feel looked after and held and all those other good feelings that we like to engender for our clients.

I have to do some painting and getting the room ready this weekend. I need to move my comfy hypnosis chair in there for example. I just know that my clients and I are going to love working there, it has a wonderful vibe to it.

Changing Memories - Part 2

2010-07-01T11:12:00.002+01:00

I want to add some more to the earlier post about changing memories. If you remember that I said the unconscious mind cannot distinguish between fact and fiction.

This helps us with the client who has a disturbing or traumatic memory that is having an effect on them today. What we do is to recall the memory while the client is in a hypnotic trance. We then play with it subtly. We change the details and gradually we make it a "better" memory for them.

In this way, the client's sub-conscious has a different memory to use to direct current behaviour. So the need to act or behave in negative ways has been removed.

I have simplified the process greatly in this explanation but I hope it is enough to give you the sense of how we can use memories to create better futures. We cannot change them completely but by changing them subtly, the mind learns how to cope with them and suddenly what was once uppermost in the mind recedes and becomes less important.

We have lots of methods to help with past trauma. This is just one of them and it can be surprisingly and quickly effective.

What a lovely job

2010-06-30T19:53:00.004+01:00

I have had such a good day today. So good that I feel the need to tell everyone about it.

My first client today has made huge leaps and bounds in an incredibly short time. I just loved seeing her so happy and positive again.

My next client was someone who had booked in late for a single issue in a single session. What a wonderfully lovely man! One of the perks of my job is meeting so many interesting and truly "nice" people. This man however was truly something special. He works at a job at the moment but is looking to find a different path in life that reflects his true personaility. He is NLP and EFT trained and I feel sure that he would make a sensitive, nurturing and successful therapist. The work we carried out, although brief was good and effective and my client phoned me later to tell me all about his successful afternoon.

There's a lesson to us all here - sometimes we have to make a leap of faith. And sometimes we have to be employed to fund what we really enjoy in life whatever it is. And if we remain open to opportunity and instinct then we can also sometimes be fortunate enough to do what we love in return for money.

My last client of the day is proper special. He is autistic and I have blogged about him before. He has also made such enormous strides and I felt so proud of him today for the progress he had made.

And, and, and... one of my clients phoned me this weekend and everything in her life is sounding VERY promising too.

I fitted in more today, but I just had to write these parts of it down. It has been an extra special day in many ways. What's that word? Ah yes - gratitude.

Hypno-Birthing

2010-06-28T13:25:00.004+01:00

I have been training this weekend, on a masterclass in hypnosis for childbirth. It has become popularly known as "hypno-birthing" but an American training company have tried to copyright the word in UK. It's a shame as the general public are only using the term in the same way as we might say "hypno-dieting" meaning using hypnosis for dieting. Anyhow, the words hypno-birthing have not been copyrighted so I will use them to describe the process of using hypnosis training to assist in childbirth.

It's a great system. If you are hypnotically trained to use hypnosis to keep calm and relaxed then you do not impede your body's ability to give birth. Very many women in our culture have come to believe that birth is a painful ordeal so they fear it. Because they are fearful they tense up and this tension actually creates pain and really can hinder the baby's smooth passage into the world.

Hypnotocally trained women have no fear, only confidence in their own abilities and so they tend to have shorter, more comfortable and simpler labours and births. They also have shorter recovery times, less incidence of post-natal depression and better breast feeding outcomes. The babies also have higher Apgar scores and tend to be calmer.

It's so simple, I don't know why every woman doesn't use hypnosis for birth!

This was a good masterclass though and although I didn't actually learn anything new, I verified my knowledge and skills and, swot that I am, I was top student too. With any luck, it will make up for England losing to Germany again. At least I didn't have to sit through the match :-)

Is it stress or too much to do?

2010-06-23T21:54:00.003+01:00

Sometimes there really is too much to do in life. Which is why I am sitting here blogging about it, because I am bored with working and tidying and decided to write about it whilst putting my laptop back in my study.

Not only do I have a full-on day helping people, I then have to pick up a tired and often grumpy 3 year old from nursery. On arrival at home I have to coax him out of the car (safely) and get him into the house (safely) at which point I then have to deal with a bouncing and starving labrador. Trying to feed both 3 year old and dog without one of them imploding is a task in itself.

(Oh and add in the clearing up of dog sick at least once a week, in fact twice today)

After tea time, getting an even more tired small person bathed, teeth-brushed, toileted and into bed without ructions provides yet more fun and games.

So by 7.30 I am ready to start the rest of the day's work. Cooking a meal, clearing up, washing up, opening the post, checking emails, a bit of book-keeping, filing from the day's work and preparation for the next. Then after all that's done there is washing and house cleaning to do.

Sometimes I do wonder where I'm going wrong...

Changing Memories

2010-06-21T11:23:00.002+01:00

Can you change a memory? Well to a point, yes you can.

Sometimes, people who have been through a distressing or traumatic event would like their memory of it wiped. This we cannot do. The making of a memory involves a chemical change in the brain, and this cannot be erased.

But the mind is both incredibly intelligent and at the same time, fluid and plastic, childlike and susceptible to manipulation. Aha, this gives us a way in for therapuetic use.

The mind cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy. So over time, if memories change subtly, the mind literally does not know. It can add or take away detail and emotions. So we can use this to our therapeutic advantage.

Let's give a simple example. Someone who is good at making presentations and public speaking has very many successful speeches stored away in memory. So he or she can feel confident about the next one because all his evidence is that he is good at public speaking - all his memories tell him that. The person who is nervous or panicky about it is the person who does not have this data stored in his mind. He has no evidence of previous success to work on.

So what we can do is create some "memories" for him. We work, in hypnotic trance, to create some fantasies of successful times giving a speech or presentation. Then the mind does have some successful evidence with which to back up confident feelings. We are essentially rehearsing the event mentally. there are many ways to do this and each hypnotheapist will use which ever techniques seem appropriate to the client and the situation.

And what about Bloody Sunday? Well, as we travel further in time from the original event, the memories become less reliable. If even a tiny trace of different evidence takes root in the mind, it can change the original memory, hence the reason why so many people reported that they had been the saviour of the finger. They probably all believe it too. Have you heard the expression, "He had told the lie so often, he had almost come to believe it himself" ? It is a line that I have only ever read in novels but it speaks the truth.

Memory - Fact or Fiction?

2010-06-15T21:46:00.002+01:00

The memory is not reliable. It is in no way as sophisticated as we think it is. "Facts" are remembered inconsistently, inaccurately and can be tinged with our beliefs and values.

Just take the memory of a sports match for instance. The supporters of the side who won will most likely think it was a "good game" whereas the losing side's supporters will most often remember the negative aspects of the game play.

Some years ago there were some experiments conducted where a crime was staged in front of an unsuspecting audience. During the interviews immediately afterwards, there was little consensus over how many people were involved, what they were wearing and what actually happened. There was stark disagreement over seemingly obvious details liek whether the man was wearing a dark jacket with light trousers or was it in fact a light jacket and his trousers were dark. Such inconsistencies make us wonder about the evidence given in many court cases.

In the aftermath of the Bloody Sunday shootings, a severed finger was found in the road. It had been carefully placed in a matchbox. By the time of the subsequent inquiry, no less than 14 people claimed that they had been the person who had found and picked up the finger and put it in the box. Clearly this cannot be truth. Only one person had in fact carried out this act.

So the mind and memory can play tricks on us, and it does, frequently. How this relates to hypnotheray will be explained in another post.

And, I haven't forgotten about explaining the "inner child" either!

Patience!

Detox

2010-06-13T19:49:00.005+01:00

I haven't blogged about my detox yet although I have bored my friends face to face and on Facebook.

In the past I have detoxed by eating fruit and vegetables for a week and I once did a 3-day juice detox. This time I really went for it in a totally different way. A couple of weeks ago I went on what you might call an "Aloe" Detox programme.

It took a little bravery to try because it was not easy in the slightest. I bought a pack from a company called Forever Living, which some of you may have heard about. It was a 9 day plan, the worst of which was easily Day 2, although the morning of Day 1 was no picnic!

It involves drinking copious quantities of inner leaf Aloe Vera gel. And I cannot lie, it tastes pretty foul. The first 2 or 3 drinks were bearable but by the end of Day 2 I had given in and added fruit juice! Tough girl that I am, there are some things that I don't really want to do. Getting back to the plan, on Day 1 and 2, all you actually "eat" is one meal replacement shake at lunchtime! Yes! The rest of the day is filled with drinking aloe juice and water and taking supplements of bee pollen and a herb called Garcinia with Chromuim.

So, honestly Days 1 and 2 weren't funny. Day 3 however was so much nicer as you start the day with, wait for it.... a meal replacement shake! Hooraaaay! So in addition to the aloe juice and supplements you have a shake for breakfast and lunch and then a real dinner! My God, how much was I looking forward to it! And yet, I couldn't finish. My husband laughed. I felt like crying.

And the next 7 days followed the same pattern. I ate small evening meals and felt perfectly full up and not hungry at all. On the morning of Day 3 I really did wake up feeling more energetic and the increase of energy continued throughout the week. It was completely amazing!

By the end of 9 days I had lost 7.5 lb in weight, 4cm off my waist, 3cm off my hips and 2cm off my thighs. HOW???? It's quite incredible.

So apart from that, I achieved what I wanted, which was to feel more energetic, wake up feeling awake, lose my sluggish mind and digestion and end my sugar and carb cravings. The 9 day plan achieved the whole lot and I remain surprised, but it honestly did it for me. A couple of weeks later, my weight has stayed off and I don't feel like over-eating or snacking. My energy levels stay up throughout the day and I am waking earlier and feeling like getting up immediately rather than struggling out of bed. My meals remain small and I am eating very few carbs and no bread.

I feel so great and am so glad I did it. I recommend it to anyone who feels like I did. In fact I am condidering telling my weight loss clients all about it as a great way of kick-starting their weight loss. I'm still suprised at the fantastic effects it has had.

Ok, I'll stop gushing now, but it's hard not to!

Progress after Perseverence

2010-06-09T21:38:00.004+01:00

It sounds like a chapter from "Pilgrims Progress" doesn't it!

Well I have had my patience tested over the last weeks. I started working with a teenage boy who I think it is fair to say is quite a way over on the autistic spectrum (ASD). His father describes his communication difficulties as "severe."

Anyway I started working with him a few months ago and it has been tough, for all of us I think. At the start I gave his parents no illusions of my expectation of a successful treatment. It was clearly going to be experimental and I did not know how much impact, if any, my work would have on their son. And yet over the last 2 weeks, his parents have reported distinct signs of progress. His mum was so much happier and he must surely feel happier to be going through less distress, even if he can't express it to us.

I have worked mainly with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) using quite a lot of the "Choices" or "Alternate Phrase" technique, after Dr Patricia Carrington. I then started to blend a little eye movement therapy into my tapping sequences, from EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing.) I worked very instinctively as we went and I had little indication of any progress.

And now, after weeks of work with both me and his parents we have some signs of a distinct improvement. I am so thrilled for us all! And I so want this to be a lasting change.

So, in this case perseverence has been key I think. Some of my clients don't quite understand this point!

Regression

2010-05-24T22:19:00.002+01:00

Before I get on with my subject, an update on my Retreats. I am at the stage of crystallising ideas and gathering support. And the support is there. Once I have a full programme and a location then I can go to organisations for funding, such as Combat Stress and Help for Heroes. I am still very excited about it.

But what of regression? Regression is only to take a person back in their memory to a time where something occurred which has affected a person such that their current life is still affected. A faulty programme has been cause dto run by an event that happened in the past.

A simple explanation is the person who suffered the loss of their mother or father when they were young. They never quite got over it and as a result they shy away from relationships or they can't sustain a relationship due to the underlying fear of losing a person again. Thus the event cause faulty programming to never allow close relationships.

There are many healing methods that can be employed to help a person gain perspective and feel better about their past. And when that is achieved they can learn to behave in more beneficial ways today.

Regression was the subject of my CPD this month and a fascinating weekend was spent in Kings College London in the hottest weekend of the year! I suffer for my art you see! But as well as suffering I was able to nurture my inner child and unpack some of my formative experiences. What's an inner child? It's the subject of the next blog post!

The ball is rolling

2010-05-11T11:32:00.004+01:00

It's amazing what a new project can do for your general motivation. My Retreat project is gathering momentum. I feel at the moment that I hardly need do anything, like it will run on it's own legs! It;s not quite the case of course. There's plenty of work that I need to actually complete but when momentum picks up it's hard to stop, and that's a good thing.

I hope you are enjoyingthe sunshine even if, like me, you are shivering in the cold north winds.

New Venture

2010-05-01T12:50:00.003+01:00

Since I was at university I have had so many ideas for business ventures. Many of them I have seen taken up successfully by others and it's a bit galling. At the moment I am on a creative streak. I have so many ideas bubbling away that I hardly think my life will be long enough to ever achieve all of them. Perhaps it's all about that period of growth that happens in the spring time.

The idea that I am acting upon though is concerning overcoming trauma. I seem to have been doing a lot of this work recently, for social services, for motor insurance companies as well as individuals.

My vision is to run a retreat for members of the Armed Forces who are getting over time spent on operational duty. In the First World War we called it shell-shock. In the second it was termed a "Lack of Moral Fibre." Instead of being shot for cowardice men were discharged with the acronym LMF written upon their records. We now call difficulties arising as a result of operational tours Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD.

PTSD gets quite a bit of publicity in relation to servicemen. No doubt the most seriously affected are being treated by the defence medical services. But not everyone who is struggling is getting the help they need. Sometimes PTSD comes on insidiously. The previously ambitious family man in his early thirties who is now listless and having too many arguments with his wife may be suffering. So too the young single soldier who is drinking too much, far too much and has taken to going out on his own at times rather than with his mates.

My retreat is aimed at these sort of people, for whom life is ok but not quite what is used to be before they returned from an operational tour. Who know that something may be wrong but can't quite put their finger on it. I am planning to run a week where guests have time to be themselves, to have some physical and emotional therapy, enjoy a few low key activities. In essence to start to recover a sense of who they are.

There is a lot of work to be done yet. I have to find a location and a house or hotel for the accommodation; the costings need to be done; I need to plan the therapies and activities; conduct some more market research. I have one colleague on board already and I think between us we can make it work.

It is a very exciting project for me and although I may have missed out on some ideas over the years, this is one that I want to make work.

Holiday Season Already?

2010-04-30T18:00:00.000+01:00

The holiday season has started and with it, the prophecy from an aviation expert that planes will fall from the sky due to volcanic ash. This is not helpful to people who are nervous and already I had 2 clients book in last week for help with fear of flying. If this is you, or someone you know, it is a fear that can be helped. It takes a few sessions so please don’t contact me 10 days before you are due to fly – give us a chance!

On a different note, some of my blog posts in January revolved around goal setting and achieving for this year. If you haven’t reviewed things out for a while, go and take a look and have an update session. It shouldn’t take long, but it will help to get you back on track.

One of my goals this year was to submit my tax return at the beginning of the tax year and not get it to the accountant on 25 January again. Maybe this year I will be back on his Christmas card list! Anyway, it is going quite well so far. I have completed the easy parts, done most of the middling difficult bits and have not quite started on the hunting-for-information for the tough parts. And this is the crux of the matter – getting on with the things we don’t like very much.

Tasks that we don’t like rarely take as long as we expect them to. Getting started is the key because if we don’t start then we haven’t a hope of finishing and finishing is the goal. And have you noticed that unpleasant tasks have a habit of hanging over you? The black cloud of my tax return starts to hover in early April and by Christmas it’s pretty dark and dangerous. Thankfully my wonderful accountant (at Cottons by the way!) saved me from the thunder and lightning of the Revenue’s rage. This year I shall be wafting a summery parasol very shortly – and mainly because I determined my goals at the beginning of the year, wrote them down and keep checking up on progress.

Whatever your goals, get started on them. Getting started on the journey is often the hardest part because once you are on the road there tend to be signposts and rest stops which can keep you going. It’s the same for dreams, whether your dream is to weigh 6 stone less, combat a fear of flying or write a bestseller, I urge you to start, because that is the only way to the end point and realising your dream.

Enjoy the Spring

Dishonesty and Psychological Reversal

2010-03-24T14:39:00.004Z

Some people reckon they never tell lies. Unlikely isn't it? The magnitude of the lie perhaps has some relevance but I am sure that we all allow untruths to creep into our lives.

Most people tell lies to save themselves or others from harm, whether emotional or physical. Some people however lie in order to harm themselves.

Why on earth would anyone do that? It's known as Pyschological Reversal. Usually the mind will do all it can to protect itself and protect the body that houses it. In a psychologically reversed individual however it will act to harm itself.

Let's take someone who engages in negative and destructive behaviours. A classic one is the overweight person who knows they are eating themselves to poor looks, a restricted lifestyle, low self-esteem, bad health and potentially early death but carries on eating regardless. This person is not acting for their best interests and has reversed that mind behaviour that acts to protect.

What a perverse thing to do! Or is it?

In a pyschologically reversed person, there are deep forces at work in the mind. Essentially, the mind believes it really is protecting the person. But the way that protection is manifested is destructive to the whole. The reversed person is usually unaware of why they are doing what they do.

One fascinating case, treated by Roy Hunter, concerns a successful and career-minded 40 year old man who was overweight. He had piled the pounds on over the last 3 years and prior to that he was a healthy weight. Whilst in a hypnotic trance it was ofund out that a few years ago, he had been propositioned by a woman at work. Attracted by her but knowing that an office affair could spell the end of his career, he turned her down. Being so focussed on his career, the mind then sought to protect this competitive aspect by over-eating, to make him unattractive and thus avoid any further propositions by any women.

The mind is a powerful thing indeed.

I write on this subject today because I have a teenage client who needs to lose about 6 to 7 stone in weight (that's 98 lb for the American readers!) This equates to about a year of focussing on weight loss. After about 6 weeks of treatment I received 3rd party information that her eating behaviours have not changed regardless that she has told me different. At our next session, I knew she was lying but ignored it. Realsing she was rumbled, she failed to show up for her next session.

This is a hard one to take for a therapist. I don't care about how difficult my client finds it. I don't care that they simply can't stop eating popcorn or having midnight feasts and secretly stuffing chocolate. I don't care that it is impossible for them to eat healthy meals on business lunches. But I REALLY care if they don't tell me this. And if they lie to me, they are harming themselves. If I know how they feel, I can help them. If they tell me their difficulties, I can help them find their way round them. If they tell me the problems I can tailor my treatment to them. But why lie to me?

There are very powerful protective forces helping my teenage client stay overweight. If only she could have trusted me that bit more, I could helped her find them and change them.

Social Conscience

2010-02-19T17:25:00.005Z

I have done some interesting work recently, helping adult victims of child abuse. My clients were a young couple in their twenties, with 4 children under the age of 8, who had 3 different fathers. The children were the subject of court proceedings, with the objective of deciding whether to remove the children from the parents "under the category of neglect."

Both parents had been poorly parented themselves so they had no decent example on which to model themselves as parents. The man had been badly abused as a child. So while the court case had been adjourned, Social Services were attempting to improve the parenting skills of the couple in order that they stood a chance of keeping the children. They wanted to show the court that they had done everything possible to help the parents.

Now some would say that if they were incapbable of looking after 4 children, then the couple should lose the children and they should be taken into care and looked after properly and given a better chance in life. I will admit that I had a similar viewpoint. On closer inspection, it is not quite as simple as that. Firstly, it benefits Social Services to leave children with parents because a child in care costs a fortune. To place a single, simple child with no additional needs into any sort of care costs over £400 per week. Yes, per week! Care is VERY expensive for the taxpayer.

The second reason why Social Workers like to leave children with parents is that children in care tend to do badly throughout their lives. Most of the British prison population have been in care as children. Taking children away from parents is a marker for future social problems, which have to dealt with and paid for by the state. So the arguments for children remaining with families are quite persuasive - current cost, future cost and short and long-term wellbeing of the children.

So my role was to help these two parents come to an understanding and an acceptance of what happened to them as children. The aim was that they could move on from the trauma, enabling them to lead easier, happier lives. And Social Services aim then was to help them to learn improved parenting skills, once they had more of a blank canvas to work with. Someone who has been abused as a child has multiple problems and hang-ups that they have to deal with and they can often be quite traumatic.

The man in particular had been through a hell of a childhood and really had suffered, which was affecting him day to day. After several weeks of work, both individuals were feeling much happier and calmer. They both reported a great improvement in their relationships with each other and the children, they played with the children more and were more positive and optimistic in general.

I was absolutely thrilled. To have such a result for these people was fantastic for me and so rewarding. I saw both parents change for the better over time and I loved seeing it. Ultimately I don't know whether they will keep the children. I am just glad that I could play a small part in helping these people to enjoy their lives.

On Deprivation (and Lent)

2010-02-17T19:25:00.004Z

My last post was a little spiritual, so I thought today I would follow through, go the whole hog and mention something from the Christian calendar. It is now Lent - the season of deprivation until Easter! Or is it? I have written a lot about weight loss recently and how it is better not to deprive yourself as it only leads to you craving the object of your deprivation. This of course for Christians is a little like self-flagellation. The deprivation reminds Christians of what Jesus went through for 40 days and nights in the desert without food, where surely he would have felt deprivation keenly, to say the least. So feeling deprived is what it's all about. If you don't feel deprived, you haven't chosen the right thing to go without for the 6 weeks. The idea is to feel Jesus' pain. But there is a way of doing this differently.

Many people resolve to give up something they enjoy like chocolate or alcohol but I once heard a clever sermon for Lent which provided a different twist. This minister's idea was to give up on a behaviour or an emotion that has negative consequences. To give up bitching about somebody, to give up always sniggering at the guy in the office with the appalling dress sense, to give up taking undeserved criticism, to refrain from thinking the worst, to give up always thinking that someone else could do that tedious task, when it could in fact be you.

It dovetails neatly into my work because my clients have all taken the decision to give up on an emotion or behaviour. I have been seeing very many trauma victims recently who don't want to carry the emotions around with them any more. It feels good for them to shake off the overwhelming negativity and anxiety that comes from having been abused as a child, been in a car accident, been bullied at school. They are giving up feeling bad about themselves. They are giving up on old emotions that serve no useful purpose.

But it lasts, it's not just for Lent, it won't disappear at Easter. And it isn't deprivation either.

Touching Lives

2010-02-08T14:20:00.003Z

Something a little spiritual today.

Everyone we meet touches our lives in some way. Even those tiny encounters at the supermarket or petrol station have an effect. Does the assistant barely speak and gives you the change or make some discourse with you. The former could make you feel quite grumpy and wonder what is wrong in the world, especially if you meet enough of them. The person that passes the time of day with their customer may be unaware that he is the only person that that old lady has spoken to in two days. A cheerful few words and a smile could make a difference to someone like that.

So it isn't always the people with whom we have long and close relationships who have the power to touch our lives. A chance meeting or greeting can have a profound effect. Yet everyone holds that power whether they know it or not. It can be worth considering the things we say and how we act because we don't always know their consequences.

Ban the D Word

2010-02-01T22:37:00.003Z

Yes, ban the "Diet" word. It seems all-pervading at this time of year. But even if you are losing weight, please don't use the D word, it is far too dispiriting, far too negative for my world.

Firstly, it's a bastardised use of the word anyway, which means to eat a specific group of foods. My dog is "on a diet" - a restrictive diet to safeguard her liver. A diabetic is often "on a diet" as is a coeliac. A weight-loss diet however, is just a diet where the food going in is less than before and less than the enrgey being expended. Simple as that.

So don't "diet", don't restrict yourself. As soon as you ban foods or eat too little, all your mind wants to do is seek out the things you tell yourself you cannot have. Have you noticed that if ever you say you have given up chocolate, all you do is crave chocolate? It's because the mind finds it dificult to process a negative.

In order to process a negative, the mind first has to understand the positive before it can twist it into "don't." So to process the command, "Don't drop it!" the mind first has to work out what "Drop it" means in order to understand that it must do the opposite. This takes time and brain power and is more difficult than it at first appears.

The person who has given up something will always notice that thing eg. chocolate and the brain will then think, "Aha, there's the thing I cannot have," thus bringing the forbidden thing to your attention and adding to the craving. Sneaky huh?

Try it with small children. Their minds are still learning how to process language so they are that bit slower than us. As soon as you tell a child, "Don't touch that," the child will touch it. It's only a less well developed cognition than our chocolate craving.

Two lessons here. Firstly, give your children positive messages eg. "Only looking at the breakable china please"

Secondly, don't give yourself deprivation type commands like "I have given up chocolate because I'm dieting" Ugh! How many negative cognitions does that sentence have in it? Tell yourself that you can eat chocolate with a meal, if you are hungry. Trust me, you will barely notice that you are eating less chocolate.

It's that "Diet" time of year

2010-01-25T11:58:00.001Z

So I wrote a whole post on this topic and it disappeared from the draft. I'm not angry, really I'm not. I just have to go and scream very loudly for 20 minutes. I'll be back...

The Blog Post I wish I had written

2010-01-18T18:29:00.004Z

The title says it all, but this blog post from Kim Ayres (Ramblings of the Bearded One) describes in one post what I am trying to achieve for you in my own blog. Please read it as I don't want to copy and paste, and I cannot take credit for Kim's work.

http://kimayres.blogspot.com/2010/01/this-is-for-you.html

You may enjoy his blog too.

Progress your Goals

2010-01-18T16:41:00.002Z

Did that title sound a little Americanised? Well never mind, it works!

How have you got on with SMARTening up your goals/resolutions for the year? By now you should have determined what your goals are and have them all written out, in SMART format. There should be details and timeframes for all your realistic and achievable goals that are going to fit in with your life.

Now comes the part where you make those goals happen.

Every week you must look at those goals and assess whether you have made progress on them. Write this down on the page. Write down what you managed to do - and NOT do. This will focus your mind. It will remind you to feel good about the things you have done and give you a pointer or reminder to make progress on other goals. There may be a good reason why you have not done certain things and that's fine too, just make sure you are not procrastinating and putting things off for no good reason.

It's a good idea to make time for this goal review. It really only takes 5 minutes. Try scheduling it for the same time every week, Monday morning or on the train home or any other convenient time. Scheduling it in your diary makes it far more sure that you will do this.

Do try and you are already on your way to achieving your 2010 goals. Good luck!

It's that snowy time of year again

2010-01-06T10:53:00.004Z

Well the country is "gripped in the throes of winter" with inches of snow on the ground and everything coming to a standstill. I wrote a very similar post last February:

http://northamptonhypnosis.blogspot.com/2009/02/embarrassing-brits.html

And yet again I am shocked at how quick people are to stay at home. Here in Northamptonshire we have 2 or 3 inches of snow. It's enough to make my car slide around on our little road getting in and out of the driveway. It is not enough to close the main roads.

So I took Squeaky to nursery and found all the staff there, nursery operating as normal. Yet 70 schools in the county are closed. Everyone who owns a business and therefore wants to make some money has gone into work. But everyone with a child is struggling to get to work because they have to stay home to look after children. And some of them are livid.

I think the argument goes that the schools have to make sure that staff and pupils can get home safely too as well as arrive. But when I was at school that just meant sending everyone home early if necessary. If you could get there, you damn well did.

I think the inhabitants of this country have lost their way over the past 20 years. We used to struggle in, walk if necessary or walk part of the way. But we always tried to get there. In the winter of 1981/82 there were huge dumps of snow and we did have a lot of time off school. I remember days when there were drifts of over a metre high. Clearly no one was going anywhere on days like those. Living in the sticks at the bottom of several hills meant that school buses struggled on many of the snowy days. So the bus company would send a landrover for us and transfer us to a bus further along the route. I can't see that happening today.

But what I do see happening today is that schools are closed and everywhere else is open. What would happen if healthcare workers didn't bother trying to get to work? A district nurse lives next door to us. She keeps her driveway cleared of snow at all times because she always has to go out. She has an ordinary car. And she always gets to work.

My topic for today was supposed to be change but I have rambled instead. If I get time, I will come back later and write what I planned. How are you getting on with your goal setting?

New Year's Resolutions and how to keep them

2010-01-04T09:49:00.003Z

Happy New Year to you all in 2010. Today's blog is about how to get to the end of the year feeling great, having achieved what you wanted to achieve.

In common with many others born before the 1980s, I do think that the year 2010 still sounds a long way in the future rather than really today. Do you remember that programme "Space 1999" where they lived on the moon or some such planet?

But I digress....

How to start the year and carry on in a good groove? I find that there are a few big depression points in the year. One is when the clocks go back in October and it feels like winter. The next is Christmas for some, then New Year, which some people detest. Thereafter the stretch from the Christmas holidays to Easter and the clocks going forward again can seem very long and cold.

When you add to that stretch the disappointment that many people feel when they realise that they have failed in their New Years resolutions, it can make for dark days indeed. So how can you make those resolutions and actually stick to them this year?

The first option is not to bother at all! This will achieve the aim but may also set you up for a depressing New Years eve at the end of the year. I'm going to give you a new alternative.

I now assume that you have a few "resolutions" for the year ahead. Firstly, don't put yourself under pressure. There is no magic about the date of 1st January. How many smokers have resolved to quit and by the morning of 2nd January are back ont he smokes? Mainly because there was too much pressure put on a date that is only a mark in the calendar after all and the smoker was not ready on that day. That's why I am writing this post today. If you have alreday slipped up, don't sweat, start again tomorrow, or on Wednesday, it really doesn't matter so much.

Your first task is to get hold of a blank book, notebook, a small folder, file, page in your filofax, note in your Blueberry etc. The next is to note down your goals for the year on the front page. Write them quite briefly and succinctly eg. Improve my fitness, Lose weight etc.

Then take another page for each of your goals and now comes the interesting part. Each goal now needs to be made SMART. Smart goals are:

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Achievable
R - Realistic
T - Timebound

So my weight loss goal is to lose 12lb (specific & measurable) by Easter (timebound). Now I do my reality check and ask whether I CAN achieve this goal. Is it a realistic goal to set? Don't over-stretch yourself or you will set yourself up for failure. You want to be setting yourself up for success at this point. The question to ask is, "If I put some effort in, which does not impact negatively on the rest of my life, can I do this?"

If you have a goal which has a negative impact elsewhere in your life, it might not be a goal that you really want to achieve. Hence you most likely won't see it through. If running a marathon means that you spend a lot of time at weekends running and don't see your family, you may have derailed one of your values of spending time together. At some point this conflict will result in a change and the change may be that the marathon is not as important as family therefore you drop the marathon and feel disapointed in yourself. Goals MUST be realistic and fit in with your values and beliefs.

Now you have your SMART goal, put some detail into your plans as to how you are going to achieve this goal. It's all very well to have a goal but you do ned to understand HOW you will achieve it. A goal on it's own is not enough. So plan all the parts and tasks that have to come together to get to the timebound end with your goal having been achieved.

Again, each part of the plan must be SMART. For my weight loss goal I might write down that I will go to the gym. I will go once per week in January, twice per week in February, building up to a habit of going to the gym 3 times per week, which I want to achieve by May. Think about everything that surrounds these plans, make them achievable. I know for a fact that if I try to start off by going to the gym 3 times per week from today, I won't be able to keep it up. So my goal is realistic and increases with time. Too much change at once is not realistic for our poor little brains!

We are creatures of habit and the mind loves habit. So if you have a couch potato habit, the mind is going to be very resistant to a sudden change to a gym bunny habit. It will do everything in it's power to stop you going to the gym and holding on to it's couch potato life. After all, you have survived this long by lying on the couch.

Go through each goal in excatly the same way so you end up with a few pages of SMART plans, one for each goal. Now you are ready to put it all into action.

Every day or two, look at your plans and goals and check whether you have made prgress today or this week on your goals. If you do this systematically, you will jog yourself into taking action. The idea is to make progress weekly so you must review weekly at least. It is a good idea to set time in your diary to do this, just 15 minutes is enough. If you do it at the same time every week, you will soon establish this as a habit too.

You can note down your progress as you go through the months and then you can see, record and keep track. By the end of the year, perhaps you won't have achieved everything you set out to do but I know for sure that you will have made progress on each one. That will feel very satisfying to you by the time 2011 comes round.

OK, I'm off to the gym!

New Year Blues?

2009-12-16T21:48:00.003Z

I know it isn't New Year yet but everything that can be said about Christmas has already been said hasn't it?

Some years ago I met for the first time, one of those people who hates New Year. Until then I had not been aware of this substantial group. This particular individual explained that he found New Year depressing because it was an opportunity to look back over the year past and realise that he had achieved nothing, not moved on in life, not got anywhere nearer to reaching his goals.

My thoughts were instantly that this was one seriously depressing and depressed person! Well heavens, if you looked back at all your failures wouldn't you hate it too? I certainly would. This man had no perspective on what he HAD achieved. Maybe he had learned to cook macaroni cheese or discovered more about recycling or painted his kitchen, bought a new car, educated himself by reading a paper twice a week. I don't know what he had done but I know he had achieved something. But he wasn't acknowledging anything that he had done.

Perhaps some of our strategic goals might not have been achieved in full but let's not let that overshadow who we are and what we do and have done this year. I haven't achieved everything I wanted to and I haven't got as far with some goals as I wanted to get either. What I have achieved though has been an expansion of my hypnotherapy work, an excellent work/life balance and a deeper love for my small son. Those things are important and although I did not do the one thing that I wanted most this year, I will not be feeling depressed when the New Year arrives.

Take a proper look at what you have done this year. And if you acknowledge the detail then you will find achievments and positive change too.

Celebrate Happiness

2009-12-03T19:49:00.004Z

I feel like I'm in a confessional, "Bless me Father for I have sinned because it has been a few weeks since my last blog post." What can I say? Family and home pressures too numerous, not to mention the time I have to give to my clients, and actually it is right that I give more time to family and clients than to my blog.

Onwards with the blog!

My subject today is to celebrate happiness. I have a couple of very worthwhile clients at the moment who have both suffered difficult childhoods and difficult subsequent life experiences. If I let them dwell on these they could feel pretty depressed don't you think? So we are trying to stimulate their happy neural networks. Every day they have to think of and dwell on a positive memory or experience or feeling.

Thoughts are only flases of electrical stimulation and they go round the brain through networks. These networks are the ones they know, the ones they have been used to taking and using. A person who likes dogs will have a neural network set up so that each time he sees a dog he feels positive, happy, perhaps a nice memory may be sparked. Someone witha dog phobia would have a diferent, negative network of thoughts activated by the same stimulus. Each of these networks are in part habits. The brain is used to responding in this way os it always responds in a similar manner.

So if we keep prodding and stimulating the positive networks then we can develop more positive habitual ways of thinking. And if we have a habit of thinking positively then we become more positive overall.

Despite the tough times, everyone does have some positive memories or experiences to draw on. Any tiny memory will do - playing in the snow, a funny time with a friend, enjoying a certain TV programme - anything at all. If you train yourself to consider a happy or positive memory or a positive thing about yourself as a person every single day, you will be compounding and strengthening your positive view of yourself. You will improve your self-esteem slowly but surely.

There are positive parts of everyone and we need to strengthen these sides of ourselves in order to learn how to deal with the negative parts of life. Even something that started off badly will have a bit of good to build upon.

If you have been born into an unfortunate situation, it is not necessarily your destiny to stay in that mould. You CAN change your stars. I would like to recommend a film called "A Knights Tale" starring the late Heath Ledger, which describes how the unlikliest situations can turn around.

And remember, in your darkest hours, "I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars." I wish Heath Ledger had been able to see those stars.

The stars ARE there. All you need to do is open your eyes and look up.

EFT or CBT?

2009-10-21T11:01:00.004+01:00

Heard of these?

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). EFT is the tapping technique where you tap on points of the body in order to release emotional disturbance and upset. I have made one or two blog posts about it.

CBT is based on changing the way we think in order to change the way we feel. Very simply, you recognise a negative thought, decide why it is negative and then place a positive spin on it. Practised diligently, over time and with persistence it should help by lietrally changing your mind.

There is a fundamental difference between EFT and CBT, which a client recently pointed out to me. She has worked with CBT before and is therefore used to changing negatives into positives. EFT on the other hand focuses on all the negative thoughts, brings them into consciousness and uses the tapping system to discharge them. This bothered my client, who felt that EFT is a very negative therapy.

If you compare it to CBT, then in this respect you could say that EFT does feel rather negative. But I promise you that it works because with EFT we focus on all the negative aspects of a situation until they are dealt with, processed and the negative sting has been taken away. Some parts of life ARE negative, and may not be what we would like to deal with but if we are not overwhelmed with emotion then we are able to deal with them in a positive manner.

There is an EFT method called "Choices" which I also employ, which has a far more positive feel to it. It adds in the positive frame of mind that we want to cultivate, after we have dealt with the negative feeling. For those who enjoy CBT, this application of EFT is sure to be a winner.

Want to try EFT and feel free? There's more on my website: http://www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk/EFT.html

On romance

2009-10-18T17:58:00.003+01:00

A girlfriend recently emailled me to say that she had prepared an evening picnic for her partner. She had put the children to bed and had laid out some beautiful food and drink on a blanket in the living room for her beloved when he got home.

It struck me instantly that it was a wonderful thing to do. Romantic, thoughtful, pleasing, simple.

Ladies, do you ever wish or grumble that your partner is never romantic? What do you mean by that? Do you ever make romantic gestures for him? Well do you?

It is easy for us to complain about the lack of romance displayed by our men. But if we never reciprocate then what do we expect? I'd like to encourage all ladies to start to do a little more on the romance stakes. Sometimes perhaps we expect too much of our men. And if we display the behaviour we would like to experience then others tend to follow suit. When we are polite, we tend to be spoken to politely. If we are angry and aggressive, our opposite number usually reacts with anger and aggression.

So if we are romantic and loving, why would our loved ones not react in a similar manner? Try it. I'm going to.

I can't explain it but...

2009-10-12T15:05:00.003+01:00

Many people are sceptical of complementary therapy. And very many are sceptical about hypnotherapy and EFT. Even some of my clients are sceptical about the therapies I practise. Yet they are willing to come along and pay me. This is amusing though it shouldn't be.

I had one such client this morning.

"I can't explain it but I have stopped snacking between meals. I don't know why but I stopped doing that instantly after our first session."

So she came to see me and we worked with some hypnosis and she has been listening diligently to the CD I gave her. Yet she doesn't know why she has stopped her snacking?! It surely couldn't be the hypnotherapy could it? No of course not, it couldn't possibly be anything to do with the 2 hour session that we just had together!

We worked with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) today and I showed my client a very nifty EFT method to get rid of cravings. After we finished, she really did not want to eat the bag of crisps that I offered her. And yet she remains sceptical about whether EFT really works. OK, I'll almost give you that one because EFT is so new and different, but I promise you it does work. It just got rid of your craving for crisps!

EFT is the background workhorse, quietly chipping away at negative emotions, removing obstacles. Every single objection can be swept away and dealt with. All the excuses can be simply and quickly zapped. All the "I can't because..." that I hear so often from my weight loss clients are deleted and removed so we can get on with the business at hand - losing weight with hypnosis.

Hypnotherapy makes reducing calories easier. EFT gets rid of the obstacles to long-term, effective weight loss. And so it clears the way for hypnotherapeutic work. If you want to lose weight but are finding it difficult, try hypnotherapy.

More at www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk

Gastric Band Surgery with Hypnosis

2009-10-07T22:54:00.002+01:00

Yes really!

Take a look at this news report: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5357013/Woman-lost-4st-after-hypnotist-convinced-her-of-gastric-band-fitting.html#

If you can't be bothered, I will summarise! So an obese woman goes to a hypnotherapist who hypnotises her into believing that she has had gastric band surgery. She knows she has not but still she can only eat small amounts of food. Since her food consumption has dropped, so does her weight.

It's a simple cause and effect but the case is interesting for a hypnotherapist. You are wondering, "Is this real? Can this really be done?" Yes of course it can. I won't bore you with the how and why I believe this case can work but it is totally possible. Hypnosis can help with weight loss and the "hypnotic gastric band" is clearly one method of achieving that. I haven't employed that method yet but perhaps I should!

Want to know more about hypnosis? My website www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk should answer most of your questions. Or give me a call. Researching the solution is only background information, picking up the phone to make an appointment is really making that solution happen for you.

Derren Brown

2009-10-05T11:16:00.005+01:00

Derren Brown, entertainer, showman and illusionist (my description) has angered me beyond belief. On his show on Friday night he performed a rapid hypnotic induction on a highly suggestible young man. He then gave him the command to go to a bank and take out £5K and give it to Derren, which he did. Derren then helpfully erased his memory of the event.

Derren was then able to use the £5K to go gambling at a casino. There was far more to the show than this and I would argue that it was one of Derren's least entertaining shows but never mind.

The point I would like to make is that he was extremely irresponsible in doing this. The entire thing may easily have been staged. I know of no bank that allows you to spontaneously withdraw £5K in cash. And 5 days later the young man said he had no recollection of the meeting. Had he not noticed a £5K hole in his finances?

It matters not one jot whether this was real or staged. What matters is that it looked to the viewer that hypnosis is mind control. I spend a considerable time with new clients to bust this myth and to reassure them that if I directed them to give me large sums of money from the cashpoint then they would not comply. If any of my clients both past and future potential were watching then they will have lost all confidence in what I said!

I cannot tell you how infuriated I am. My clients have to have confidence in me, in the therapeutoic nature of hypnotherapy and in my moral use of the techniques. Everything I do is directed at achieving the clients' goals, to help them achieve what they want to achieve and trust me, none of them want to give me huge sums of cash - not at first anyway!

I would just like to reassure everyone that in a hypnotic trance, a client will comply with the hypnotherapist in accordance with his/her own deeply held beliefs and values. So if you want the therapist to help you with a fear of flying then you will respond to all that is said which relates to fear of flying. therefore you will comply with that part of therapy because it is what you want. My explanation of the young subject on the Derren Brown show (if it was not staged) is that he wanted to give him the money because he liked Derren, he wanted to help him, he wanted to feel that he was a special part of his show and that no one else could help Derren out, that he was receiving special treatment, that he would be rewarded and that there was no risk to his money. Of course, this would not be show on TV because Derren is a showman, he cannot reveal all his secrets.

It is important to remember that Derren Brown is not a hypnotherapist although he does sometimes engage in positive hypnotherapeutic techniques, as in the Trick or Treat series. A hypnotherapist who is a member of a professional body such as the General Hypnotherapy Register, the National Council for Hypnotherapy or the British Society of Clinical Hypnotherapists would never attempt to influence a client in the way that Derren does with the willing participants on his show.

If you want real therapy then don't ask an entertainer!

Find out more at my website: www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk

Are you a Weight Watcher?

2009-10-01T13:46:00.003+01:00

A substantial number of my clients are trying to control their weight. In fact they are trying to lose weight. I can help people to maintain or increase but the ones who are trying to be slimmer are those who find their way to me.

I feel like I am a Weight Watcher, looking over my clients' shoulders at their scales, squinting myopically to get the first read of the dial. If they have lost in the week, then all is well, but if a pound has crept on instead, I am in for a rocky time!

When an individual comes to see me for help they are handing over their life to me, or a certain section of it. they like to place the responsibilty on me, so I become the crutch, to prop them up. Holding them up, I gently lead them, support them and walk with them through whatever issue it is that they are navigating. After a time, they start to forget that they need the crutch and start to walk forward by themselves, often turning back just to check I am still here and watching.

It's the tmes when things don't go so well that my clients really lean on me. When that pound is added instead of shedded, it is often, "I don't understand it, I did everything you told me." Or there are tales of not quite managing to "be good" this week. Either way, it's ok, I just have to prop them up, do some more work with them, find out the potential pitfalls and deal with them. This is a lot of effort on my part, to pick someone up who feels like they have fallen, but we manage it and the individual goes on to success.

Weight loss with hypnosis can be the easiest weight loss programme of all, if you put a little time in, if you follow the therapist's instructions. And the weight stays off too, that's the really good bit. It is slow but it lasts. A client phoned me this week, who has not had a session since June or July. He is hoping to hae lost one more pound when he weighs in this week. That will be 21 pounds since April and he is looking forward to it so much as it will bring his BMI down to below 30. It has taken him 23 weeks to achieve this and he is still doing well. You can do it too.

More on my website www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk

Can you Stop Smoking in one Hour?

2009-09-30T13:13:00.005+01:00

Well can you? Is it possible? Of course it is; you can stop smoking in an instant if you want to, it doesn't take a full hour for a magic transformation to take place!

Stopping smoking or quitting smoking is one of the standard treatments that Hypnotherapists offer. Almost all of them offer a one session treatment to be free of cigarettes. I don't do this. I think I may be alone in offering a 2 session program. But my program works!

What I do is to get to know the person properly first. We explore the reasons why someone smokes and why they think they smoke, what the cigarettes do for them. Then I bust all the myths about smoking - it helps me to relax, it helps me concentrate etc. After that we take a good look at what the person thinks they are going to find difficult and what things or situations might trip them up and cause them to smoke again.

You see, unless you really address all these issues, you have left too much to chance. If someone truly believes that he needs cigarettes to get through difficult work situations, if you take them away, how is he then going to cope with the difficult meetings? You can't remove something and leave a vacuum. "Nature abhors a vacuum" remember. If you are not careful, something else destructive might worm its way in, like overeating.

So, after I have found all the barriers to a person's success, I go about giving them strategies to overcome these barriers. I may use hypnosis or NLP. What I always do, is give them homework for the following week. This is in the form of Emotional Freedom Technique, to remove negatives, to blast barriers and zap obstacles.

My clients go away feeling motivated, uplifted and ready to set about the task of quitting. Occasionally they don't! And for these clients, they just go home and decide to carry on smoking or maybe come back at another time. You can't force these things, everyone has their own timetable and if someone is still unsure after a session with me then the time is not right for them. The chance of success is low so in order not to experience failure, it's better to wait until they are ready. And that's fine.

So my clients go away for a week and when they come back they have destroyed all their smoking paraphernalia. That pot outside the back door is gone, the lighters thrown away, ashtrays cleaned and given to charity. Clean fresh clothes on. One client even washed her curtains before her appointment.

So my client returns, absolutely ready to be a non-smoker, champing at the bit, raring to go. We do a bit more EFT and then I perform the hypnosis session. This is the hour long session that so many hypnotherapists give their clients. And the person walks out of the door as a non-smoker - every time.

The 2 session program works. I have seen it time and again. I have amended it twice for clients who were desperate to do it in one go and I won't do that again, because both of them ran into difficulties which they should not have done. I don't like to see that.

Let me give you some case studies. One lady came to see me, who identified in her first session that cigarettes helped her cope with stress and that if anything was going to stop her from successfully quitting it was her mother. So I was able to see that her problem was stress with her mother, not cigarettes at all. SO I worked first with her for 3 sessions on resolving that stress and how she could manage her relationship better. When she had that under control, she was then ready to become a non-smoker. If we had gone ahead and attempted the one stop smoking hypnosis session, I predict that it would not have worked for her in the long-term.

Another gentleman came to see me for stress, over-drinking and smoking. He revealed that he drank between 70 and 100 units of alcohol per week, he was generally mildly unhappy, had recently retired and couldn't seem to control his drinking. He said he wanted to get that under control first and then deal with the smoking. We worked together for 4 or 5 sessions, while he gained control of his drinking and became more optimistic and motivated. At that point he said he wanted to consolidate and wasn't ready to quit smoking just yet because he was so happy his drinking was now at manageable levels. He had achieved what he wanted to achieve at that point, it really wasn't necessary to push a stop smoking hypnosis session at him too.

So to answer my question I first posed; yes I do believe it is possible to stop smoking with hypnosis in one hour BUT this approach will not be successful with everyone. Hypnosis to stop smoking will be successful for nearly everyone when a longer, slower approach is employed that takes into account the individual's circumstances and beliefs and works to set the stage for success before the "one hour" session is employed.

There's more on my website http://www.northamptonhypnosis.co.uk/quit_smoking.htm

Being Thankful

2009-09-22T12:39:00.003+01:00

It's too long since I regularly "blogged" and I have lost many of my friends on the journey. But that's ok, perhaps I will make some new ones. I've not been in full health and there's a reason for that which I don't yet fully understand. Understanding will come though.

Today's post is about thankfulness and mindfulness. It will strike a chord with those of you who follow a religion. To others it will sound overtly "Pollyanna-ish" and perhaps some will want to scream at me. To let you in, I have been through all of those reactions so just accept your reaction fopr what it is. That's mindfulness.

So my subject is to be thankful. There definitely is something to be learned in every situation that life throws at us. When all is going our way, we rarely stop to consider what we are learning. Perhaps that is becuase the soul is not developing, perhaps it is too easy. When life is tough, sometimes a small voice nags us to understand that every part of life is a journey and that we will be picking up experiences and learning from them. Yet when we are in physical or emotional pain or mental anguish engulfs us, then how on earth can we take anything positive from where we are?

That's when the screaming voice can take over and want to cut down any self-righteous, patronising do-gooder who looks on sympathetically and tells us to "be positive."

AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!

But if you look closely, there is an ingredient missing from the recipe and it is TIME. In the thick of it, in the middle of the fight, all you can do is protect yourself from the blows and strike out when you get the opportunity. Only later when you analyse it with your coach and watch the video footage will you be able to gain the perspective you need to really learn from the mistakes you made in the ring.

So try this now. Look backwards in time and pick a time or situation or a person which you would rather miss out if you could play the film of your life again. With the perspective of time, examine the video footage and see if you can identify the positive aspects. What did you do well? But most of all, what are you thankful for?

I would rather forget and miss out the experience of marriage to my first husband but on so many days I have reason to feel thankful for the time we spent together. He taught me to cook! To cook real, fresh food and to experiment, to not be afraid in the kitchen. I still have the cookery book he patronisingly bought me the week before our wedding - it is a firm favourite of mine.

If I take this concept further and extrapolate the effect of learning to cook, I can thank my ex-husband for my health. Ten years of eating unprocessed, fresh food has doubtless had a positive effect on my health. It is a strange feeling to thank him for that but I cannot deny it.

Finding something positive in a bad situation liberates us from the negative emotional effects of that unfortunate experience. For some people there may be much healing required but the exercise of thankfulness can be a start.

Try that today.

Emotional Freedom Technique

2009-08-03T13:52:00.002+01:00

Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT will be the "next big thing" in my humble opinion. It is a system of tapping on acupuncture points on the body which brings about emotional and physical relief from all kinds of negative emotions and physical symptoms.

Try this article:

Surgeon Uses New Acupressure Technique to Lower Surgery Risk

San Francisco, CA (PRWEB) -- Almost everyone who’s scheduled for surgery experiences at least a few symptoms of anxiety. But while some stress is normal, patients who experience severe anxiety actually increase their need for sedating drugs and subsequent complications such as severe pain, slower wound healing, and increased risk of infection, adverse drug reactions, cognitive impairment, and longer hospital stays.

According to Los Angeles surgeon Eric Robins, MD, there’s a simple way to reduce these risks by reducing the anxiety that causes them. His prescription is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), a simple do-it-yourself procedure that combines gentle fingertip tapping on key acupuncture points with focused thought.

“Stress is a real problem in health and healing,” says Dr. Robins. “but it doesn’t just complicate surgery, it actually contributes to disease. Most of the problems that send people to surgeons are themselves linked to stress, anxiety, or past traumas. I like EFT because it’s easy to demonstrate, easy to learn, works fast, and addresses an illness’s underlying factors. In some cases, it works so well that we have to cancel the operation.”

One of Dr. Robins’ patients was scheduled for surgery because she wasn’t able to void urine after a knee replacement. During her pre-op exam, Dr. Robins wondered whether emotional factors might be interfering with the function of her bladder.She answered that stress from her husband’s recent illness might be a factor. “Even though we were talking in a busy medical clinic with many distractions,” says Dr. Robins, “I taught her EFT and guided her through 10 minutes of tapping. After we filled the patient’s bladder with water and removed her catheter, she voided just fine. Five days later she was still doing well, making the surgery unnecessary. Her symptoms never returned.

”When surgery is needed, he says, EFT can reduce or eliminate pre-op nerves, reduce the patient’s need for anesthetics, speed recovery, and improve the procedure’s outcome.

Reducing a patient’s need for sedating drugs is important not only to those with drug sensitivities but to America’s aging population. According to the American Society of Anesthesiologists, over half of patients age 60 and older experience confusion and other symptoms of cognitive impairment when discharged after surgery, and three months later, over a third continue to be adversely affected. Patients undergoing heart surgery, joint replacement, or fracture repair are at greatest risk of anesthesia-related mental decline.

Gary Craig, the Stanford-trained engineer who developed EFT, has collected thousands of reports from EFT practitioners around the world. “Several describe how by reducing their anxiety, patients reduced and in some cases eliminated their need for epidurals and other drugs or procedures,” he says. “Others demonstrate how EFT speeds recovery and helps patients regain their full range of motion and resume their normal activities.”

“EFT is one of my favorite healing tools,” says Dr. Robins. “It’s the perfect complement to conventional medicine, and I strongly recommend it for anyone getting ready for surgery.”

This article cites Eric Robins, a well-respected medical doctor and author of many self-help books in the USA.

EFT is an amazing therapy, it can be used on anything and everything. I use it frequently in my practice and teach it to most of my clients, in whom I have seen several miraculous results. Hypnotherapy is excellent for adding in the positive, to encourage new ways of behaving. For deleting old unhelpful ways of living, negative self-defeating thoughts and the negative self-talk that we use, you simply can't beat EFT.

Books for Children

2009-04-07T21:13:00.002+01:00

I have ideas for 2 books. I have the outline chapters for one and a synopsis written. The other is still in my head but I started to write it this week.

This book is one that I am writing for my son. It is a love story, the story of how his daddy and I met. It's a long story and spans 9 years from our first meeting to having a full relationship. We met at work and 8 years later he told me that he loved me. Every time I tell anyone the story they go all gooey and someone once said that it sounded like a film.

None of us know how long we will be here. Sometimes we tread our lives on the thinnest of knife edges. And sometimes we don't even know how close to the edge we were. So in case I never get to tell the story to my boy, I am writing it now. So one day he will know just how deep our love goes.

What is your story?

Desert Island Discs

2009-04-06T21:16:00.004+01:00

My husband and I enjoy listening to Desert Island Discs on Radio 4 (and sounding like complete oldies too, even though we are not). How did that happen? Did we suddenly turn 65 in our heads without even noticing? I digress.

We enjoy listening to the mini life stories and the important stories from a person's past. The music feels like an aside until you hear what they have chosen. Sometimes an incredibly intelligent and interesting person has the most dire taste in music, at which point we are forced to comment that we wouldn't want to be marooned on their particular desert island. It's often a shame as many individuals who we would have invited to our fantasy dinner party don't quite cut the mustard of the Desert Island.

Personally I am hugely relieved that I am not famous, and not planning on becoming so either. What if I were to be invited on Dersert Island Discs myself? This is something that I could simply not countenance because I could not stand to have to imagine that I might really be cast away. I would end up taking it terribly seriously and feel sure that I would get stupidly upset.

Firstly the choosing of the records would be impossible and would take me months, and even then I would be fretting that I should have chosen something else. And then I would have to talk to Kirsty Young about how I would cope and that would be the moment that would crucify me. To have to contemplate being left alone and lost for years, probably for ever, is my worst nightmare. The loneliness would be intolerable. That end part of the programme always grips me with a cold dread. I was once sufficiently devoid of my senses to watch that film, "Castaway" with Tom Hanks and every moment was close to terror for me.

I'm sure that other people just listen to Desert Island Discs as an entertainment. To me it's torture.

Anxiety

2009-02-24T20:48:00.003Z

I had a really excellent day yesterday. My anxiety client has had a massive breakthrough. I never expect treatment to be quite this dramatic so as she finished telling me all about how wonderful she was feeling, I had to ask,"What can I actually do for you then?"

I felt like my work was finished, oh halleluyah, I love it when this happens! Actually it wasn't, there was more work to do for her. But what a brilliant session! This lady reported that all the usual anxiety inducing situations were just passing by so quickly without symptoms that she kept thinking, "Hang on, I've just done something that should have given me a panic attack." She wasn't even noticing what was happening. It was as if the anxiety had never even been there.

I think I have said this before but I got such a buzz. To think that the elimination of anxiety states really is possible, quickly, with no drugs just blows my mind. Mainly because it has such a positive effect on somebody's life.

My job is to help people to enjoy their lives. That is all there is.

Equilibrium

2009-02-16T19:48:00.003Z

Lost my equilibrium for a short while. Had a wobbly blip. It happens, even though peeps think it doesn't. As I said in an earlier post, this is the real world and it's not quite as fluffy as we would all like. Anyhow, the status quo is mostly restored.

I was in London today and I managed to take a short walk in Regents Park. I loved seeing the wonderful old trees. I always feel very grounded by large trees; they are so old, it's as if the wisdom of the world is rising through their roots. I find the winter, bare branches look enables you to see their beauty best. It was quite restorative.

I was able to do a little people watching too, which I find is best in cities. I saw a few people who looked like the sort of people I might have been friends with if I had that sort of a city life and it got me thinking about the "turn of a sixpence" theme again. When I got my A level results I had dropped one grade which meant that I was no longer eligible for a place at City University in London. I was heartbroken. All I wanted was to escape my small-town country upbringing and get living!

I ended up going to a very second choice small-town campus university which I was never entirely happy with. Then my life went in some strange directions and about 15 years later I found myself writing a letter to my Grandma that I was enjoying living in my new house but it was in the middle of a large town. Luckily I was right next to a park and could see trees outside my study window. I spent a lot of time staring at those trees that year and I longed for more grass and mud.

And so I realised that in fact I was a bit of a country girl. So every time I visit London I am faced with the image of what might have been and I honestly feel glad that it wasn't. Yet that one dropped grade held the key and I never knew. Everything would have been different and I would have been a very different person, and I am not sure I would have been happy shoehorning myself in to that life.

I am fascinated that small events in our pasts shape our futures so much. Who knows what I am doing right now that seems insignificant, yet could change the course of events.

I think the key is making the best of the hand we are dealt. It is not what happens in our lives that shape us and give us happiness, it is our responses.

Cake Philosophy

2009-02-10T16:43:00.003Z

Picture if you can a dinner table with a few Army officers assembled and a few of their wives, oh plus little old me! It's only a few years ago, it's summer in Cyprus, no one is old or crusty or has a handlebar moustache. No one is over forty! One colourful and just a bit sexist character has been holding fort for most of the meal, entertaining the rest of us with much hilarity.

He then launches into a discussion of the wives left at home while husbands go off on exercises and tours. Imagine a public school accent, a little like Lieutenant George in Blackadder (the character is in fact a Lieutenant Colonel) as he said, "I don't know what they're on about really. If they get sad, just do what I tell my wife to do. Go bake yourself a cake and cheer yourself up!"

The sheer crassness and disbelief of this piece of advice had the table in stitches. Said officer was on a tour in Cyprus and did not have his wife with him but I would so like to meet her!

So it was that I found myself having a bit of a low day today. Couldn't concentrate, couldn't settle on doing anything. With David Eccles' (I can't forget him) advice having been ringing in my ears for over 10 years now, I tried out his philosophy and set to a Victoria sponge.

Now being a therapist, I think people believe I have the perfect life and am completely together and don't get bothered by anything, but hey, remember the real world? It is hard sometimes because I often find myself doing the very things I help my clients to stop. Eating the wrong things mainly!

So you should NEVER use food as a comforter. Food is fuel for the body, which tastes delicious. But the difference in cake making is the making. Baking a cake is creating something, an artisan skill, something which humans often don't do any more. We live instant lives, we buy things that factories or other people have made in bulk. That's what accounts for the rise in interior design programmes - we want to create. We want to make our mark, to see that we have achieved something physical which we can see.

So I made my Victoria sponge and great fun it was too. Until I found that the strawberry jam had gone mouldy in the fridge. Sigh. Ah well, I sandwiched it together with buttercream icing anyway and it tasted yummy! I haven't binged on it and I won't eat it in one go.

When I was a teenager I was in fact a demon cake maker but these sort of skills need practice and I am sadly well out of that practice now. But it was an honest and delicous effort and actually it has lifted me a bit.

The philosophy of sponge - try it for yourself!

Embarrassing Brits

2009-02-09T09:58:00.003Z

I am again embarrassed to be a Brit for the second time in a fortnight. Last night it snowed again, probably about an inch and the temperature dropped leaving the place very icy this morning, with some dangerous roads. But most roads are passable if you drive carefully at the correct speed for the road, your vehicle and your level of driving expertise.

So what happens? Many of our schools are closed again because it is felt that it is "not safe for staff or pupils" What the hell is going on here? Why don't people just go to work and go to school? So they might fall over on the ice. So what? They are not going to die! My goodness if I had missed school every day it was icy I would never have learnt anything! And nor would any other children in North West Europe or Canada or anywhere else that's cold. Clearly our current batch of headteachers are frightened to take a stand, to make any kind of decision other than a scared one.

What happened to the Dunkirk spirit? What happened to struggle over adversity? What happened to ORDINARY COMMON SENSE???????????

I fear we are teaching our children to be complete cowards, frightened to take the smallest risk. We are teaching a nation to grow up like the Mavis character on Coronation Street - "Oooh, I don't really knoooww." Great, what a future to look forward to.

I must not forget to add, both Squeaky and I have suffered injuries from the weather. He was walking the dog yesterday when he fell over, whereupon Patchwork dog carried on walking/bouncing and poor Squeaky didn't think to let go of the lead. Heaven knows why as he usually drops it at the least pause in concentration, but not today. So dog bounces away and drags poor Squeaky boy behind her through the lumpy hard snow. Much crying and bruised faces and noses and wet clothes. Huge cuddles needed.

And stupid, stupid me! I was shovelling snow on Saturday morning. Just on the last 5 minutes. Aha, a great piece of ice, let's just move that away and then I'll be finished. Too hard to break it into pieces, let's just lift the big heavy ice in one piece and throw it over..... AAARRRGGGHH! And there I was, doubled over the shovel, my back knackered. And only just having had it expensively put back together again by the wonderful Patt (Here's her website, she is AMAZING! http://www.pattstock.co.uk/)

It is VERY irritating!

Snowy about the ears

2009-02-06T18:18:00.004Z

I couldn't resist posting this pic of the Patchwork dog. She has been bouncing around like a spring puppy and has obviously been expensively faking it! Grrr!

Emotional Links

2009-02-03T15:06:00.002Z

I had a great client appointment this morning, which I am pleased to say was so satisfying. My weight loss client had a wonderful breakthrough by really getting to the emotional heart of her weight problem. Or at least getting to part of the emotional heart. Whichever part it was, she felt really good afterwards.

This lady arrived for our meeting feeling very negative about pretty much everything but by the time she left was feeling far more positive. Oh wow! I love sessions like that. Just showing her the emotional reason for over-eating or failure to lose weight was very empowering for her. Plus we did the usual therapy session to relieve the emotional negativity. I feel like we are definitely getting somewhere and it feels wonderful.

A client this afternoon told me that her husband had noticed the difference in her already which was also truly heartening for me. It often takes several sessions to really achieve change so this was a good endictment that our work so far was on the right track.

What a great day. It didn't all go perfectly to plan but 2 achievements in a day is enough to keep anyone going! Bona note amigos

Today is the Fourth Annual Bloggers Silent Poetry Reading. Post your poem, (your own or another's) today.

2009-02-02T19:57:00.002Z

"Here comes the Sun," The Beatles sang,
I sing, "Here comes the Rain Again."
It washes and pours in torrents and waves,
Sliding down the windscreen, battering my face.
But how I long for the Sun,
Warming, smiling, soothing, smoothing,
It's golden caress
Touching, Easing, Brightening, Healing.
Imagine the heat stroking my skin,
Wrapping me up, a cocoon within,
The deep velvet folds envelop my soul,
But now I'm shut in, embracing the cold.

Anon

I can't reveal the source of this poem (I have a confidentiality agreement). I was wondering, what do you see in this poem?

Let it Snow!

2009-02-02T10:00:00.004Z

Well it's snowing beautifully here. I love snow. But let's face it, the Brits are useless at snow. Well aren't they?

This morning I drove into town and the roads were absolutely clear, about as wet as on a slightly rainy day. Yet there was some idiot who was driving at 20 mph. At 20! I ask you! Just a tiny flurry and the entire country turns into a quaking mushy scaredy mass. Frankly it's embarrassing.

I remember driving down the motorway in Germany in a blizzard, with an inch of snow on the road and it was so cold that the windscreen was icing up because the wipers and the heater couldn't kep it warm enough. We were driving at 40 or 50 and there were cars passing us! Yet when there is an inch of snow on the verge here, we feel the need to slow down to a crawl. No wonder the country comes to a standstill.

I remember in the 1980s being snowed in at home under inches and inches of snow with enormous drifts. Every way out of the village was a hill and we just couldn't get out. We missed days off school that winter because the buses couldn't get to us. I hated living in the back of beyond really but not that winter! And there were other winters that had a few days the same. But now we don't have proper cold winters with proper snow and people just aren't used to it. It's a shame.

Labrador

2009-01-28T19:42:00.002Z

A very quick post today. The Patchwork Dog has improved it seems. The vet nurse phoned me last night to tell me that her (the dog's!) bloods were improved. She didn't say how much. So the vet is speaking to the specialist (the expensive specialist) to agree a treatment plan. So definately going in the right direction. I thought she seemed better and more lively. And the fur on her belly is starting to grow back too, in wispy little bits - aah!

Time on Time

2009-01-27T11:39:00.002Z

Time is a much maligned concept in my opinion. We never have enough of it or it goes too quickly or it won't go fast enough. Time is an easy thing to moan about.

But time is wonderful too. It is a great healer when sometimes distance is all we need. Years ago I fell off a horse and injured my back badly. A year later I was still having treatment and more and more. Each treatment was more invasive than the last until I was booked for some injection under Xray. It didn't go ahead because the doctor had not returned from his holiday in California...

I then moved house and had to start on waiting lists and new doctors etc all over again. Except that I didn't bother. I just ignored my back and over time it healed. I learnt a valuable lesson then - to give the body time to heal. To leave well alone sometimes.

This works for the mind as well. The mind needs time to adjust to changes of any kind. Even many traumas can be healed with time alone. Most soldiers who have been traumatised on operational duties feel fine some months later despite having had high emotions at the time and having had no treatment.

It is something to consider sometimes. Do you really need treatment now or will you feel better in time? Giving yourself and your mind the gift of time can be a wonderful healing strategy.

Ignore the Doom-Mongerers!

2009-01-26T12:34:00.003Z

My accountant has been muttering darkly about 2009 since November last year. He has been wishing it were over already, wishing it was over before it was begun - doom, gloom, recession blah blah. But I am simply not listening, despite it being poor grammar to begin a sentence with a conjunction! We can create a lot of our own reality and if I think it's going to be a bad year then I fully expect it will be. But if I continue to look for the good times then I am more likely to see the good times when they happen, attract more good times in the future AND have a better year anyway just because I have a more optimistic outlook!

The year has started well for me and I am happily practising from my new rooms. I am continuing to attract clients and I am helping them to enjoy their lives. How could I ask for more?!

An update on the Patchwork Dog... she went for blood tests this morning and I will find out how they are later in the week. She is certainly a lively girl at the moment, was bouncing 2 feet in the air this morning off all 4 paws and she hasn't done that in years.

Dog Days

2009-01-22T20:00:00.007Z

Few people ask how I am but so many people are concerned about my poorly sick dog! So given that I have published a photo of Squeaky, here is a photo of Patchwork Dog.

If you look carefully you can see her poor chilly belly, one patch on her neck, one on each foreleg and one on the left hand rear leg. She has another patch on the other side of her neck and these two I think are just starting to grow back.

Poor old girl. She goes back to the vet on Monday and we shall find out then how much she is recovering. She's so pretty and so valuable to me. The story of Patchwork Dog and me is a longer one and I will save it for another time.

It's another "me" post today and I hope you are still following while I take a break from philosophy and therapy. Having said that...

A dog is amazing therapy in itself. If you are feeling low then consider getting a dog. They love you and need you every day, no matter how you look, what you are wearing or how you are feeling. Dogs don't give a damn about all your perceived failures in life. You don't live alone when you have a dog. I cannot recommend them highly enough. They help you to focus outside yourself. If you are depressed and live alone, the introspection often takes over and you can help yourself into a pit. Having an outside focus brings you away from focussing too hard on yourself. And dogs are quiet and non-judgemental. I can honestly say that I have never been into chatting too much to my dogs but many dog owners do and it probably works.

My second best breed of dog after labrador retriever (yellow is the only colour!) ? It has to be the Border Terrier. Sound, good-natured little dogs. Trainable, small and clean with loads of personality.

Lets hear it for dogs!

To err is human - my Angel story

2009-01-21T20:23:00.006Z

"...and to forgive is divine" Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. We can't always forgive in reality can we? It's just not as easy as all that. So what I do is to distance myself. Then if I choose to step into the emotional space between me and a person whom I find it difficult to forgive entirely, then I am going in on my own terms. And those terms can usually mean that the error/misjudgement/deep penetrating hurt can be ignored, for that emotional transaction at least.

It's just an idea that I explored with a client this week. Perhaps it's worth trying.

I promised on a comment on the Majority of Two blog that I would write my angel story.

Some years ago I lived in Cyprus and I hated it there. I was very unhappy, far away from friends and family, my job was a tedious round of long hours whilst my companions were out playing in the sunshine, learning to scuba dive and sail. The job was ok but not how I thought it would be and the sheer volume of work was stressful. I hated where I lived and there was no immediate end to it either.

One morning I had to drive to Nicosia to take my car to a garage for a modification. There is one motorway in Cyprus, a 2 lane fast tarmac road. With a speed limit of 60mph, AARRGGHH! So I was in my new car, an Audi A3 and I enjoyed driving it fast. For fear of traffic cops I only took it to about 70. And as I came around a corner, there he was and I knew I was caught.

He was fairly nice really. Who was I? Where was I going? He realised very quickly that I wasn't a tourist and perhaps the thought of the extra paperwork for copping a Brit was too much for him. He let me off. I was very apologetic, I wouldn't do it again.

5 hours later I was on my way back to the southern end of the island. And was I driving above 60? Of course I was. I tried m'Lud, I really did but it just didn't happen...

As I rounded a different corner there was an entire posse of Police. My heart dropped like a stone. No way could I get off twice in one day, even if these ones didn't know what had happened earlier. The policeman was very nice. He leant down to look me in the eyes through the window. He asked if I lived here. Yes I'm British Forces, from Akrotiri. A long pause.

And as he stared straight into my eyes, "Why do you drive so fast? What are you running from?" Time stood still. Oh how I wished I didn't have the longest answer to that question. I felt like he could see into my soul.

He let me drive away without a ticket. When I told the story to a friend later, her eyes nearly popped out of her skull, "You met an Angel Helen. I wish I could meet an angel." I hadn't particularly believed in angels but I started to wonder.

A few years ago a friend told me she was an angel. Oh yeah, right! And then she explained that we are all angels. When we have realised who we are and the light has come on and is shining, that's when it becomes apparent. And we will know others when we meet them. There is more to this than you might think initially. It's something to just take in gently and let the seed germinate. When you need it again, the knowledge will be there.

Let your light shine.

Success and Failure

2009-01-20T16:20:00.004Z

Well it's been a funny day or two. I saw my weight loss client today. She is a funny mix of contradictions. I alsways have to aske her the same question twice in different manners because each time the answer is different. She is doing well in my view but on a scale of one to ten she only thinks her progress is a 5 out of 10. So much for my opinions then! She's happy anyhow, a BIG thing for her, because she has been very low and depressed. Before Christmas she got into a dip that I was worried might turn into a huge trough. But is hasn't. Woo Hoo!

So today, for the first time, my lady was not wearing black. I thought it a huge step forward. She had barely noticed and laughed. She also laughed at how excited I was when she told me how good she was feeling. I don't care, I love it.

So where's the bad news then? Well my stop smoking client from last week has gone to pieces according to her sister, can't even get out of the house and is smoking again. Now this is a tough one, really tough. If she can't get to see me then how can I help? I am loathe at the moment to offer to visit. I cannot be all things to everyone, yet I want to help, of course I do. I am suspecting a big guilt trip although I may be wrong. The lady is pregnant and her last baby suffered because she smoked through pregnancy. Hence coming to me to help her stop.

Now is she terrified because she has already failed and she is now putting her baby at risk? Is she worried about the baby? Is she just hormonally and emotionally pregnant? She is apparently an emotional wreck! ANd has gone back to cigarettes, back to the toxic friend that she knows and loves, who makes her feel better. And yet the cigarette friend doesn't make her feel better, no he makes her feel worse. So the family are blaming me. Oh good... It isn't cheap to give up smoking with hypnosis but you can save that money you spent in about a month with what you save on cigarettes. This lady is not well off, quite the opposite. I so want to help her but my messages go unanaswered. What can I do?

So some highs and lows today. Now it's time for another high - taking my beloved out. Going out in the week, how decadent! NO, you fools, taking the dog out for a walk! Oops, Patchwork Dog heard me from her slumber behind my chair and has leapt up with the energy of a coiled spring. Well she looked up and stretched anyway. I mustn't tease her, she is poorly sick after all...

For the Journey

2009-01-19T22:23:00.003Z

There is a huge hooha in America about the inauguration of Barack Obama. I know I am not alone in wondering about all the fuss. there is some train journey for a start. What is it all about? Why all the expense when many Americans can't afford healthcare?

Don't get me wrong, I am overjoyed that there is a black president. I find it inconceivable that it was only a few years before I was born that there was segregation in America. Around the time I was born, my father was in the RAF and my parents were renting an apartment in Oxfordshire. It was the late sixties, people were still relatively poor, there was a shared bathroom, shared with the occupants of another apartment.

My mother had an American friend at the time, her husband was in the USAF. Her name was Bonnie and she was a southern belle. She confided to my mother, "Oh but Ann, you can't live here." My mother thought it was because the flat was down at heel. "But the bathroom Ann. They're black!" My mother's neighbours, who shared the bathroom were black Americans.

Are you as shocked as I was?

The journey we as a society has come on since then is pleasing in many ways. And we are all on journeys. I often help my clients with NLP work. It is like programming for the brain. We often give the mind a vision of the better future they want, with their goals fulfilled. It helps because it gives the mind a destination to aim for. We can sit down and decide we want to go on holiday but until we know where we want to go, how are we to find our way there? If we don't know whether we are going to Bognor or Barbados, how will we know whether to go to the railway station or to the airport?

I explained this to a client today who told me that we could forget the highway to happiness because for her entire life she hadn't even been on the map! It was a funny moment, not a sad one. This lady is learning a lot, she's coming along for the ride, the journey of change.

I am conscious that yesterday's post was a little "me" orientated. That was not the intention of this blog when I started so I hope I have given you a bit more interest today. Happy travels.

Priceless

2009-01-18T19:29:00.006Z

Today was a priceless day. It was a family day.

It started with my small boy coming into bed with us while he drank his milk and we had our tea. After getting dressed we all had our breakfast together. Hubby and I had Shreddies (you see, all you Americans, we don't all eat toast...) and Squeaky had "Stones." It's an oat cereal and he thinks it looks like little stones - it does. SO he calls them stones. Squeaky loves stones, loves playing with them, stacking them, finding them, bringing them home...

So after breakfast he goes out to take our sickly labrador for a walk with his daddy. Sick dog is much better, far bouncier and continuing to take her medication well and eating like a labrador! She is still a patchwork dog - covered in shaved spots where she had drips and had to have blood taken. Her tummy was completely shaved for her ultrasound poor thing.

We then went on a treat to the swimming pool. Squeaky has been swimming since he was 3 or 4 months old. He doesn't quite swim yet. Some 2 year olds can. But he loves it and we had a great time. And then a FAB family treat - the Zoo!

I'm not terribly into animals in zoos, I have to be quite honest, but the hubby is, only because it is a treat, a family time. Small children like seeing animals, it appeals to them in some way. Later at home, he managed to remember some of the animals he saw. It's a hard task for someone who can only just talk. We ate chips and biscuits in the cafe - junk food not healthy snacks. This was a TREAT remember!

And how priceless was our day? I hope I remember days like today. It frightens me that I may not. My small person had a lovely time. He was with his mummy and daddy enjoying life, being taken care of, being loved. Maybe later in life he will tell me he doesn't like swimming and zoos. But today he did and that's enough for me.

One or two of you may enjoy this photo. It's a little while ago now but it shows Squeaky continuing his rugby training even while on holiday. He is VERY dedicated!

The Tilting Universe

2009-01-14T15:53:00.003Z

I would like you to read this blog entry. It is written by a lady called Jo, who is Canadian and her blog is called Majority of Two. She writes beautifully and it is a lovely blog. See what you think.

http://majorityoftwo.blogspot.com/2009/01/tilting-universe.html

Yes the universe does tilt on a sixpence and our own small parts in it can be affected by tiny chance events. Almost 20 years ago, an acquaintance said something which clinched my decision to join the Army. She was just talking about why she was joining herself, not trying to convince me, just chatting. We were sitting on a windy hill by a range flag in the September of 1991. Just a few chance remarks by a relatively insignificant person changed my life.

The direction it has taken since then has led me to the place I am now, following my life's work, feeding my soul, married to my soulmate, bringing up our wonderful son.

The name of this individual was Rebecca Taylor. We were acquainted for some years after but I don't think she had any idea of how important she was/is in my life. Becks, if by any chance you are reading then I thank you. And the people I have touched in my life thank you too.

Followers

2009-01-13T22:26:00.004Z

So there are one or two followers out there hmm? Well show yourselves won't you? Write a comment or two. Where are you coming from? What do you think? Tell me a little.

Let me tell you a bit more about my days.

Today I helped a lady to stop smoking. Happily I helped her to bond with her unborn baby too. She went away very happy. In just 2 hours I have helped 5 lives. The first two are the woman and the baby. The others are her other 3 children. That family is now healthier and have more money. That baby is potentially healthier than it would have been had the mother kept on smoking. And those benefits last through all their lives - more money, better health. You can't argue with that.

My client yesterday told me how she could just see in me that I loved what I do. So it shows on the outside as well. Even though at that point I had told her nothing about myself she could sense the contentment. How many of us are really doing what makes us truly happy? Doing what makes us happy is following our true path in life, following our higher purpose. Using our real skills to make our way in life is following our higher purpose, what our soul set out to achieve. When we follow our soul's path, we are happy inside, our soul is nourished.

I love my clients. Every one of them is so different, with such differing backgrounds and histories and outlooks. They are such wonderful, unique people. And so interesting. One of them was in the film industry. Ooh, how glamorous! No, not really as I found out! And all the glamorous jobs are just like that too - not so fantastic at all.

So follow your heart, follow your soul. Whatever it is that you do well is a good place to start. And if that thing isn't a money-spinner then do it when you are not working for money. You will be surprised at how things work out. And if you keep following your instincts you are following your soul's path. And that way leads to contentment.

Followers

2009-01-13T22:26:00.000Z

So there are one or two followers out there hmm? Well show yourselves won't you

It's still changing

2009-01-12T23:18:00.004Z

You see change is not just in the air, it is everywhere. It is in us and around us, it permeates our cells.

There is a huge shift going on in the universe at the moment. And we have to shift within it. Can't you feel it? Don't you perceive it? Don't dig in your heels and try to resist it - that will hurt. Think you can stop a tidal wave? Go right ahead and try but it won't be pretty.

I can feel the change. I can feel it inside me. My own small world is also changing within the wider shift. And it's pointless to resist it. Is your life shifting? If you sit still for a moment can you feel the winds? Where are they taking us?

I have to mention that I am surprised but people are actually reading my ramblings. The blog tells me that there are no followers but one or two of you are sneakily out there. I hope you are enjoying it so far. Such pressure on me to write something interesting all the time!

Let me tell you about my job today. A client asked how long I had been doing this. She said she could see I loved it. And how? All we had done was to talk about her. I hadn't even put in any huge effort at this stage. Yes I do love it. I miss the Army too, missing it more the further it goes away from me. But how could I not love hypnotherapy? I help people to enjoy their lives.

The people who come to see me are in pain, mental pain. And that pain is preventing them from enjoying their life. Imagine walking a mile with a stone in your shoe. Ouch! The pain in your foot leads to the source of the pain - the stone. Remove the stone and you can enjoy walking again, free from pain. I help you to remove the stone. I help you to enjoy your life.

For those who are wondering, and those who have asked, my dog is improving every day thanks! She is a bouncing bundle of fun again Perhaps she will never be completely well but she is good and happy. And so are we!

Change and change again

2009-01-08T21:47:00.003Z

What did I say earlier? Change is in the air. But it IS in the air. Change is all around us, for every one of us. It is no coincidence that the financial markets have had their upheaval. It is no surprise that all around us people's lives are changing - repossessions, job losses.

But it is only change. It doesn't have to be disaster. Life might be crap for a while but it won't be terrible for ever unless you let it. And that is the key. Storms come and go, they don't last. And we don't remain in the huddle of shelter after the rain has gone. When we go through a tough time in life, it is natural to curl up, withdraw into ourselves, it is healing, we are tired. The brain needs time to take it all in and change if necessary. But if after the acute stress is over we stay curled up and withdrawn then we are sheltering from a storm that has passed. And we risk never coming out to see the blue sky.

Fire is a natural phenomena and it leaves destruction. But fire also cleanses. It leaves behind clean and open areas, ripe for new growth. The old and diseased and choked up wilderness has gone. Fire in nature is not a mistake, it is a part of the circle of life.

This week, the parents of a friend of mine lost their house to a fire. The farmhouse on their land was burnt to the ground. Nothing remains, not one thing. But they are here, they have their land which they farm and they have each other. I would be desperately upset if I were them, traumatised even. But not for ever.

I have a friend whose husband died on the same day that their second child was born. She doesn't cry every day. She's changed. She has made friends she didn't knew she had. And recently she went on a journey to Australia to see about building a new life over there. And she was surprised to learn about how much she has right here. So she's staying. The fire cleansed, leaving something else growing. Something that my friend was not expecting, had no clue about. But she recognised the need to climb out of the cave, the need to look about and search for the blue sky. Don't think that she is a Pollyanna wonder woman who is now perfectly happy without her husband. Of course she misses him terribly. But to hide herself away from blue skies and sunshine would feel so much worse.

You can stay miserable or you can take steps to look for some tiny good things in life. And as soon as you start looking, you will see them. The couple with the burnt down house have their family around them, no one was harmed and what better thing in life is that? The more you see tiny good things, the more those things expand and grow until they take over your life. And one day you forgetto be sad. And you don't realsie for a short while until you remember that you were supposed to be sad but you weren't today. And it is a surprise, a shock even.

No one knows where or when the better days are. But they are there. If you dare to notice them.

Weight Loss with Hypnosis

2009-01-06T23:23:00.002Z

I am conscious that this Blog has not explored Hypnotherapy as much as it should so far.

I don't have much time this evening but I will go into more depth later on. But today was a fab day frankly. A client who I am seeing for weight loss came in. She was bemoaning the way she had eaten too much over Christmas and been slobbing in front of the telly. She felt fat and guilty and had put weight on.

But she had cut her alcohol intake, she was following my weight loss rules (it's not a diet, it's a way of living) and her activity level had increased dramatically. And all without her even noticing. She was feeling cheerful and energetic.

And when I probed further, she had lost weight - 12lb in the 5 weeks since she first came to see me. How good is that?! It's not so hard this job, but the rewards, the rewards are pure gold!

Sick as a Dog

2008-12-29T16:22:00.004Z

My dog!

My poor beautiful labrador has been really ill. In fact she still is a very poorly dog. I took her to the vets thinking she had a urine infection and the vet admitted her immediately, with severe jaundice! Several days later we were driving her down the M1 to a specialist vet hospital in Bedfordshire.

She has had loads of medication, a prescription diet and ultrasound scans etc. She has chronic liver disease! And yet we didn't even know she was ill. Her test results suggest she should be a very sick dog, yet she was bouncing around as usual.

We thought she wasn't coming home ever again. It was terrible. I had no idea what it is like to have a sick animal. She came home on Christmas Eve thank heaven and is doing ok. Not recovered, and never quite will but improving.

I am so attached to her. I don't want to think about her not being here. It's been such a shock.

You know that your pet is going to die before you do. You absolutely know it but to be faced with it suddenly was not funny. I really didn't think she was coming home again. And every moment with her now is a bonus, every walk is precious.

Smoke Free Forever

2008-12-15T12:35:00.003Z

Sometimes I see clients in my Daventry hypnosis practice who I am not convinced will be successful at stopping smoking. Perhaps they don't give me enough of a conviction that they want to do it. I usually tell them that they may find it more difficult than others might do. If they then launch an attack and tell me that they CAN do it, then I treat them.

Sometimes a client will come who is just "finding out" and sometimes I refuse to treat them. It's not as bad as it sounds. They just don't give me any clues at all that they really WANT to stop. So we have a nice chat and I tell them tactfully that I don't think they are ready for it yet. These people always look relieved at this point and they go away happy.

Last week a mother and daughter passed by the shop who I had treated 6 months ago. They came in for a chat - both were completely smoke free and very happy and enjoying it. They hadn't found it difficult at all. I was ecstatic. I had thought that they both might have trouble. I was so overjoyed for them. And think of the extra money they will have for Christmas - how brilliant is that?!

I've only ever had one person who didn't manage to give up. I was disappointed but I had given her all the treatment I could, and some more. She however was not disappointed, she had enjoyed the reatment and knew that she would have the resources available to her when she did feel ready to quit.

We never know, do we what is going to happen. We might have a good idea but we can't totally predict.

It IS time to change

2008-12-09T15:26:00.003Z

Well it is for me anyway, and BIG change.

Business is closing! My cherished dream, my dream of owning my own business, which I have had since I was 14, is going up in smoke. I was asked today how I felt about it. I am over the wailing and gnashing of teeth and "poor me" now. I am still sore however because my dreams have not materilaised.

What I do know is things happen for a reason. There is a reason why even though I don't know it. My business was not destined. My partner has pulled out on me, otherwise I would have steadfastly kept on going. In this situation I have no choice however and that is why I believe this path was not ultimately for me. I was very upset but now I going with it, going with the flow.

Strange that that was one thing I advocated in an earlier Blog post! And now I am being forced to live with it. Is that irony? Or fate? I don't know but it IS growth for me. I am really growing right now.

I can feel change. I have a slight unsettledness within me. Change is in the air, it's all around me. The last time I felt this, I was pregnant and I knew that in a few months time my life and my feelings within it would change for ever. It was not a bad feeling, just a knowing within me. And I have it now.

6 weeks ago, a gypsy passed by and was desperate to read my palm. She flattered me, "You have such a lovely face," she said. She told me some things which made no sense - I will be prosperous in business and property next year. And how? Business was not looking good and property did not figure. I kept it to myself. Just a couple of weeks ago we decided to move house. My husband instigated it, not me, it came out of the blue.

And now the business is closing too. Yet today I met someone with whom I may strike up a new business alliance. Didn't I write elsewhere that luck is not luck, it is keeping open to opportunity and taking it when it comes. Is this the prosperous relationship that I need to forge?

So much change in the air. It doesn't feel bad, only neutral. Where will these winds of change take us? I'm keeping open.

The Map is not the Territory

2008-11-16T20:43:00.003Z

This is a saying that NLP Practitioners like to use. What they are saying is that you draw your own map but the evidence for is it totally subjective, it is your evidence and yours alone. You may describe yourself as shy and lacking in confidence. Yet no one who knows you would say this about you. You are self-assured and engaging in social situations. So what is the truth? Are you shy and lacking in confidence? Well how could that be so? It is certainly not what the evidence suggests, and that evidence is what everyone else sees, a social charmer perhaps, easy in company. So if all your friends see you as confident and you alone think you are shy then the overwhelming evidence is that you are confident.

It is a way of looking at things in another light. Hypnotherapists call this "reframing."

Check out your internal evidence. It may be less persuasive than you at first thought.

Remembering - Help for Heroes

2008-11-11T21:43:00.006Z

I was at a meeting on Friday where a collection was taken for the Royal British Legion Poppy Appeal. Our leader annouced Remembrance Sunday as the day where we remember those who died in the Great War. "NO!" I wanted to scream. It's not just the First World War, it is EVERY war, EVERY conflict. Every single soldier who has died must be remembered that day.

I never know whether everyone in the Army feels the same way as me, but I cannot help remembering everyone I know who has died. I remember the ones who died in traffic accidents and from illness, not just those injured and killed in war zones.

At Sandhurst, where you go through Officer training, there is the Chapel of Remembrance. It's walls are covered with the names of all the officers who have died in wars since the First World War. I used to sit in services in there reading the names and wondering which of us standing there that day would end up as names on a marble clad pillar. Some of us are there now. There is a book at the front of the aisle in which are written every name of every officer killed. Each Sunday the page would be turned so that the names would always be changing and always remembered. One Chapel Sunday I was given the great honour of turning the page. How can I describe what that sort of honour felt like?

We had to do some tough mental stuff at times. One of my soldiers was killed in a car crash. I was quite young at the time. We had just come back from an operational tour in Bosnia, it had been a good time. I had been Duty Officer that night but I hadn't been called out once and had had a full night's sleep. My radio turned itself on at 7am to the local news, announcing that one of my soldiers had been killed and 2 injured. Their names were announced. First I was in shock, second I felt sick and third I was furious. Why hadn't I been told? Why wasn't I woken up? Why had I heard this on the radio?

When I got to work I had to stand in front of my platoon and tell them that their mate had been killed. The most difficult thing I have ever done. Later I went to see the others in hospital. They were shocked and Casey was traumatised. He told me what had happened, how he knew as soon as he saw him that his friend was dead. And there was the funeral. His father was an officer, had been a soldier himself. Was totally dignified. He thanked me for looking after his boy. I told him I hadn't done anything but he knew. He knew.

My soldier's name? Mark Townley. It was 15 years ago. I had one photograph with him in it and it got destroyed in a move. There is a memory of him, but it's only in my head now. I remember Mark Townley on every Remembrance Day. I expect his parents do too.

When you are in the forces or you have been, every piece of news about them is intensely personal to you. I feel every death that is announced as if I knew them. But I also feel for the others remaining. For every death that is reported there are 6 others who have been injured. Does anyone remember them? Or even know?

Help for Heroes? They are ALL heroes.

Home or Away?

2008-11-10T13:59:00.002Z

It's the big dilemma. Do therapists do home visits? Yes, to make people feel more at home (well, they ARE at home) but No, there may be too many distractions.

The more comfortable your client, the better they will feel and the more rapport you may be able to achieve. The better rapport, the better the therapy, ergo the happier and more satisfied your client.

So why on earth insist on clinic appointments? I feel more at home, got all my books and files, references, so I can do a better job and thus serve my client. Home visits cost more - time and cost of travel. There may be distractions that are not conducive to hypnosis. There may not be a comfortable chair etc. A clinic setting is more professional, gives a better impression, has my qualifications on the wall.

Consider this - do you prefer a mobile hairdresser or do you like to go and be pampered in a salon?

I need some opinions on this. What would you prefer?

Luck or Opportunity?

2008-11-03T16:53:00.001Z

Someone once wrote that luck is subjective. Luck was only opportunities that you either take or you don't. When you take them and they work out well then you call it luck. The way to become lucky therefore is to always be on the lookout for opportunities and take them. I like that a lot. It's rare that I don't take an oportunity.

Today's opportunity was a phone call from our local radio station. I blagged my way onto it in March to talk about National No Smoking Day and how I can help people quit smoking with hypnosis. Well after a lot of CRM (Customer Relationship Management with the producer whose email I kept) they have a spare slot tomorrow morning and phoned me up on the off chance that I was available.

So I am talking on Radio Northampton again tomorrow. OK so it isn't the big time, it's not Capital or Virgin Radio but I don't mind. It's a chance to talk about how I help people, tell everyone what I can do for them. It is self promotion, I cannot deny it. I am actually terrible at selling myself but I am ok at talking about what I do so there is my compromise.

But that was luck wasn't it? Luck that I had the producer's email. Luck that I kept emailing her about products and services that we offer. Luck that I was phoned today and I was free tomorrow. So I took the opportunity. Why not? I had to make my own luck, but it was there for the taking.

That's my thought today - take the opportunities when they come around because I don't know when they will be there again. Lap up the luck!

It IS time to change

2008-10-29T13:32:00.000Z

We should embrace change because it means we are not standing still. If we stand still the blood stops flowing, the system and chi stagnates and we can become ill. This is true also for the soul.

Change is stimulating, change forces us to look beyond self-imposed barriers and to re-assess. Even what seems like a negative change will have a positive aspect, particularly if you look for it, particularly if you want to find something positive. How many of us can say that about our lives? DO we really embrace change? Or do we just muddle along through, grumbling as we go? Do we always look at change in a negative light?

I wrote the above words for my Newsletter and it struck a chord and got me thinking. I don't embrace change, I know I don't! And yet I know how good it is for us. I know how my life would flow so much more smoothly if I accepted change more easily. Rigid thinking is what gets us into ruts and upsets and disappointments in life. Accepting what we have and what we are given by the universe means life is more comfortable.

Always striving for what we don't have is tough. Not that we shouldn't strive for excellence, and there is nothing wrong with a clear goal and a determination to get there. But life does not always go as we had thought it would. It is dealing with the unknowns, the knock-backs and the curved balls that throw us. If we only accepted and embraced the change at those points then how much anguish we would avoid.

That's my resolution for the coming year - "Embrace the Change!"

Money Madness

2008-10-28T14:56:00.000Z

Someone came to see me today who needed help with his panic attacks and anxiety. It is something which is right up my street. No problem buddy, I can help you with that. He isn't working and couldn't afford my modest fees. I offered a (substantial) reduction but that didn't cut it either.

What to do? I offered him an affordable CD at a reduced price. That went down well. And after that I suggested he needed to go through his GP. I gave him my NHS provider number and perhaps the PCT might pay for him to see me. Or not. As far as I am aware, the credit crunch has not recently hit the NHS - it got smacked in the face with it sometime after 1972...

But it raises an interesting question. I feel like an altruistic healer, all I want to do is help people. But I operate as a capitalist business. I can't figure out the answer.